The Cruel Hand of Fate

In December of 1945, on the cusp of World War II’s end, two souls encounter each another to begin an affair born of intrigue and attraction. He is a Chinese citizen, Hsu, living in the states and contracted by the US Military in the official capacity of an Interpreter, and she is a young seventeen-year-old girl, Lois, who has just returned to university following holidays spent at home where she met the impressive and well-spoken Hsu while at an SRO dance. Immensely drawn to each other, they see each other a number of times before forced to only speak through an exchange of letters which reveal growing affections while one pleads for the other’s attention amidst growing concerns of prevailing prejudices. In a different span of time, on the heels of a war inspired by bigotry and hatred, the girl gives way to fear, mightily influenced by both her family and her peer’s opinions for she is young and naïve, though her heart yearns for something she has yet to fully understand. Two twin souls from completely different backgrounds and circumstances, alone and so very lonely, cross paths, intersecting ever so briefly while traveling along a road fate has so cruelly divined.

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7 January 46

(Letter from Hsu. A note is enclosed with the gifting of a Seahorse Brooch.)

May this trifle uninteresting

Extract of gleaming sunshine

From a foreign admirer

Bring wishes for warmth and happiness.

Dear Lois,

A time has come when I cannot resist thinking of you in the moment, with the warmth of sunshine a sharp contrast to the dullness of my office. I see you there, on the downy lawn that provides you a jade-like carpet on which I can almost see your dainty feet, so small and gentle, as you sail to and fro. Yes, I dream you are here in front of me though you are far away. Distance cannot separate people if they desire enough to be together.

The first new moon of this year peeped over the window pane last night, and I, following the call of a looming voice, walked toward the red lights of the radio tower. They were the sign of warning: warning you are leaving me and time left for us was counting on mere seconds. They will be my landmarks to which I shall make continuous efforts to look for you until I am able to see you again, someday and somewhere.

Won’t you tell me when and where?

Yours,

Hsu

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8 January 46 (from Hsu)

Dear Lois,

Has it occurred to you when you touch something, it immediately reminds you of someone and shows you his picture? So does that little shell and slightly scented indigo ribbon now show me your picture, a vivid reminiscence of their mistress. Silly though it may sound, is it really so silly?

Hsu

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10 January 46 (from Hsu)

Dear Lois,

You never know how much you may mean to someone until you meet the very one, who, if you do not bother to find out about with the loving patience of a sculpture for his shape-taking marble, you might very well pass by completely unaware of his existence. So, do not hesitate to stop and listen to the one who calls you so many times a day, when you are awake and asleep, in reverie and dreams. Above all, please, do not grow bored.

Whatever this foreign friend may think, he is only wishing good for you, whatever he may say, he is only saying a partial manifest of his admiration for you. He only desires to know you are happy, then he, too, will be happy though the dim lights in the barracks spell only loneliness in the night.

My thoughts are of you,

Hsu

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12 January 46

(Letter from Lois)

Dear Hsu,

Last night, on a call home, I fought terribly with my father. I demanded father allow me to see you when I return home in the spring, but he swore it would only happen over his dead body. I am afraid. I am afraid of what is between us and how the world around us has made it so ugly.

I tossed and turned all night because of my argument with father, leaving me ill rested today. I dreamed we were together but you were surrounded by beautiful Chinese ladies and ignored me, speaking not a word to me. Of a sudden, you grew further and further from my sight, like a fading sunset until I was left to wonder if this relationship was doomed long before it began. Your words sing to my heart, and I want to believe all that you say while fear, like a snake, invades to cripple me from all possible reaction.

Lois

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16 January 46 (from Hsu)

Lois, Dear,

I am sorry your heart worried. I am sorrier still you fought with your father and managed to have such a horrible dream. My lovely little one, you must have thought awfully of me that such unpleasant and ugly dreams could present me in the most unreliable, negative way. Perhaps when I wrote my thoughts were of you, somehow it seemed an evil intrusion, further emboldened by the argument with your father. Surely, such thoughts overwhelmed you in the night. I do not want to intrude though my heart propels me closer to you. Tell me please, does my presence, real or imaginary, only produce disturbance in your heart? If so, I will have to respect your wishes. I am but a plain, ordinary man who, in spite of his intentions, only desires your happiness.

Still, it was rather cruel to dream I ignored you. I may have run into many Chinese beauties in my golden days, but there has never been another creature able to possess me as completely as you have – so much so, I was unable to talk to any other flower when we met. It is only now, in the face of such loveliness, I realize Paradise’s true value.

Write whenever you feel like it. Remember I am always thirsty to read whatever you put on paper, even one single line, one word, one stroke.

I anxiously await to be brought into a broader world of happiness, a land of Paradise I can savor. Who will bring me aloft into that beautiful land? Who will see me capture what is missing? My dearest, it all remains in your hands.

Yours,

Hsu

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21 January 46 (from Lois)

Dear Hsu,

I had another dream of you, but this time it was a lovely one. We were at the ocean, holding hands and laughing against such a lovely landscape. As we embraced, we seemed to melt into each other.

How I wish my dream might come true……

Lois

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4 February 46 (from Hsu)

Lois,

I am beginning to wonder if you truly had such a fantastic dream of me. The dream, derived from your imagination, you in turn painted on the paper for me. It was only one of two letters you’ve ever written to me.

Somehow, days ago, a gust of breeze swept by my window. It stopped to caress the drapes on the wall but for a moment and then it drifted away. Following its gentle touch, I thought I heard your footsteps. You came nearer and nearer, then you went further and further away as you did not stop. No, you did not stop.

Still, I could not stop myself from picking up this pen to write a line, to inform you of your precious shell, cherished within my custody. There it will safely remain with my thoughts of you.

Let Hsu say a prayer for Lois this quiet evening…

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14 February 46 (from Hsu)

Lois,

It is consolatory to have someone to think of on a day like this when everyone is extending his affection to the one for whom he cares. Sweet things are aplenty, but the best and most appropriate token is harder to choose - harder still to decide upon.

May this sheet of paper convey sincere wishes from a foreign friend who is leaving you farther and farther day after day. I assure you that your name, once casually remembered can never be forgotten.

I pray for the moment you may feel lonely so you might think of dropping me a line. This is all I ask of you.

Hsu

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12 April 46 (from Hsu)

Permit me to say that forgetfulness is not a word in my dictionary though in yours, it may be printed in “bold type”.

And since knowing you has always been enlightening, I do not suppose there is any need for me to seek oblivion.

So it goes…..

Hsu

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Hsu remained in the states and became an American citizen. A few years later, he married a woman, a survivor of the war, who bore him two sons while he became a well-respected university professor and author. He lived happily for long years before his untimely death in an accident at the age of seventy.

Lois married a man of poor choice who within a few years of the marriage, became a drunk, a gambler, and a womanizer. Though she gave birth to two daughters, she divorced, remaining so until she died at forty-seven from health related issues.

Hsu and Lois never spoke or interacted again. Still, Lois treasured the letters Hsu had penned until her death, never discarding them though she moved several times and thirty years passed.

The hand fate deals sometimes appears unnecessarily cruel, lingering in the remnants of what dreams and realities might have been.