Married...with Controversy?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t care about all the new shows out there. Whenever I open up a streaming service, I get so overwhelmed by all the options or suggestions, I shut off the part of the brain in charge of making decisions, and go back to the old reliable shows I’ve seen on repeat for years. You already know the show’s good. You’re familiar and happy with the characters. You’ve heard the dialogue so much, you can just leave the tv on in the background like white noise while you go about your day-to-day activities.

Even as I type this, I’m listening to my favorite radio psychologist on Frasier. Even though I’ve seen it over and over, you can just ride that nostalgia train until your brain chugs on over to dopamine land, over and over again.

Now, there is one show that I’m a particular fan of. But in this day and age, I know if I reveal the name of that show out loud to my friends, family, or colleagues, they'll never look at me the same way again. They may all cut their ties with me.

There are plenty of other shows that I’ll defer to whenever I’m asked what my favorites are. It’s easy for me to point to Frasier to bond with others. You know you’re watching smart comedy. You feel smart just saying you watch it. Other people feel smart agreeing with you. Now, is it smart to watch it over and over again? Syndications say absolutely.

And I’m such a Simpsons nut (or is it donut?) that I’ve been known to put on The Simpsons DVD commentaries on repeat. Lots of tidbits to learn. Not to mention the occasional guest commentary from Conan O’Brien on episodes he wrote for. You can’t even get the option to listen to the commentary on Disney Plus. Boy, I sure hope someone got fired for that blunder. By the way, quote a line or make any reference from The Simpsons at a bar or office cubicle, and you can immediately suss out who’s capable of becoming your best friend.

But there’s one show I’ve yet to admit that I watch even to my closest friends. I risk being accused of harassment or insensitivity.

Here’s a hint. It’s not the Cosby’s.

Though that literally was a working title back then. If they kept that title, maybe the show would be thriving today. But it won’t because when you watch the show today with a fresh pair of eyes, it would most likely warrant too much outrage.

Still haven’t figured it out? Let Frank Sinatra serenade you with the show’s theme song:

"Love and Marriage, love and marriage,

Go together like a horse and carriage."

If the horse was my TV, the carriage I’m talking about is Married…with Children.

Yes, this is my confession. I’m a huge fan of Al Bundy and the rest of the Bundy clan. I remember as a teenager I’d turn on Fox to watch a half-hour or full hour of obnoxious hooting and hollering at anything lewd, rude, and crude.

Nowadays, I make sure the coast is clear before I watch Married…with Children. And I live by myself.

Admittedly, now that I’m older and allegedly wiser, the show today is socially unacceptable. Frasier, this ain’t. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. But why can’t I watch and enjoy shows both highbrow and lowbrow?

Look, I get it. The show is outright sexist. The show had more fat jokes than the number of customers Al had in his shoe store.

Al had even more insults for his skinny chicken of a neighbor Marcy.

He whines anytime his wife Peggy wanted sex.

And there was a constant flow of leering, drooling, and cringeworthy catcalling toward any woman who's not fat and not Peggy.

And then there’s Bud’s slut-shaming his older sister Kelly, and her virgin-shaming him back. Kelly as the dumb blonde with an outward sexuality trope was also low-hanging fruit. But if I’m completely honest, I was a teenage boy like Bud, so watching this show was my equivalent of reading a Playboy magazine whenever they had models on the show.

Also problematic re-watching the show today are the threats of domestic abuse that pervaded the show. Jackie Gleason in The Honeymooners would probably stop joking about sending his wife to the moon if he saw this show.

Yet, even with all these issues, I can’t turn away. The constant zingers and insults are fun to listen to. There were absurd scenarios you would never see in any other TV show like a dead Santa in the backyard, or all the women’s menstrual cycles syncing up during a camping trip, or using a smelly shoe to dine and dash from a pricy restaurant. All the other shows back then had happy families with happy conclusions. Married...with Children showed the caricature of a low-income family and even lower morale. This was a refreshing world I never knew as a first-generation, middle-class teenager.

Could the show survive in today’s environment? Ironically, the show succeeded because of how offensive it was. A homemaker’s public campaign to get the show off the air for its “anti-family values” ended up promoting the series and ratings skyrocketed. So at least I know I’m not the only one that’s watching this kind of stuff. I’m sure new programs today couldn’t have done what they’ve done had it not been for Married…with Children breaking the porcelain ceiling decades ago.

For what it’s worth, there were actual moments that did seem to embody family values. Al Bundy proved to be a decent, secondary father figure. Despite being a deadbeat shoe salesman, Al could still miraculously feed his family. He beat up dunces that didn’t deserve Kelly. He helped Bud come of age, even if that meant taking him to the Nudie Bar. He never cheated on Peggy when presented the chance in several episodes. For all the insults thrown at each other, Al still loved his family. If you listen past the hoots and hollers, there’ll be some aww’s you might have missed.

Of course, this is a show where no one’s supposed to learn anything watching it, and that’s what a guilty pleasure’s all about. I keep Married…with Children on my screen just to have something on for something’s sake, but it helps if I’m in the mood for toilet humor and nostalgia.