I Learned a Great Deal About Our Own Mortality As Men By Watching This Film

Men? Our egos will be our demise if we don't get control of it while we still can. The decline of any civilization is deeply rooted in inflated ego. You start thinking that this will never end and that you will always be on top.

Then, you stop putting forth the work thinking that things are just going to fall in your favor without ever having to work for it.

You pretty much stop taking things as serious as you use to and now, you're just resting on your laurels.

Don't believe me? Ask Apollo Creed about that. Oh, that's right, you can't! Because he's in a pine box somewhere!

Speaking of Apollo? You can't mention him without mentioning Rocky Balboa. Those two are synonymous with one another.

Here we are again for the review of Rocky Cuatro/Rocky IV.

I'm firing up my old and crusty projector as we speak.

One thing about these Rocky movies is that they surely know how to sink you into the film just by their recaps alone.

They made Mr. T look so scary in this film montage. 

They're replaying the scene from the end of Rocky III when Rocky has to repay the favor Apollo asked of him. That could've been misinterpreted a whole other way.

The scene sorta looks like a made-for-TV movie as far as picture quality goes. 

A made-for-TV movie with softcore porn music playing in the background.

Are these dudes going to fight or fuck?!

That's a nice car Rocky's driving as he's pulling up to his mansion. 

Is that the same car he gave to Paulie in Rocky II? It certainly looks like it.

Rocky's right! The light on that camera his son's holding is extremely bright indeed.

Oh, that's the robot lady! 

You know, I heard that Sly Stallone cut this part out in a later release of this movie. Too bad! I think this is the only "woman" who could put up with all of Paulie's bullshit. 

Oh snap! That's a dudes' voice talking. My fault.

Adrian's voice sounded a little deeper. Not Barry White deep but her voice had a very sensuous depth to it.

We are introduced to a legendary character, "Ivan Drago" played by Dolph Lundgren.

We can't forget about about Brigitte Nielson and this was back when she was at her peak. 

I just found out that her character's name in the movie was Ludmilla.

Ludmilla? What in the fuck's kinda name is that?!

They could've named her something like Karla like they did in Beverly Hills Cop 2. 

Ludmilla sounds like an ugly ass-looking broad. Anyways, back to the review.

Everybody can see how fine Brigitte was. Even Apollo was checking her out on his Panasonic TV as he was playing with his dogs in the swimming pool. 

Speaking of Panasonic, this was back when logos weren't blurred out or when you didn't need a team of lawyers to get approval for showcasing a brand.

Nowadays, you need Jim Adler and everybody else just to get a simple "I'll think about it" before you can do anything.

Also, the reason why Creed wanted to fight Drago wasn't just because he was looking for a fight. It was because Drago wanted to fight Rocky in an exhibition. 

I think it was his ego and pride that finally did him in. 

A reporter basically asks Drago's team if he's on steroids. Ludmilla says no and that he eats his spinach, "like Popeye." 

Well Toots, he's ingesting more then spinach. 

I bet he's got more testosterone running through his veins then your average Clydesdale.

Wait a minute?! Now I hear a female voice from the robot. 

Maybe he's androgynous like Prince in the 1980's or Pat from SNL. (Shrugs)

I see another Panasonic television. 

I wonder did Stallone and co. have a sponsorship deal of sorts with these people.

Rocky & Apollo get together and watch some old footage of their fight and have a heart to heart with one another.

This was a brilliant scene with both stars shining brightly in it. 

Carl Weathers should've won an Academy Award on the strength of this scene alone and Stallone wasnt too shabby either. 

Excellent work by both of these fine actors.

They have a press conference for the Creed/Drago fight and it's all fun and laughs for Creed until he's called a "has-been." 

The music they play at the 20:10 mark when they show Drago on camera was perfect for what was going to transpire later on.

That Grand Hotel that's hosting the fight is freaking beautiful. 

Forget a war. I want to find a fine woman and make a little love in that luxurious palace. 

Creed has all kinds of goodies in his dressing room. 

Somebody sent him or maybe he sent it to himself, a fruit basket with grapes. Someone even sent him a cablegram. Is that shit even still around? I'm too lazy to check.

Creed's getting ready for his comeback fight when Balboa tries talking some sense into him about how he should postpone the fight. 

Creed doesn't want to and is afraid that someone else will come along and "flatten this bum" before he gets the chance to, taking away his last chance at glory.

Creed's biggest fight wasn't with Rocky or Drago; It was with himself.

The ladies in the fighter's lives exchange pleasantries. 

That's mighty thoughtful of the lovely ladies. Unfortunately, their husbands won't be as generous to each other.

Welp, if Apollo's going to go out, at least he's going to go out in style with James Brown performing "Living In America," with showgirls shaking their bon-bons and giant paper mache planes hanging from the rafters. 

I have to say that this man knows how to party.

Even Drago's impressed. He's like, "I must still break you but damn, that James Brown joint's funky."

You know you want to get on down with your bad self right now, Drago.

That ring announcer has one hell of a mustache. Even Rollie Fingers would be green with envy.

Question: Why didn't Apollo's trainer, Duke, train him for the fight and not Rocky? Maybe he knew Apollo was in way over his head or maybe he didn't want to do it. I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine.

No wonder why Drago didn't talk much. He sounds like that androgynous robot that Rocky has at his crib.

Creed should've known this guy was all business by that dap he just gave him when the Russian's hands didn't even flinch.

Drago was doing a great job of suckering Creed in by playing to the "big, slow lug" stereotype. Then, when Creed started feeling himself, he went in for the kill, figuratively and literally.

Creed ends up getting crushed the rest of the 1st round as Drago starts taking liberties by punching him after the bell. 

Rocky wants to stop the fight but Apollo makes him promise not to, no matter what happens. 

Creed glances over at his wife who's looking on very nervously as he holds up his fist and heads back into impending doom.

Drago picks up right where he left off as the ref tries to intervene but is pushed aside by Drago. 

Duke begs Rocky to throw in the towel but Apollo yells out, "NO." 

It wouldn't have mattered anyway as the next punch Drago throws at him lays him out for good.

There's so much pandemonium in this scene and it's beautifully done. 

Drago's declared the winner and his English greatly improves from where it was a few minutes ago.

He states that he cannot be beaten and if Apollo just so happens to die, he dies as him and Rocky stare each other down while Rocky's holding a lifeless Apollo in his arms. 

They're now attending Apollo's funeral. 

Rocky's speaking at his funeral but I can't hear a word of what he's saying. This was engineered very poorly. Either that or I need a new pair of headphones.

Rocky lays his heavyweight championship belt on Creed's casket.

Then he announces that he's fighting Drago and a press conference is called.

They really played up that whole US vs. Russia shit. 

I must say that Mrs. Balboa's riding around in style as she pulls up to her home while her car is surrounded by reporters asking her how she feels about the upcoming fight between Drago and her husband.

I don't know why they're asking her because she doesn't know shit.

Rocky pulls up in that badass car. 

Man, that thing sounds like it has some serious horsepower. VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!

He finds a waiting Adrian and they talk about the upcoming fight when out of the blue she tells Rocky that he can't win.

Now when did this bitch turn into Mickey?!

She was Mrs. You-Can-Do-Anything-Rock in the last few sequels but when there's some serious adversity for the first time in a long time, she changes up her tune. 

SMH at you, Adrian.

Oh, that's a Lamborghini. Badass cars and music. Oh, how I miss the 1980's.

Balboa takes off. His next destination; Russia.

He's driving kinda fast though.

Don't get no ticket, Stallion. (in a Apollo Creed font)

On the ride to the airport, he thinks about all the times he and Apollo had and even the last time he saw him alive in the ring.

Adrian takes her non-committal ass to bed. Gone, girl.

Even though he and Adrian didn't see eye to eye during that last convo, he still thinks about her on the ride there as well.

Oops, my bad! 

Rocky wasn't heading the the airport. He was just driving around the streets at night very fast. I guess he had to get out and clear his mind.

Rocky has a talk with his son about his upcoming fight. 

He admits to his son that he gets a little scared when he steps into the ring. His son wishes him good luck as I see a big ass Sony walkman sitting on his nightstand. 

Man, I miss those things. They were built like tanks it seemed. 

The score to this movie is doing some serious bumping. 

The music's so 1980's but it's perfect in every sense.

I don't know about you but when I'm headed to Russia to fight a big Russian guy, I just can't do it without Survivor.

Slides cassette tape in my Sony walkman as I head out for my morning run in -33 degree weather. 

I see Paulie's still his chipper self as the trio arrive in Russia.

The guy that comes to pick up the gentlemen looks like a bad guy from an episode of Inspector Gadget.

I mentioned trio earlier. Rocky and Paulie are joined by Duke, Apollo's longtime trainer & mentor.

They arrive at a cabin away from everything so Rocky can focus on the task at hand.

Paulie's giving them all kinds of grief about the "accommodations." 

Apparently, the guy has grown quite accustomed to the wining and dining that Rocky's fight career as afforded them.

All I got to say to him is, "tough titty."

Duke goes upstairs to speak to Rock and puts his mind at ease. 

Now that's one helluva pep talk! 

You see Adrian?! That's how you do it, ma!

Somebody needs to get her some Bob Proctor tapes or something.

Now here's a contrast in training styles.

Here you have Rocky just using the outdoors as his personal own Gold's Gym while Drago has a state-of-the-art elliptical climber with all sorts of gadgery attached with it.

Drago also has the use of certain sports technology drugs to still a little bit of jargon from Flex Wheeler.

I'm betting that Balboa's running "gear" as well but he's using that down-in-the-trenches old school way of thinking & training.

Drago's also using fake plates from what I see. Who is he? Brad Castlebury?

Drago's chopping down sparring partners as Balboa's chopping down trees.

I got a question for Rocky though. 

What did the tree ever do to you, my brother?

It's very pretty out that way with all the snow which looks like it's starting to melt.

Speaking of pretty, here we see Adrian. I knew that little mama would come around. 

Judging by her freaky history, I think she just wanted to come and was fresh out of Duracell so she hopped on a plane to see her man.

Aww shit! Things are about to kick up now with that John Cafferty "Hearts On Fire" song. 

This makes me want to go out and run in freezing cold temperatures and do log presses right about now. 

They show Drago getting a shot filled with his special "Popeye spinach elixir." 

I'm pretty sure it's just a B12 shot. (in a Roger Clemens font)

Rocky started running so fast that he caused his chaperone's car to crash. The guy got out on foot to try and keep up with Balboa but he didn't last one second.

Drago might be enhanced but the man's working his ass off and you have to commend him for that.

I like how they incorporated the "Gonna Fly Now" theme with the Cafferty song at the end. Perfect blend.

Rocky climbs the top of a snowy mountain and yells, RICOlAAAAAAAAAAA! No, he yelled DRAGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Well, now it's put up or shut up time as fight night is finally here.

Drago's last encounter earned him a one cool nickname "Death From Above." 

I like that dire heartbeat music they play as Paulie's having a talk with Rock on the way to the ring.

He thanks Rocky for all he has done for him and kisses him on the cheek.

Awwww. That proves Paulie does have a heart even though he ends up taking it back minutes later. Then he tells Rocky to go knock that bum's teeth out. Same ole' Paulie. I can love it.

Wow! They have an actual chain-link fence as an entrance for the fighters. 

Haven't these folks ever heard of a door? You know, they got them for sale down at your nearest Lowe's or Home Depot.

I've seen prisoners with more freedom then these fighters have right now.

Drago's being led to the ring by men with torches. 

Torches? Is this a boxing fight or the 2024 Olympics?

Drago had more smoke in his entrance then The Undertaker.

Drago with the fireworks in his intro stealing a page from Apollo Creed's book. I think he got inspired by the late great heavyweight during that last fight.

We all need a man like Duke in our corners. NO PAIN! NO PAIN!

Rocky's getting pounded early on. He's getting chopped like he did that tree earlier.

Rocky with some gut punches. Rock? Bro? It's not working and as you can see, he's laughing. You might want to switch over to something else.

Rocky gets knocked down.

Rocky answers the count and receives more punishment from the younger fighter.

The 1st round concludes as Drago gives Balboa a powerful shove right back into his corner after the bell.

The 2nd round starts as the big Russian picks up right where he left off. Drago literally picks Rocky up and throws him to the floor.

Rocky gets up and gets knocked to the floor for his troubles.

Rocky gets back up again as Drago delves out more punishment. 

Rocky's had enough and opens up with a right hook that cuts open the Russian's left eye as Duke screams out, "HE'S CUT!"

Rocky with a big time comeback in the 2nd round. 

The bell sounds and Rocky's still wailing away on Drago. He even takes him down with a slam to the floor. I guess he learned a little something from Thunderlips in Rocky III after all.

Now we got ourselves a battle and even though Rock's still taking punishment, he keeps coming back for more. NO PAIN!

Drago's frustration is growing as are his supporters as the rounds go by.

Drago's eyes look bad. 

It's almost like he's growing weaker while Balboa's growing stronger because he looks rejuvenated over in his corner.

Just as soon as I said that, Ivan knocks Rocky's ass back to the canvas but he gets back up.

Oooh at that one punch. You could see the blood spew out of Rocky's mouth after he got punched.

I'd hate to be sitting in the front row for that.

Rocky may or may not be winning the fight but he's won the crowd over for sure.

Duke with some last words of encouragement to Rock as he heads back in there for one more round.

Rock lured Drago into him and made him comfortable and now he's going end for the kill.

Rocky with the knockdown. TIMBERRRRRRR!!!!

Uhh and here comes lame ass Adrian. Now she wants a hug.

If I was Rocky, I would've told her, 

"Naw! You didn't believe in me so you're not leaving with me. Yo Brigitte?! Lets go baby. You're leaving with a winner tonight."

Rocky gives a speech to the crowd.

Duke has tears streaming down his face. Either it's from the speech or he's just sweating. 

He's sweating more then Shaq at the free throw line in a game 7.

Rock shows love to his kid during the speech.

You know, it just dawned on me why his kid had so much disdain for his father in the later films.

And it's not just because he was always on the road and wasn't around as much. It's because Rocky went from being a winner to a loser.

I mean, if he's not around, he's going to make sure that his kid stays laced with gifts to keep him entertained.

Rocky will treat him with money, walkmans, stereos and PS5's or in his case that plain ass Nintendo where Bowser just jumps up & down and blows hot fire at you. 

He just looked at his old man as a loser afterwhile and never did quite respect him as much because Rocky's son was more in love with the lifestyle that they led then he was his father.

Well, more on that in another post.

Cues up Hearts On Fire in the Nakamichi Dragon cassette deck as we roll the credits on this post.

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