May the New Year Bring You Memes, Joy, & Happiness!

Goodbye 2024!!! ⚡😁🖕 Don't let the door hit you in the ass!

It's me again, __Lightning Bolt⚡, with another droll edition of Meme-ing Madness!

Trump's election, Diddy's arrest, and Nostradamus's dire predictions shouldn't discourage you!

2025 is going to be a great year!!!

I'd like to think so, anyway, not that there already haven't been complications. New Years Eve is over; New Years Day is almost over; and I'm still not hosting any orgies yet!

<sigh>

That gives you an indication of how shitty 2024 was.

My contact list of Dionysus worshippers plummeted.

But let's forget the past and concentrate on Now.

As usual when I present this bullshit, I'm honest about the ordeal ahead. Here's the substandard...

____W A R N I N G___

This humor is obnoxious, foul, fulsome, loathsome, vile, disagreeable, detestable, dominating, brackish, mucky, yucky, and, of course, __shocking. It is lascivious to the point of being crude and might be considered perverted by some people. They shouldn't be here.

It is for external use only; avoid contact with your tongue.

There can be no excuse for this, but excuses abound. Who knows why Vocal hasn't banned me; someone's asleep at the wheel.

Reading this decadence WILL STUNT YOUR GROWTH.

Have fun!

⚡😁👍

⚡_______________⚡

#1- — Still Recovering from Christmas

Santa made a list, yes, but he only keeps a permanent record of the naughty ones, not the nice ones. That's what they don't elucidate in that damn song.

I have all kinds of Tea on Santa that I published it in my Christmas Top Story. Check it.

⚡_______________⚡

#2- — Still Wanting a Nut

There is just so much to see here! ⚡😁👆

"In pain?"

Kinda. I'm constipated and my guts are churning.

"Can't sleep?"

Not at the moment, no. Mt. Dew is charged with caffeine and, you know....

"Feeling low?"

You got me there.

"Why not try CBD oil?"

No thanks. 🤷⚡

I'd rather smoke weed.

Look at that middle sign though. 👆

It says, "WILD BIRD SEED" and "WILD BIRD NUTS."

Aren't those the same thing?

According to Google...

"Most birds do not have penises."

If they have no penises, how do these birds nut?

🤔🤔🤔 🤷‍♂️

Now that part about "MONKEY NUTS"? That makes sense. Of course they cum.

Monkeys are just one evolutionary twist away from being me.

I don't think this shop is necessarily a scam. I just wonder if they know something about birds that Google doesn't.

<gasp> 😨🤯

You don't think Google could be wrong about something, do you?

⚡_______________⚡

#3- — Feeling Bisexual, Multitalented, & Hungry

First, we saw that Pain Relief Clinic with its slow snow-fucking.

Then came the Nut Centre.

Now this place?!? 👆

Every business on this street seems to have been designed to make a man horny!

⚡_______________⚡

#4- — Now Wanting Some Ass

It takes real attention to detail to properly cook this corn. Most people pop theirs to a temperature of 98.6.

I like to take mine up to 100 degrees to simulate that really hot ass.

⚡_______________⚡

#5- — Still Needing to See Some Butt

An ass that fine is a myth.

I still like it, though.

⚡_______________⚡

#6- — Now Wanting Weed

It's like inhaled slipperiness for my brain.

😙💨💨💨💨💦🧠💦

⚡_______________⚡

We Pause Now for this PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT....

It's actually more like Public Service Euphoria.

If you are a person (or monkey) who doesn't like to smoke, remember it's the thought that counts.

Wait...

... 😙💨💨💨💨

What was that thought again???

🤔🤔🤔🤷‍♂️

I forget.

Have I done a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT yet?

🤷⚡

This one actually is more for me than the general public anyway...

The more naked people involved, the more moons to yell at!

And we've already established weed works as lubrication, so we all knows where this night is headed.

Maybe we can get an orgy started after all!

⚡_______________⚡

#7- — Seriously Wanting some Pussy Now

Vocal, I beg forgiveness if publishing that reflected cunt is against your policy! Please don't ban me again! Just don't approve this story and I'll delete this meme!

I really did work on self-improvement those seven times you previously banned me because I 'accidently' published pictures of my dick.

⚡_______________⚡

#8- — SO Aroused Now & Needing Fellatio

Fuck this shit!

I thought we already established with those earlier memes that I need ass and/or pussy?

I need head!

I need a nut!

Never mind. I'm sick of the neglect!

Give me a minute.⚡

⚡⚡

...

<⚡⚡crackling with electricity, going fast & hard⚡⚡⚡⚡>

...

Fuck you, DON'T sign!

🥴🤤🤤

I did!

⚡_______________⚡

A Second (?) PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

It really does take the edge off my static discharge.

Keep in mind, however, I can still perform if you're in need.

I'm a superhero not just on the streets, but also in the bedroom.

This __lightning can strike thrice!

⚡_______________⚡

#9- — Thinking More Now about 2025

According to Nostradamus, the world will likely end in 2025. There will be "cruel wars in Europe", and a devastating asteroid heading our way, and an “ancient plague that will be worse than enemies.”

There will be volcanic eruptions and catastrophic flooding in Brazil.

“From the cosmos, a fireball will rise, a harbinger of fate, the world pleads,” he wrote. “Science and fate in a cosmic dance.”

==> Calamity <==

Why he didn't just call it a 'shitshow', I do not know.

But basically, we're fucked.

⚡😎👍

I recommend smoking weed & masturbating often.

You never know what toke or stroke might be your last!

⚡_______________⚡

#10- — Rechecking My Temporary Survival Methods for 2025

These 👆 will tide me over with my personal problems until the worldwide catastrophes start.

⚡_______________⚡

Today's PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Have I already done a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT?

...

🤔🤔🤔🤷‍♂️

I don't know.

Do I repeat myself because I have a shitty memory?

I don't know if it's true or not, but I was told by a specialist that SPERM stands for "Some Pot Erases Relevant Memories".

⚡_______________⚡

#11- — Aware Some of You Have Fallen in Lust with Me because of My Electric Sense of Humor

(you're not the first)

I'll get you revved up.

Imagine me saying...

'Take off all your clothes!'

👅

⚡_______________⚡

#12- — Suddenly Remembering Even a Seamstress Who Can Turn Me On

Just seeing that zippered filth gets me aroused all over again!

Suddenly I feel like singing! Here's an impromptu song to fit the moment...!

🎼🎵🎶 Winnie the Pooh

Winnie likes cooze

Smutty little cubby, he loves to fuck

He's Winnie the Pooh

Winnie loves cooze

Chubby stubby nutty old bear

⚡🫤

<sigh>

I'm horny all over again.

⚡_______________⚡

#13- — Thinking You⚡😁🫵Deserve a Gift to Start this New Year

Men, Women, & Trans! Daddy is on his way!

And you won't believe all the stuff that I'm going to deliver for 2025!

Santa ain't got nothing on me!

⚡_______________⚡

#14- — Thinking I May Have Instigated an Orgy After All!

Yeah, I'm poor. But the greatest gifts are those given to genitals!

Am I right?

I've got sooooooo many of those gifts to give!

Text messages are starting to come in!

The night isn't over yet!

We'll see what happens!!!

⚡_______________⚡

Okay. I hope you enjoyed watching me work myself up! I'm about to smoke more cannabis, have some cookies, and get my life together.

Here's hoping when the catastrophes abound that YOU AND I ARE THE LAST PEOPLE LEFT ON EARTH!

🎇🎉🎊🎇🎆🎆🎉✨

______________ Bolt ⚡

More!!! ⚡😁👇