Vampire Flu

Man flu is tough when you're a vampire.

Did you think the undead can't get ill? Ha. Think again. Why not? On what logic are you basing that assumption?

Surely all he has to do is feed on someone who's unwell, and he could catch what they have, no?

Immortality doesn't make you impervious to suffering. It just means you suffer longer. And probably alone, to boot.

Picture him, now: shuddering in his crypt, bits of tissue stuck up his pointed nose, which is pinched and pink. Misery is carved around his ancient eyes, and lethargy weighs on his limbs.

A cold is worse for a vampire, in some ways, than it is for a mortal man. Look at it this way: a vampire is known for his irresistable charm. Nobody is suave when they sneeze. The common cold, then, basically threatens his entire identity.

Can he tolerate human remedies, like hot honey and lemon drinks, chicken noodle soup, and over the counter medicines? I hardly think so.

His crypt is dank and chilly. Hardly conducive to his recovery.

He considers hunting, entering a human house and making good use of their blankets and fluffy slippers... but they will never invite him in, will they? They won't want to catch what he's got.

So he shuffles about in the dark, aching all over. He clutches his cape close, shivering, fangs chattering. Moments later, he casts it away, sweating. Feeling hungry, thirsty, and terribly sorry for himself. A nice long hot draught from a freshly Lemsipped victim would be just the ticket.

He thinks of it, how he would corner a victim, compel them to go into a chemist and then... Wait, don't you need hot water? How long would be the optimum amount of time to wait before biting?

He scowls, knowing that nobody on the Vampyr Council will be looking into this.

In any case, it all feels like such a lot of effort, and he feels completely drained right now.

He wishes, at times like these, that he'd got around to getting himself a pet human. A companion. Human familiars were all the rage for a while, but the risk of exposure means there's a lot of red tape, and frankly, he could just never be bothered.

He shambles back to his coffin, resolving to Sleep until the bug is out of his system.