The Little Asshole
Tuesday 3rd December, Story #338/366
By the time Karl came in from the garden, stamping mud off his boots, Sandy was a gibbering mess. She'd imagined him strangled with tinsel, or stabbed with a kitchen knife.
"Hey..." He pulled her close and mumbled reassurances against her hair. She pointed. His gaze fell on Jingles, and his face creased in mild confusion.
"Why didn't you leave it in the attic?" he said. "Are you trying to recreate the scene? There's no n-"
Sandy interrupted him with a wail.
"No!" she sobbed. "I didn't!" I thought you did, and then I thought... I thought..."
He waited for her to say the crazy thing, holding her like china. Watching her like a pony that might bolt, or haul off and thump him with a nutcracker.
Between hiccoughs, Sandy dabbed her eyes and in a shaky voice, asked him to swear he hadn't brought the creepy elf back downstairs.
"We have to get rid of it," she said, as firmly as she was able. "Not just stick it upstairs. Take it far away and burn it."
"Okay," he said, rubbing her back and patting as if she really were a tightly wound horse. "Okay. I'll take it tonight.
"No!" she shrieked, beginning to unravel. "It has to be now! I can't be in the house with it anymore, I just can't!"
"But..."Karl frowned. "I have that interview. It's really important."
Sandy tried desperately to remember which job he was going for. Guilt pricked at her, and she didn't want to ask. "Oh," she said, "Of course."
Sandy sat on the sofa facing Jingles, her mouth set in a grim line.
"Babe...?" Karl sounded worried now.
"I'm not moving. I'm keeping the little asshole where I can see him until you get back. Hurry, okay?"
She didn't see Karl leave. Jingles stared back at her. The minutes crawled by. Sandy watched the elf all day, and it didn't move even once. Not even a twitch. Not even a wink.
When it was almost time to collect the children, she called Karl, still without taking her eyes off Jingles. Karl's phone was off. Can he still be in that interview?
She called several people to ask if they'd collect the kids, but no joy.
What am I going to do?
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L.C. Schäfer
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Comments (14)
Something tells me Jingles will manage to rise from the flames like a phoenix despite the method they use to rid themselves of him.
Throw him in the fireplace! Wait that didn’t work on Twilight Zone - try the microwave - uh, no. That little asshole is all powerful! 😹😹😹😹 hilarious and worrisome.
I approve wholeheartedly of Sandy’s plan! But now I fear some trouble has befallen Karl
Oh! Not what I was thinking! But the suspense is crazy!
NOPE, no creepy elves allowed in our home, ever!!! LOL, perhaps one day I will write about an experience my daughter had when she was a child with one. Your title drew me in right away. I loved this story!
Duh, just bring Jingles with her and collect the kids. Or just forget the kids and watch Jingles, lol
That little asshole is the worst. I have one in my house and he stares at me all the time! Plus he commands we move him each night or else… great story LC
I can’t imagine myself staring at a creepy lil bastard all day. I’d have taken care of him already. What did he do, though?
This is creepy as hell! I would have moved house and left the elf behind!
This can’t possibly end well!
Ok, that lil bastard did it ….I know he did. Not sure what , but if it’s bad it was him
Little asshole indeed, at least someone is.
Hmmmm.. The little asshole has connections, perhaps?
I wouldn't take my eyes off that creepy little SOB either. Who knows what it will do next? Other than make Sandy seem insane, of course...