Humor

How Do We Tell My Kids, I Believe in Santa Claus?
*Only Semi-Autobiographical* Santa Claus is Holly Jolly and all of the fixins. Never does the man fail to put a smile on a deserving child's face. Spreading joy and wonder throughout the many realms. Unceasing the man is, perhaps to a fault. He is neverending, some say he existed before humankind even walked the planet and roamed with the dinosaurs. Dinosaurs celebrating Christmas never really got that big. Could you imagine a Jurassic Christmas Parade? The awestruck feeling left behind on that paleontological Yule Tide festivity. The holiday has been a fixture of many cultures for a Millenium, offering consistent Christmas cheer. A constant fixture many people look forward to, some all year long. This holds true in my house. Quinn and Gypsy love this time of year and celebrate with enthusiasm.
By FRANK? Piccolella3 years ago in Fiction
On the streets of... #9
'How the hell did you know?' I asked. We went down to the canteen of the hospital because I was craving a decent cup of coffee. Rourke wanted French fries. He made me pay.
By John H. Knight3 years ago in Fiction
From Eunch To Emperor
Chapter 1. To be cut off as a eunuch? "This one's dead?" "Not dead, still alive." "Cut or not?" "Into the clean room where not to cut? Where is your work ethic?"
By Daniel Zhu3 years ago in Fiction
Zhane & Vitani Chapter 5
Zhane came home and flopped down on his bed after a long day from school and overheard his mom talking to Vitani about the incident at the mall.
By Kylecovey Smith3 years ago in Fiction
On the streets of... #8
It was barely lunchtime and we already solved our first case. Hell, I already solved my first case, Rourke had me do all the work.
By John H. Knight3 years ago in Fiction
Planet Tetro ~ Page 98
I gathered myself while Draco was asking everyone how they were doing . Once again he recommended for us to escape the battle while we could . He also made sure to thank us for our contribution to the fight . He seemed sincere and grateful . Although he said if we’re at our limits then we should escape . He's a very thoughtful leader . He's the youngest of us all but he definitely carries himself in a mature manner . I'm starting to notice why everyone in the village holds him to such a high esteem .
By Terrence3 years ago in Fiction
The Ice King
Long ago in the faraway Northern kingdom of Arendale, lived a kind and honorable king and queen. They ruled their kingdom together with fairness and justice, while also caring for their two young sons. When their oldest, Elias, was only a few months old, the king and queen made a startling discovery: the little prince possessed a strange and mystical power. He could control the weather, creating snow flurries and ice upon a whim. Their younger son, Andrew, had no such powers, but always looked up to his older brother with love, admiration and wonder. The king and queen were in awe of Elias' power as well, but also feared for their oldest. The young prince could not fully control his abilities, and his parents were worried that he would accidentally injure himself or his brother. There was also the possibility - should word of his powers spread - that villains may conspire to abduct the prince, to use his powers for their own nefarious purposes. For these reasons, they tried to conceal their son's talents from the kingdom, and discourged him from using them in the open.
By Natalie Gray3 years ago in Fiction
Tour Guide to Tartarus
The alarm clock repeated its digital scream at full volume until Eurydice dug it out of its hiding space under her shoe rack and slammed the button on top. Red numbers on the front told her it was 5:42 in the morning. Or rather, that's what time it would be, if Tartarus had such things "mornings" and "the passage of time." Eurydice put the alarm clock down and it started blaring again. She pressed the button to silence it, turned on the weak light bulb in her cell, and examined the alarm clock more closely.
By Deanna Cassidy3 years ago in Fiction
Apples For Bobbin
There once was cat who was known far and wide for his truly bizarre obsession with bright red apples. He couldn't keep away from them no matter how much he tried and nobody ever knew why, except for I. It all began when he was a kitten and boy was he small, no bigger than my mitten. He had been left in a box on the side of the road for no one wanted this stray from whoever's abode. The only thing to keep him company was a bright red apple that glistened and sparkled which gave him the sense that he was never truly alone.
By Toby Heward3 years ago in Fiction
Church of Close Enoughism: The Great Acts of Mediocrity (4-7)
When not working on his day job, playing RPGs, or writing stories, Dr. Laurence J. R. Nix, works to compile and translate ancient texts with intent to reconstruct the fabled Tome of Divine Adequacy. Presented here are the 4th through 7th Great Acts of Mediocrity. The first three Acts can be found via Dr. Nix's author profile.
By Laurence J. R. Nix3 years ago in Fiction
Church of Close Enoughism: The Great Acts of Mediocrity (1-3)
When not working on his day job, playing RPGs, or writing stories, Dr. Laurence J. R. Nix, works to compile and translate ancient texts with intent to reconstruct the fabled Tome of Divine Adequacy. Dr. Nix is both the most learned and the only religious scholar within the Church of Close Enoughism.*
By Laurence J. R. Nix3 years ago in Fiction
The Terrible Fate of Gideon Dormer: Part 2
I thought I had left myself enough time. Enough time to get ready before dropping past Alistair’s room under the pretence of picking something up. I knew I wanted to wash quickly but that wouldn’t take twenty minutes! I did, however, forget to factor in Mother who I passed on my way up. She smiled at me, exchanged the usual niceties and when we said good night, I assumed that would be its natural conclusion. Apparently not.
By T.A. Seed3 years ago in Fiction