Potlucks are Unappealing
for this awkward woman
Potlucks are Unappealing
I grew up an Upper Midwest girl. I’ve eaten my share of creamy pasta salads, creamy potato salads, casseroles drowning in cans of creamed soups and desserts made with enough sugar to choke a horse. Now I’m a grown-up with a different pallet (not about creamy anything), nutritional considerations and a concern for hygiene, as well as a consideration for appearing curteous. I also have mobility issues, so find buffet-style serving and eating situations very awkward. All of this leads me to usually not eat anything at attended events. Not that many things don’t smell or look appealing, but I don’t know the ingredients, or how it was treated before being presented upon the buffet table of choices. For instance, I completely stopped taking part in potluck dinners after attending a family function where I knew the items, mainly of a creamy content, had been left sitting out on a table, exposed to the heat and flys, for hours before when we were told food would be served. Of course, we attended with our own dish-to-pass, made to our own dietary specifications and hygienic standards. That is what we ate. So did many others. Yes, I am a picky eater, but …
Ingredients
I have dietary restrictions. My family and I eat gluten-free and are lactose intolerant. Plus, I don’t care to eat foods doused in oil or unidentified fats. Many people suffer life threatening allergies to certain ingredients. Thank goodness, I haven’t discovered any myself, but the effects of eating certain foods containing certain ingredients can be unpleasant.
Hygienics
I don’t know how the food was prepared, if the chef or utensils were clean, or if the food was treated properly. Was it chicken or a creamy salad left out too long? Were the vegetables washed? Whose fingers were in the dip? Am I going to get Salmonella today?
Taste
Many things I just don’t like. In the past, I have chosen too many things that look wonderful, but then I sat down to eat and realized it was made with canned tuna. I despise canned tuna. It feels more rude to fill a plate with stuff just to throw most of it away, than it does to not take a plate at all.
Inconvenience
I have mobility issues. Since I can no longer make the trek through a food line, or carry a plate back to a seat or table without spilling everything on the ground or on another person encountered in the mingling, or eat the food without making a mess, I choose not to participate. If I do want food, I have to rely on whatever the person brings me to eat. Not only is the situation awkward for having to rely on another to wait on me, I then must feel obligated to eat what’s brought to me so as not to be rude.
…. am I a snob?
I’m not trying to be a snob, just trying to not be rude, so if the event is “bring a dish to pass,” I will most likely pass on attendance. I understand the ease and convenience for embracing the potluck concept, and I even realize many people greatly enjoy such an event. I don’t mean to make anyone else question their choices or enjoyment, it’s just not for me. I think it’s my issue (one of many).
Thanks for reading! How do you feel about potlucks? I mean, I am good with a small group of friends getting together for a cook-out, but when it comes to large gatherings, or reunions, or whatever, I have issues. Do you?
About the Creator
KJ Aartila
A writer of words in northern WI with a small family and a large menagerie.
My Substack
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Comments (6)
My mom addresses my siblings and I as food snobs. I'll admit it's hard not to be a food snob especially when Your family members cook so well, especially for people that have do work around one's allergies. Since one of my siblings is allergic, there are some cultures which present more danger than others. The Vietnamese, for instance, use a lot of cooking oils that would cause my sibling to go into shock. Hence why when we go out to eat at certain restaurants, we either made sure ahead of time or ask to make sure about how things are cooked, like if there's a separate stove/grill or two to prevent cross contamination. Here, in the cartoon Arthur there's a character named Binkey. He's sort of like a bulldog and often times made out to be a bully, but becomes more conscientious of his character as the series goes on. Less, I digress, Binkley has a peanut allergy and the show tackles this by addressing his dietary needs and wants. He can't eat at his favorite Chinese restaurant anymore since they tend to use a lot of peanut oil. Yet, at the end, he surprises his parents with a Chinese restaurant that doesn't use peanut oil at all so he may enjoy "3 egg rolls (goodness, why does my brain remember that from my childhood)." Now, I will say this, a lot of people cook things with too much sauces, creams, and sugars. We went over to a friend's house on July 3rd, and the taco salad, grape pie dessert, even the meat was a little too sweet, and You could taste the cream. It was pretty heavy. I don't know how one lady ate the food being that she's vegan, but she loved the Grape desert (which had too much vanilla yogurt imo). As my dad has gotten older he's also gotten less tolerant of lactose, sadly he's passed that trait onto me. Not as much discomfort for me as it is for him, but we avoid lactose containing milk out of courtesy for those around us (cheese and yogurt seems to be just fine). My mother was always picky when it came to other people's food cause a lot of people don't keep their houses clean, and therefore it's difficult for them to keep their food clean. So, I get it. There's not a whole lot of other people's food I eat. I remember in elementary our teacher told us about a family reunion where one of her family members stirred up the kool-aid by sticking her arm in the container, and when she pulled her arm out the part that was in looked like it just washed all of the dirt off of it. She still drinks kool-aid, but only kool-aid that she's seen been made. Besides, when it comes to potlucks, the biggest compliment I receive is not having to take any leftovers home. Do, I like them? Yes, however I wait for everybody else to get their plates first cause I don't like waiting in line, and I'm also a voracious eater. I tend to eat 2.5-3 plates while most people are still working on 1. Instead of being hungry watching other people eat after I've already eaten, I'd rather wait to eat last so may appetite dies down.
As pastors, potlucks have been a part of daily living for us. There was a time when food sensitivities required I abstain & now, having been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, I have to be a bit more careful. But it's more than just not participating. It feels like being left out of something that matters to others--as though you're not worthy of being included. I applaud you for doing what you feel is right & feel for you for that sense of exclusion.
Yeah, I’m not a potluck fan for the some of the same reasons. You’re not alone. Good article.
I still like potluck and buffet but I can understand your reasoning. Good article.
Splendid and delighted that you shared a relatable story!!!❤️❤️💕
Thanks for sharing ❤️❗