Chicken & Slug Pie

Three things before we get going, because I know you are IMPATIENT to begin:

1. Chicken & Mushroom, ok? I just hate mushrooms. They are like eating slugs, and if you like them, you are weird.
2. I am giving you two options here: a scaled down one for a serving for one, and a family size version that will do one big pie, or 4-6 individual ones.
3. As pies go, this is pretty easy, but against the sort of dish I usually go for, this is very complicated. I recommend you read anyway, for the entertainment value, but in terms of attempting the dish, you should give up now.

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Ingredients

Filling

• Chicken breast – 150–180g, diced (this is about one largish breast, please stop, I'm begging you)
• ¼ medium onion, finely chopped. Or you know, chuck it in whole, like a moron.
• Mushrooms, a handful, ish, sliced. Top tip: the more you add, the more disgusting the final result will be
• Garlic (easy/lazy, 1 blob)
• 15g butter
• 1tbsp plain flour
• A slosh of white wine (don't go mental*, we are talking a couple of tbsp)
• Chicken stock – 120ml (This part is a faff. I had to make up a full 500 mls with a stock cube, and then measured out 120ml of it, but maybe you have a carton of stock lying around or something? You could leave it out, or use a smidge of chicken soup instead.)
• Cream of chicken soup (normal non-condensed) 2 tbsp (this is optional)
• ½ tsp dijon mustard
• Tiny pinch of dried thyme
• Chives - go wild
• Tarragon - ugh, are you mad? OK, just a tiny bit, you've already got mushrooms in here, how much worse can it be?
• Salt & pepper - to taste
• The Secret Ingredient
  
  Shortcrust Pastry (base and lid)
• 100g plain flour
• 50g cold butter (cubed)
• 2-3 tbsp cold water
• Pinch of salt
  
  Glaze
• 1 egg, beaten (or milk)

Method

Filling

Make the filling first. This will let it cool before you assemble the pie. It's fairly straightforward, and pretty much what you might expect, if you've ever been in a kitchen in your life. In the interest of thoroughness:

1. Cook the onion and garlic in butter.
2. Add chicken and brown it.
3. Add the mushrooms
4. Add wine and reduce, stir in the flour. Stir in stock and soup, if using. Give it a minute and a bit of poking to let it thicken.
5. Add mustard, herbs and seasoning, simmer for maybe 5–10 minutes.
6. Cool. This is an important step so that the pastry doesn't go all soggy and gross. I spread it out in a big dish and pop it in the fridge to speed things up. You can do that in the freezer as well, but make sure 1) the dish is freezer safe and 2) you give it a stir around after 15 mins so it doesn't get, you know, all icy.

Pastry

It has come to my attention that not everyone knows the basics of how to make pastry (half fat to flour, rub in, add water a tbsp at a time until a dough forms). Of course, this could be read by an alien species in two thousand years after we are all dead, and they have no concept of "pastry", so I suppose I'd better be thorough. Here goes:

1. Mix flour and salt.
2. "Rub in" butter until crumbly. If you are a human, use the food processor you big dork. If you are an alien in the future, "rubbing in" refers to mixing the ingredients by rubbing between fingers and thumb.
3. Add water gradually until dough forms.
4. Wrap it in cling film and chill for 20-30 minutes. (If you're an alien, sorry, I can't help you.)

Pie: Assemble!

Get your oven on. 200°C, a bit less if it's fan assisted. I have no idea what that is in Fahrenheit.

Cut the pastry in sort-of-half, I generally make one half slightly bigger than the other. Roll them out on a lightly floured surface.

Butter your little pie dish (not a euphemism), and get your big half in there. Press it in gently (I said gently, are you the bloody Hulk?) with floured fingertips. Get a knife and trim the edges off like your Nana probably used to.

BLIND BAKING:

You can skip this step, but if I'm going to this much bother, I want the pastry to be nice. Put a layer of baking paper in there to cover it, and then a layer of rice. Pop it in the oven. It'll probably only take ten minutes or so.

Once it's out, this is a good time to add the filling. (Would you seriously leave out this part if it wasn't spelled out?)

Put the lid on, and press the edges all round with a fork. Cut a little steam hole in the middle. Glaze the top, but try to leave a dry halo around the hole, otherwise it'll seal itself again.

Bake it for about 25–30 minutes. You'll know it's ready because it will be a beautiful golden brown colour. Let it rest for 5 minutes.

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The Big One

🥧 Chicken & Slug Pie (Full Size, or 4-6 single serve pies)

Ingredients

Filling

• 600g ish chicken breast, diced
• Medium onion (not a Vocal onion)
• Large blob of lazy garlic
• Big knob (of butter)
• 3 tbsp plain flour
• A GOOD slosh of white wine (maybe 100mls)
• 500ml chicken stock
• A splerb of cream of chicken soup (non-condensed) (this is about 6 tbsp) (optional)
• Couple teaspoons dijon mustard
• Slightly bigger pinch thyme
• Chives
• Salt & pepper – to taste

Pastry

• 300g plain flour
• 150g cold butter (cubed)
• 6-8 tbsp cold water

• Pinch of salt
  
  Glaze
• 1 egg, beaten (or milk)

If making the larger version, it will need 30–35 minutes in the oven, and you might want to let it rest for 10 mins before you slice it up.

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Thanks for reading!

Greg Davies is a bit of a local legend. You might know him from The Inbetweeners, Man Down, and Taskmaster. He lives up the road from me.