grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
My Male Role Model
I often think back to the day you were in jail, the day we first fought without me backing down because of the glass between us. The day I drove in a snowstorm to come see you and all you could ask for was if my brother was waiting in the van. He wasn’t, I should have listened to him when he told me not to bother. I often wonder if you remember what happened, what was said, and if you in fact ended up in PC for wanting to “kill yourself”. You see you have lied to me my whole life, and hurt me in a manner that I can’t seem to get around.
By Moon Child 5 years ago in Families
When You Lose Your Mama You Will Find Out Who Is The Realest In Your Tribe
When you lose your Mama you will find out who is the most real in your life and tribe. Through the tears, pain, frustration, and fear you will know who has your back. I lost my beloved mother on January 31st, 2020. My mother Donna Reese was a highly decorated activist and advocate for civil and disability rights. She passed away surrounded by family. I was on my knees holding her left hand until her last breath. That moment and experience was heartbreaking, surreal, bittersweet, devastating, and traumatic. My mom left a profound legacy and was loved by many with tons of love to give so many as well. Since losing my mother I began to look at life totally different on so many levels. I will forever miss her and I think about her each and every day. We had such a unique bond and were literally each other's number one fan. I had the best mom ever! I am so grateful to have experienced motherly love that will last with me for all of my days.
By Tammy Reese5 years ago in Families
the JARRETT story
To speak about Jarrett in a way that paints him out to be this ‘stellar young scholar’ is something that I think would even make him laugh, at least I hope it would. He was a cutie pie to the core! He had the cutest little dimples and I would always try to make him laugh or smile just so I could see his dimples light up the room.
By GÆRY SKYeWALKER5 years ago in Families
3rd Grade
I would not say that I had too many traumatic experiences throughout my childhood. I was a very content child that enjoyed spending time with my friends and family. I loved going to school every day to learn something new. In my family, I often got spoiled by my parents, grandpa, aunts and uncles, and even family friends. I always felt safe and happy. During this time, my mom and dad did drink. My mother was an alcoholic, but she was always a good mother to me and my brother. She used to ask me to pray that one day she will stop drinking because she wanted to be better. I took what she said to heart and I prayed every night. However, that is beside the point. My mom and dad had quite a few close friends that often came around and hung out with us. My parents trusted these friends with everything because they were like family. Never once did we fear or suspect things of them. Little did we know, the people who are closest to you, are the very ones that can harm you. I learned that in 3rd grade and this is my story.
By Nasasha Smith5 years ago in Families
Christmas Heartbreak and Hope
Christmas is a time of joy and giving, a time for happiness and miracles to happen. This Christmas Eve, however, my whole world came crashing down when I found out I have a small lump in my breast and after the New Year will be going in to be screened for Inflammation Breast Cancer. When I got the news, I stood staring at my phone, numb in shock and wanting to cry. I felt an overwhelming fear fill every part of my being. I stared at my children's presents through tears, knowing they needed to be wrapped, but feeling too numb and scared to do so. I knew I had to get through the night and make sure that their Christmas was not affected by this news. It took me nearly 6.5 hours to find the strength to move and wrap their presents from Santa. I have 5 children, ranging from 13 down to a 2 year old. My whole life I have always joked with my friends and family that I would die young. My whole life it has been my biggest fear. As the news hit me last night, all the possibilities- good and bad- came flooding in; i realized I was not afraid of the cancer itself or going through it. I survived being held hostage as someones wife, badly abused, beaten and raped for 5 years. I got this! But the reality that I may not live to see all my children grow up- that fear is one I cannot seem to squash. It is one that haunts me every time I look at them now. All I see is the possibility that in the future I may not be here with them. My heart breaks for them and I have spent all morning crying. I am constantly nauseated and my breast hurts. More than that, I want all of them to have a wonderful, bright future- a future I have always wanted to be a part of and see. I want to be a grandmother, and watch how their lives unfold and what careers they choose- to see if they pick what they tell me from the time they can talk or if they choose something else. I am a single mom, and my relationship with my siblings is strained at best. A few months ago, my doctor was concerned about the pain in my breast and I was supposed to get a mammogram. The fear of what they might find won out and I chickened out. I refused to go to the appointment, brushing it off as something that was not a reality. My siblings were less than comforting and helpful, stating I was being a drama queen- which is why now, 3 months later, with the reality being much stronger, I have decided to keep this from certain people in my life. I am writing to anyone out there today who has experienced something similar, or who has gone through this themselves- to get my voice heard, and maybe receive support and understanding. The darkness that now looms in my life, threatens every moment. I do not want my children experiencing this and I want to keep it from them as long as I can. I am struggling today to be filled with joy and hope for the new year with them. I feel the need to draw them close and never let them out of my sight- fearing I may not have that opportunity later. I know I need to move past it for them and make the most of my time with them- to let them know how much they are loved. But even knowing that this is what I must do, I cannot find a way past my fear and anxiety, the overwhelming numbness that now fills me with every moment. I watch my children playing, using their imagination and I am filled with pride and love for them. I am praying for a miraculous outcome-that they caught it in time, that I will survive it- so I am asking any and all readers to also pray with me.
By marion scott5 years ago in Families
Lyle
WHO MURDERED MY BROTHER LYLE? Who murdered my brother Lyle? Surely someone close to him because after all he was stabbed nine times; overkill. A fatal blow to the liver, so it read on a rough handwritten note given to my sister from one of the officers who had the unfortunate task of delivering the message that my brother was dead; murdered on his 28th birthday.
By Cheryl Barnette5 years ago in Families
A Mother's Gifts of Grief this Christmas
It's Christmas Eve and the first Christmas without my son and his father. I am keeping it together, mostly. I have been so busy working, looking for work, hiking, or playing in the snow, I have not had much time to grieve. I mean, I have been working in a retail store during Christmas, the music alone has made me want to slit my wrists. But I haven't thought about that. Not today, anyway.
By Tereson Dupuy5 years ago in Families
The Silent Writer
I always hoped the doctors were wrong. That he’d get older and talk like every other kid. Like normal kids. I’d tell him, whining won’t get you what you want words will. He’d try to talk, like open his mouth and hope words would come out. It hurt to watch him cry when they didn’t.
By myahh moné5 years ago in Families
The Struggle With 2020
Living in 2020 with mental illnesses. Talk about a wild ride. I'm a 30 year old female living with her fiancé and soon to be step daughter (every other weekend and when circumstances deem it necessary.) Many days I feel like I'm the only responsible adult in the whole dynamic. A viscous thought that I frequently feel guilty for. Other days I feel as though I'm failing more than everyone else around me. Mental illness can confuse you like that. Between financial difficulties, work troubles, and co-parenting squabbles I feel as though my brain is trying to work overtime without any fuel for even its normal work. My body doesn't seem to be doing much better than my brain either. My day to day battle just to feel like I'm surviving in the current climate seems more like a lose lose battle inside my own mind.
By SirenSavage5 years ago in Families
Holiday Without You
The tree is up, the fire is lit, the stockings are hung and if it were a picture, it would be the epitome of what a perfect Christmas should be. The holidays are a time of joy, love and laughter. A time where memories are created and traditions are born. Echos of the past that once brought smiles now bring silent tears. On the outside, all seems merry and bright, but when a loved one is missing on the holidays, pain and sorrow are all that's on the inside. How do you celebrate joy when someone you love is unable to celebrate too? And in the most permanent sense, they will never celebrate anything with you ever again. Before you get angry at me, and say “there is joy in heaven” or accuse me of being an atheist, I would like to say that I am a very Christian woman with a strong belief in life after death. God very much comes first in my life, but when grief takes over it is hard to feel anything else. It is hard to even be yourself. In the midst of your sorrow, life keeps charging on. You have no choice but to charge forward too. Putting on a smile when inside you are crying. Everyday you are going through the motions and just trying to get by from one day to the next, and with your best efforts facings all those “firsts” without them. You learn to master the art of looking OK and opening up just enough that no one questions what you are not telling. You learn to navigate with the pain hidden allowing just enough out to not look suspicious so that you can convince the world that you are healing. Heck, if you lie well enough you even began to convince yourself. And then, the holidays come. You feel lost, every decoration has a memory attached, every recipe, every song on the radio and every holiday movie. Suddenly, you are back at square one.
By Michelle Paiva5 years ago in Families
The christmas day horror
The following story is based on true events. Its a memory of a Christmas that I wont soon forget. It was a cold Christmas eve. I was about 9 or 10. My grandmother used to have family get togethers on Christmas eve every year. My mom and dad were divorced for almost my whole life, so I usually spent one or the other with my dad for the holiday. This year was Christmas eve. He was staying at my grandmother's at the time, Granny we all called her, after granny from the Beverly Hillbillies. There was a good crowd this year. Granny, Dad, me, my great grandmother, and some cousins. Granny had a finished basement with a bar and a pool table, so this is the area that the Christmas parties and just about any other function she would have would be held.
By Brad Souza5 years ago in Families
