The Bar for Fathers Is in Hell

Warning: I’m About to Be a Hater.

Listen, I tried to mind my business. I really did. But the internet wouldn’t let me. I was scrolling, just looking for a funny meme or a cute dog video, when suddenly—BAM. I got hit with the most unserious confession I’ve ever seen.

Damon Wayans Sr. casually admitting that he didn’t meet his own son until he was five weeks old. Not five hours. Not five days. FIVE. WEEKS.

At first, I thought, maybe I misread that. Maybe he was out of the country. Maybe he was in a coma. Maybe he was abducted by aliens and just got dropped back off. But no. He chose not to be there. He just *wasn’t feeling the whole dad thing yet*.

He shares a story about finally meeting his newborn son at five weeks. As he approached the house, he could hear the baby screaming loudly. When he walked in, Damon Wayans Junior's mother was disheveled and clearly stressed out from caring for their child.

OF COURSE, SHE LOOKED DISHEVELED, DAMON. SHE WAS DOING YOUR JOB, TOO.

Let’s break this down real quick. This man helped create a whole human being, but the moment things got real, he decided he wasn’t feeling the whole fatherhood thing just yet. Like it was a side quest he could get to later. Meanwhile, the baby’s mother was over there going through pregnancy, childbirth, and the pure chaos that is taking care of a newborn—by herself.

But here’s the real kicker: when he finally locked eyes with his son, that’s when it clicked. That’s when he finally realized he loved him. And now we’re supposed to celebrate this moment like it’s some kind of heartwarming redemption story?

And what’s worse? The way people are telling this story like it’s sweet. Like it’s a beautiful moment of realization. Bro, you looked at your own baby and finally felt something? That’s not growth, that’s biology. That’s literally the bare minimum of what’s supposed to happen. You don’t get points for eventually caring about your own child.

Imagine if a mother said, "Yeah, I just wasn’t feeling the whole mom thing for the first month, so I left." Society would drag her through every platform known to mankind. She would be seen as selfish, irresponsible, a disgrace. But when a man does it? It’s just a quirky little backstory for a podcast interview.

This is what male privilege looks like.

Men have the freedom to opt out of fatherhood without a second thought. Women don’t get that choice. From the moment she finds out she’s pregnant, her body, her future, and her entire life are affected. Pregnancy itself is life-altering—and for many, it’s life-threatening. Yet, men can just... walk away.

And then, when they finally decide to show up, we’re supposed to be grateful? We’re supposed to celebrate them? Damon really had the nerve to be like, “I wasn’t ready to be a dad.” Oh okay, but was the baby supposed to pause development until you were? Were we supposed to put fatherhood on layaway until you felt like picking it up?

Make it make sense.

And let’s be real—if this story was truly about growth, about Damon Sr. taking accountability, then the focus wouldn’t be on his moment of realization. It would be on the woman who held it down alone while he was out here acting like parenting was an optional side quest.

But no one wants to talk about that. No one wants to talk about how exhausting and unfair it is that women are expected to handle the weight of parenthood no matter what, while men get to decide when they’re ready.

And I already know someone’s going to say, “At least he came back.”

No, I’m not clapping for this. I’m not inspired. I’m just tired.

Now, let me be clear—I’m glad Damon Jr. got to have a father. Every child deserves that. This isn’t to say that men can’t make mistakes or grow into fatherhood. But let’s be real—why do we continue to accept this double standard? Why do we allow men to abandon their responsibilities and then welcome them back with open arms the moment they finally decide to care?

Being a father isn’t something you should be able to opt into when it’s convenient. It’s not a Netflix subscription. It’s a lifelong commitment.

And if we keep acting like stories like this are normal, nothing will ever change.