Indian Society and Stigmatisation of Divorced Women.

Language barriers exist, religious barriers exist, but they combine on one significant word, which sounds like ‘divorce.’ To start with, I would like you to know that there’s no existing term for ‘divorce’ in Hindi. The word divorce itself is an English term, and its popular translation, "Talaaq, is an Urdu term. You may be skeptical; why does a country that speaks Hindi in the majority not have a native word for divorce? We can see it here itself that Indians were so sure of their relationships or should i say presumptuous that they never invented a Hindi term for it. I think the roots of this are associated with our culture, about which I’ll talk in upcoming paragraphs.

Divorce certainly comes differently to a man and a woman. A man who’s divorced is seen with empathetic eyes of stories built about how his wife must have cheated on him or how his wife must not be the ‘ideal’ daughter-in-law for his family. But if a woman gets divorced, the same society doesn’t take a complete 60 seconds to start with her character assassination. What you hear from them usually is, ‘She’s characterless,’ ‘She’s ill-mannered and talks back,’ ‘I saw her talking with the milkman yesterday; maybe an affair?’ ‘I think she’s infertile,’ ‘Maybe wanted money.’ According to self claimed intellectuals of our society, a man can’t be characterless, infertile, dark, ill-mannered and greedy of money . A woman is supposed to take the burden of their household chores before divorce and such derogatory remarks all on her shoulders alone after divorce.

As an Indian Hindu, I can say that we have this certain mentality that being married to someone means a lifelong commitment, which is not at all wrong, but the ignorance towards how women are treated in that lifelong commitment is something to be made an issue out of. Initially the marriage happens with dowry in most cases, then the woman isn’t treated right or disrespected and cherry on top; she can’t part ways due to societal pressures, stuck in the marriage like a living dead cause once a woman is divorced, she’s seen as "used," if elaborated, it means- ‘used by a man’, which makes her incapable of starting a married life again because the institution of marriage in India revolves around female virginity. If marriage is a lifelong commitment, female virginity is the foundation of that lifelong commitment in India, I would say.

As I previously mentioned, roots associate themselves with the culture; I’ll add religion to it at the same time. In Hinduism, marriages are seen as sacred, and breaking them is discouraged. Our ancient texts are transparently in complete denial of separation. A country where most life events start with a holy promise and prayer, divorcing jolts the family honor and peace. Your marriage with an individual is not just your personal relationship, but it’s also a family’s honor, survival in society, and an authorized permission of producing children. So a country where people see separation as unholy, divorce gets naturally stigmatized and unacceptable , but the problem is it isn’t stigmatized just for one sex, and another is a woman.

The divorce rate in India in 2024 was as stagnant as it was in 2013, that is, 1%. India being a highly patriarchal country doesn’t make it obscure to understand that marriages here are 90% of the time difficult for women. Despite being difficult, it doesn’t give her complete liberty to stand against it and part ways, but it rather forces her to continue that marriage irrespective of all the ill treatment she gets and make the marriage her priority. The reasons may vary for it. It can be children and the impact of divorce on kids, family honor, financial instability or dependence, familial responsibilities, family pressure, and of course, religion; cause in India, you don’t marry the individual, you marry the family.

My argument is, a country where a woman is suppressed to even speak up for herself, if she gets a divorce, she's undoubtedly portrayed as bad luck to the society and her family. But what the society fails to question is, ‘What’ forced her to part ways?’ Or ‘How was she treated in her marriage?’ Do we ever see that a woman who’s a daughter, mother, daughter-in-law, and wife to someone is also a free serving maid, sex toy, physical punching bag, and prisoner to someone behind closed doors? Did we ever question why this ‘someone’ is always the husband or ‘the man’ of the relationship? But rather, we prefer character assassination of the woman; that’s where we set standards of safety, respect, and dignity for women in our country. I would not coin an example of an unpopular individual, but a well-recognized Bollywood actress, Karishma Kapoor, whose divorce welcomed her ample threats, false claims, character assassination, and the most favorable and utilised term by young boys, which is ‘gold digger’.

The reflection of social stigmas is not just societal attitudes but a base of deeply flawed and insensitive patriarchal norms. While men often don’t get targeted judgments, divorced women are burdened with shame, character assassination, and social isolation. This bias forces many women to stay in their unhappy or abusive marriages simply to avoid being labeled as "used" or "unworthy." The mentality is in desperate need of change because divorce is not a failure but a choice from dignity, self-respect, and freedom from unworthy marriages. If marriages are considered sacred, shouldn’t a woman’s happiness be considered sacred too? Instead of questioning why she left, shouldn’t we question why she was forced to stay there in the first place? True progress will come when we stop vilifying divorced women and instead view them as individuals who prioritize self-respect over unqualified societal norms.