Talara Nolan
Bio
I am a single parent to a 4 year old girl and live with her in Canada. I love working out and have lost over 45 lbs over time. I would love to share what I have learned and all the things that have worked for me over time.
Stories (113)
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4 Questions to ask yourself to see if you should stay in your relationships
I have been trying to figure out my next steps. This has been difficult for me as my ex, is very back and forth. He is the father of my daughter, and I have been trying to do the right thing for her. He is very back and forth on what he wants. I also know that he is a narcissist, and has many mental health issues. I know that it is up to me to make decisions for what I really want for my life. That I shouldn't be waiting on anyone else to make decisions on what will happen in my life. Things between us have been good the last little while. Though I also know that it will only be a matter of time before he does something, or starts to treat me badly again.
By Talara Nolanabout a year ago in Families
Facing my reality and my fear
I am looking forward with my life, looking at what my plans really should be. I feel like I have wasted this last year. Yes, I needed time to heal. However, I got stuck in the routine of things. Really, I got stuck in what my life became. I can make a lot of excuses. Living with people who are struggling and don't have goals is hard for anyone. Though I still have to look at myself, and only myself. Taking accountability is the only way that I can improve myself. I have been trying to really see where I went wrong, overcome it and move forward. I know that I have to get myself out of my comfort zone in order to get better.
By Talara Nolanabout a year ago in Motivation
10 inexpensive activities to do with kids over the summer
With the cost of living only getting higher, most people are looking to reduce expenses in any way that they can. Perhaps sending your kids to a summer camp isn't in your expenses this year. Especially if you stay at home, or even work from home. If you have your kids home with you, it can be boring for them. But it doesn't have to cost you an arm and a leg. There are some inexpensive ways to keep your kids busy.
By Talara Nolanabout a year ago in Families
Stuck between now and where I want to be
I know that living in someone else's house, you have to follow their rules. For me, it's a little different. I feel like I am doing things in certain ways to keep the peace, to try to stop or control the fighting. That is what happens when you live in someone else's house, after all. You can't do things in the way that you want, or to live your life the way that you want to. Because I live with my family, I always have to listen to other people's opinion about what I do. It's a lot for me to take. It is part of what made me lose myself, as I have always been someone that did what I wanted regardless of other people's opinion. Having to listen to so many other people have really gotten to my mental health in so many ways. After listening to them for so long, it has made me doubt myself. Wondering what they will say if I do or try certain things. Also wondering what they will say if I fail. The fear of being made fun of if I fail is enough to make me not want to try. I know that it is holding me back of even trying to live the life that I want. Though, I'm not sure how to shake this feeling.
By Talara Nolanabout a year ago in Families
Finding strength to heal
For most of my life, I was that person that didn't care what people thought about me. I lived my life regardless of what anyone thought. I remember that before I had my daughter, I lived my life based on what I wanted to do. My family was so focused on me getting married and having a baby before my daughter. This is because they wanted to have a party, that was the only reason. And I remember saying to them that they shouldn't push me, as I would marry someone they didn't like or never even met. See as a backstory, my mother got married to my stepfather without me, without me or my sister being invited. Since then, I knew that I was going to do what I wanted, regardless of anyone else's opinion.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Families
When children start to grow up
When my daughter was little, and honestly most of her life, I always have done everything for my daughter. I never regretted it. She is most likely going to be my only child. So for me it was my only chance. Though as she is getting older, I know that her independence is also important. She needs to know that she can do things for herself. So I have been getting her to do more and more things for herself. I realized, and always have, that it would mean that she would pull away from me a little bit. It was something that I have been prepared for. Though I always thought that we were very close. I guess I thought that we could overcome it, because we were so close. At least for a few years. I figured it would be a few years before she started pulling away. At least until she was a teenager. Yet here I am. She is only 7, and yet I feel like she is pulling away. Already she doesn't want to listen to me. I am finding myself getting frustrated.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Families
They always return when you are just moving on
I have been working hard on moving on. To move past the trauma of what happened last year. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness isn't helping me to heal. Even though it is tempting to try and fill my emptiness with someone else, I know that is the last thing that I should do. I am really trying to do this the healthy way, the best way that I can. So many people jump into another relationship before they have healed from the last one. Bringing with them all the baggage from the past person. That is the last thing that I want to do. In the long run, I know that I am right. But it's hard. It's hard to be so lonely, it's hard to try to repair what is so broken. It's hard to gain my confidence back. There is a constant thought in my mind that I am not good enough, that no one will love me, and all the evil things that my ex said to me. I know that I shouldn't try to heal my problems with someone else. Though there are moments that I wish that I would as it would make me feel better. Moving on though.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Motivation
How can we raise our children in a safe way?
There once was a time when most households only had one income. When most households only needed one income. Yes, this was a time that most of those households were married couples with kids. Now this version of the world seems like a dream, or a fantasy. It makes me wonder if this is just Canada, or the whole world? Is it just the reality of living in Canada?
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Families
Trying to quiet the voices that have given me depression
There is a darkness in my soul, in my heart, that I can't seem to shake. I am in the part of my healing journey, that is lonely and alone. The part of the healing journey where I wish things were different. When I wonder if I made a mistake. I need to remind myself that what really happened and the reason why I feel the way that I do. That is the hard part of my healing journey. I don't have a lot of friends anymore. When I got into my past relationship, he did a good job of isolating me. Of making sure that I had no friends. So I feel like I have no one to talk to now. Which is funny as I live with so many people. However, my family is toxic and not very understanding. I never felt like they believed in me, understood me, or were really there for me. Because of this, and because of the trauma I have been though, I find it very hard to open up now. When you don't open up, it's hard to feel a good, strong connection with people. I know part of the problem is me, but I find it hard to fix it. In my head, I have opened up and build connections with people. But at the moment I freeze, and close myself off again. Afraid that if I open up to another person that I will get hurt again.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Longevity
How much is okay to tell your children?
I was happy to shelter my daughter from what happened with her father. She still doesn't know that he cheated on me, that he hit me, that he put me down. In fact, when we first left him, she said that he was nice to me, but wasn't nice to her. That is why she thought that we left him. I was happy to have it that way. I know better than anyone the damage that can be caused when children get involved in adult issues. When I was growing up, my father was a drug addict and was very abusive to my mother. I remember it all. It has caused a lot of damage to me, issues that I am still trying to fix. My mother, for clear reasons, hated my father. I am very much my father's daughter, and so her hatred of him did damage to my self-confidence. I so badly wanted to not make sure that damage did not go to my daughter.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Families
Do you know what your dream life looks like?
Recently I joined a 6-week challenge that someone I follow on TikTok started. The first thing to do was to write down what your dream life looks like. There were very specific questions to answer. Questions like how many days do you work, what do you for work, how many hours do you work, and so on. What it did for me was to make me imagine what I really want, how I really want to spend my time. I was able to get a clear image of my dream life, and I want I really want for my life. When was the last time you really thought about your dream life? Do you know how to answer that question?
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Motivation
