Talara Nolan
Bio
I am a single parent to a 4 year old girl and live with her in Canada. I love working out and have lost over 45 lbs over time. I would love to share what I have learned and all the things that have worked for me over time.
Stories (113)
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Confidence with myself through the sadness
Why am I still so sad? This break up should not be this upsetting for me. It's not like it's a big surprise. I have known for some time that us living together as a family would never be an option. The thing I wasn't sure about was how I was going to get out of this. He's not a person that sees reason, so trying to talk to him like an adult just doesn't happen. This is the way out that I was waiting for. I saw a video on TikTok of someone saying that the sadness is not because of the person, it's not because you made the wrong choice, but because you are grieving the dream. You are grieving the fairy tale and all the dreams you thought were possible with that person. I think that it is hitting me hard this time because of the level of disrespect. It's one thing for it to end, it's another thing for it to end like this. At the same time, I think about the fact that I have had a feeling that he was cheating for the entire time that we were together. So this is not a shocker to me in any way. It's just different when it's so clear and so disrespectful. I keep trying to shake myself out of it. I always had faith in myself before him, had faith that I was going to be okay and figure out my life. Part of my sadness, has been that he seems to have taken my confidence away. Taken my faith away. I want to find my confidence again. To take my faith back. I will be okay, and I will figure it out. Somehow I know that I will build a great, and better life without him.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Motivation
When no one is in your corner
Everyone in my house got sick this week. I feel like my step-father got one sickness and my daughter got another sickness just at the same time. She gave me her sickness, of course. So the past few days I have felt really worn down. I keep going, as that is what I do, though I can also feel that I am not at my best. I'm just pushing through, getting by with the help of energy drinks. I'm not sure if it is me feeling sick that has fueled my depression, or maybe I am just depressed. I feel like I have no one in my corner, no one that is proud of me, no one that is really there for me. I wish I had no person that I could talk to, one person that really cared, no one person that believed in me. When no one believes in you, that is a very lonely feeling. I have been trying to feel proud of myself, focusing on my own strength. Not looking to someone else to be in my corner, so that I can be the only one I need in my corner. When you are feeling sick, and just run down, that is a hard thing to do. So I am hoping that when I am feeling better I will be able to be more productive, and focus on trying to make myself proud. I already have such a uphill battle to feeling proud of myself, that feel sick is just too much for me to handle.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Motivation
When the passion goes away
I watched a video where the person was talking about their perfect day. It got me thinking about what my perfect day would be like. I'm not sure why, but I just can't seem to think about anything. Thinking about my perfect day I'm not sure what that looks like anymore for me. I feel like I have no job or direction anymore. Where did all my feelings of joy go? My biggest concern is that if I don't know what my perfect day is, then what is my goal to get to? I want my days to be filled with joy, and happiness, and purpose. For some reason, I'm just not sure where my real and pure joy is. The question is where did I lose that real direction? Was it after my trauma? Or has it just come from age? We get into a routine of life, going to work, getting by, going through the motions. When that happens, we lose things. Such as feeling real joy, real happiness, real purpose.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Motivation
Are we growing a society of no direction or hope?
Growing up there were never conversations about what I was going to do with my life. There were no conversations about goals, or aspirations, or purpose. Though I also knew that was my situation, specifically to me. For most of my childhood, my family was just trying to get through the day. Due to addiction and abuse going on. When I was in high school, no one ever talked to me about what my goals were. My only goal was getting through high school. So when I graduated from high school, I just got the first job that I could and started working. I went through my life just getting by. No talks about goals or hopes or trying to do better. Though when I was in my late 20s, I do remember there being talk about purpose and goals. About finding your purpose in life. A lot of that came from Oprah when she was on the air. There was a period of time when there was talk about it, about finding your purpose and your goals. Somewhere along the line, I feel like it went away. I just don't feel like there is so much talk about it now. Not a lot of talk about what your purpose is in life.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Motivation
When you ride or die for the wrong person?
My problem is that I am a ride or die kind of person. If I love you, if I am really there for you, then I will do anything for you. I will do anything to protect you, and stand up for you. I really am a ride or die kind of women. They type that says 'if you are going over the cliff then I'm going over the cliff too'. When I make a commitment, a real commitment, I can't give it up. I can't just let it go or walk away. I have a problem with giving up. It's like I see it that I failed, and that just isn't an option to me. In general, there is nothing wrong with that. Being loyal to someone in general is a good thing, and a good way to live life overall. But what do you do when you commit to the wrong person? Someone that doesn't appreciate it, doesn't see it, takes advantage of you. Getting out, and seeing through the darkness is the hardest thing to do.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Families
Why is moving on so hard?
Wasn't I able to feel real joy before him? It's driving me crazy is that I now find it so hard to feel joy or to be proud of myself. He took away my confidence, my joy, my inner happiness. I feel like he broke my spirit. Like most people now, I posted videos on TikTok. Someone that use to know me follows me. Just from my video he made a comment that I sound broken recently. While I haven't seen him in many years, and I don't think highly of his opinion, it made me wonder if it's true. What even brings me joy anymore. I know that with every put down, every hit, it went out of me. It also doesn't help where I live. Living with my family is really stopping my journey to get better. Picking on people is very funny to them. For me, it's very hard. It's also is very hard for my daughter, which only brings me more stress. I feel like any time that I think I am doing well something happens to knock me down again.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Journal
When to keep the peace and when to stand up for yourself
I feel like I am caught in an odd place in both my relationship and with my family. In a place where I want to stand up for myself, but I also want to keep the peace. I feel like I have to really think about every situation that I am in, and consider if it is worth the fight or not. Most of the time, I'm just not sure. I am trying to stand up for myself more, however that causes trouble most of the time. I feel like I always take it, I always try to do what people say is the right thing to do. Of course, that always works out best for everyone else, and never me. When will someone look out for me? When will I come first? Maybe it's just getting older, but I am sick of always doing the right thing and never being put first. I know that my problem is my life is that I don't have a lot of people that will really take care of me, that will stand up for me. All I want is one.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Confessions
If I die.... Content Warning.
By the title I'm sure you can tell that yesterday was hard. When I think about it, I start to cry. So it's hard to think about things clearly to make a plan for my future. But I guess that is how they do it. They brake you down so that you are so depressed and emotional that you can't think straight.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Confessions
Accepting I am with a cheater. Content Warning.
I had believed it for some time, however I have to now know that I have to accept it. And those are two different things. So my 'boyfriend' has been telling me, or trying to tell me, that he has gone back to being a bodyguard for bad people. His words. People who are drug dealers, strippers, in brothels. There were a few videos he sent me in the past, but he was always alone in the videos. I had a guess that he wasn't working in those videos. I would say that it didn't look like a brothel or a drug dealers house. However, I am not around those people or places, never have been. So I didn't have any proof or evidence that it was anything more than he was saying it was. However, he recently sent me four videos. He claimed that those videos were proof that he wasn't doing anything wrong, that it was proof that he was being honest and transparent. They were all in an apartment, a nice apartment, seemingly alone with a woman. The first was of him, his back was to a woman who was standing at a counter, so her back was to him. He moved the camera down, and the girl was standing there in a sweater in her underwear, so her ass was totally out. The second was him in the hallway, then he shows her doing her makeup. The third she was bending over to do something for her little dog. He took a video of her ass, she had pants on now, but moved his hand like he thought about smacking it. The fourth was them walking down the stairs of the hallway to go walk her dog.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Confessions
How I stopped emotional eating?
After my trauma, a side effect that I didn't plan on was starting to emotionally eat. I had heard of people struggling with this, especially after covid. Looking back, I can see how I had this to some degree. Though it was never a real problem for me. After my trauma, the side effects of me trying to deal with my feelings were unexpected. I found myself having a real problem with emotional eating. Any spare moment that I had, especially when I was dealing with a lot of feelings, I would find myself eating. I felt like I always had to be eating basically. There wasn't a lot I could do to control myself. Before I knew it, I was 5 lbs heavier.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Longevity
The loneliness after abuse. Content Warning.
When I was in the abusive relationship, the loneliness was overwhelming for me. I dreamed of getting out, of not being there and being able to live a happy and fulfilled life. The thing is that it's not the fairy tale that you think that it is. It's not that easy.
By Talara Nolan2 years ago in Longevity
Doing pregnancy differently
My first time being pregnancy was a lot for me to take in. I really had no idea what I was doing. It was not planned, and so it was a lot to learn and think about. I didn't know what to do or what was normal. Everything for me was a learning experience. When you are trying to prepare yourself for this big change, it's hard to take it all in. There are some things that I would do differently, and some I would do again my second time around.
By Talara Nolan3 years ago in Families
