Liam Ireland
Bio
I Am...whatever you make of me.
Stories (433)
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A Truly Shocking Dog Story
Ever since I was a kid I have been an animal lover, especially dogs. The great thing about dogs is that they love you forever and are always happy to see you. They don’t throw a moody for no good reason. What’s more, they don’t cheat or lie or set out to deceive you in any way shape or form. If they do something bad, like crap on your favourite rug, they always own up by showing their guilt. So what you have in a dog is a faithful friend for life, which is not always the case with their human counterparts. Having said all that, dogs can sometimes unwittingly be the cause of a great deal of pain.
By Liam Ireland3 years ago in Humor
The Heist In The Sky
The big Dreamliner had been in the air for three hours, on a four-hour flight from Greece to London Heathrow Airport. It was just one hour to touch down. Howard looked across the aisle to Bill. They both got up and slowly made their way to the cockpit. At the last minute, Melvyn decided to remain back in the cabin.
By Liam Ireland3 years ago in Fiction
Wealth And Immortality Please
Over the great many years that I have lived and breathed, I seem to have acquired a plethora of totally useless information. For example, the reason men wear ties is simply to conceal their shirt buttons. Where on God’s earth is that going to get me? I got that little gem from some useless Religious Studies teacher at my Catholic secondary modern school.
By Liam Ireland3 years ago in Humor
I Am The Prize
Well, this is going to be one very unique heist. What it consists of is me basically stealing myself back from those who stole me, from me, in the first place. They've been stealing me from me all of my life. And then, they try to get me to pay them to get myself back. It's a new me, they say, who will have a better life. Well, it's going to stop.
By Liam Ireland3 years ago in Fiction
Just For Fun
If you read through some of my offerings here on Illumination you would think that my life has all been one long tragedy. However, the truth of the matter is that my life has been littered with some of the funniest events which I really could not make up.
By Liam Ireland3 years ago in Humor
An Untimely Attack of Gas
If you suffer from an excess of flatulence, as I do, it can lead to some extremely hilarious, embarrassing moments. There is one thing you should never do when dealing with the public and that is because it tends to leave a very bad smell, if you know what I mean, except in this case, it was all the sound and the fury without the whiff. Allow me to explain.
By Liam Ireland3 years ago in Humor
Pondering On My Own IQ On The Potty
I have just been studying something called the Dunning-Kruger effect. This is a psychological condition in which people of low ability have a tendency to overestimate themselves, and people of high ability have an equal tendency to underestimate themselves.
By Liam Ireland3 years ago in Humor
