jieke

Joined July 2022

7 stories

Stories (7)

Filter by community

Sort by (Optional)

What kind of marriage is a healthy development marriage?
Married less than a year. I deeply understand that my husband is striving for the aa system in terms of living expenses, or I hope that I can spend more money for him. (My annual salary is 200,000, and he said that 10w is pre-tax). In terms of housework, he will not do it if he can. As a result, I went home from overtime and continued to cook and do housework for two hours every day. He just sat on the sofa and watched TV, or lay in bed and played with his mobile phone. I have talked a few times, but there is no improvement. The reason is that he will do it when he wants to. Some time ago, I planned to prepare for pregnancy, and I asked him to quit smoking because he is 36 years old this year and I am 30 years old. I think his physical fitness is average, he has been suffering from skin diseases, has a cold, fever and diarrhea, and every day he comes back from get off work, he complains of headaches and dizziness. So I hope that the best possible prenatal and postnatal care is responsible for the children. The only thing I can do is to eat well, rest well, and quit smoking. He said that other people who smoke don't want children, why do things come to me, thinking that I don't want children on purpose; we don't make much money, because we are in Shanghai, and it will definitely be more stressful to have children in the future. He talked about hoping that he could work harder. I also know that the environment cannot be changed for a while, but I think a positive attitude is indispensable. He said that he thinks that the money is too little for me to earn, and the family is very poor to raise children, so why do I feel that raising children is a lot of pressure. I think about having a child in the future, he is neither willing to pay more money nor do housework, our financial conditions are not enough to hire an aunt every month, then I go to work and take care of the child, and there is no one to help, no one Understand me, slap me in language everywhere, so how will you live the next day? How does a healthy marriage develop? Feeling disappointed and powerless with life. To add, I think the reason for his indifferent attitude may be because he is from Shanghai and I am a foreigner, but the family conditions of both sides are similar. Although I was lazy before marriage, I basically listened to what I said. Now I just look like me, whatever face you want, and he thinks he is fine with the above problems. I never put down my phone at home, I just keep playing with it. I don't plan to read to grow. Faced with this person every day, there is no hope in life.
By jieke3 years ago in Humans
What kind of marriage is a happy marriage?
The performance of a happy marriage, what are the characteristics of a good marriage? 1. The character is generous and will not be preoccupied with trivial matters. After a woman gets married, she must have the style of the hostess, and no longer has a certain tolerance and pattern as before. Because there are so many trivial matters in marriage, women need to be open to everything and not to bargain for small things, which will not only hurt the relationship between you and the man, but also hurt your body and mind. After all, there are so many unpleasant things in life that you can't take everything to heart, which can make your whole person especially negative. So for a happy marriage, when your thinking is broader, not only will the man sit up and pay attention to you and then love you, you will live a happier life because a lot of things don't affect your emotions, it makes you The whole person is more sunny. 2. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is well handled. In marriage, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must be handled well. In addition to getting along well with your mother-in-law, a man must help you deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so that you can get twice the result with half the effort. Your man must be on your side and pay attention to you in everything, so that your marriage will be more stable. After all, you are a man's life partner, and you have to spend your life hand in hand. Of course, you must have a good way. After all, the elderly have to rely on coaxing. As long as the old man is happy, everything will be very simple. When the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is handled well, the family will be very harmonious, so that there will be no major conflicts in married life, your relationship will become more and more stable, and your marriage will become more and more happier! 3. Have their own work and life. Women have to have their own jobs and lives because people's lives are so long and can't always revolve around men and families, you should still make yourself more fulfilling. Now, thanks to the development of mobile phones and social networks, you can learn what you want to learn at any time, so you can enrich your hobby and make yourself look more attractive. If a person has a boring life, it is easy to age, so what you need to do is to make your life more interesting. A woman's life can also be colorful, and you can also have a perfect workplace life, it depends on your own ideals in life, so women must have their own work and life, so that you can have a happy marriage.Second, a happy marriage has these three characteristics. Home is a besieged city, and marriage is the foundation of a besieged city, so marriage happiness is the foundation of family happiness. Happy family lives vary, but a happy marriage always has its look and has a lot in common. Happy marriages have these three characteristics, do you have them? 1. Solid foundation and deep emotion. Have you ever, because a person fell in love with a city? Home is besieged, because you love him, so you want to marry him. In marriage, the emotional foundation is very important. Taking the ancients as an example, their marriages were mostly ordered by their parents. According to the matchmaker, marriage is entirely up to the parents. The person you marry may not be the person you love, and the person you love may have formed a family with others; 2. Understand and support each other. It is said that the good-looking skin is the same, and the interesting soul is one in a thousand. There is such a passage on the Internet: The so-called interesting soul is actually the person's information density and knowledge level, which is much higher than yours, willing to lean down and listen to your non-nutritious nonsense to communicate with you, and propose some things you have not heard of. The point of view subverts your short-term imagination and three views. Only two people can understand each other and consider things from each other's perspective. Over time, you know my small thoughts, my goals, and I know your hard work and pride. We don't need to spend time and effort communicating. We know what the other party is thinking, be yourself, give the other party enough support, give the other party enough sense of security, and let the other party know that I will always be your strong backing. 3, attention to detail, full of surprises. Our lives always win in the details. For a happy marriage, the so-called details are not only the trivial things in life, but also the capture of subtle emotional changes. Details can also be the valuable tranquility in a noisy life. The work is inevitably not smooth, the position goes up and down, and the mood is occasionally lost. Many times I will accompany you quietly, and more often I will solve the problem for you. It seems to tell you unintentionally that you are great, work hard and you are shining, You will illuminate many people, so you illuminate my past and let me grow. Grasp the details and control your life, such a marriage can surprise you every day.
By jieke3 years ago in Humans
What is marriage, what is the meaning of marriage?
Marriage is when those who are surrounded by the city want to go in and have a look. The scenery in the besieged city cannot be seen from the outside, and the scenery inside the besieged city is never shown to tourists outside the city, and it will not open the garden for anyone to visit. You can Become a scene in the city. This scene cannot be simulated outside the city. You can enjoy your besieged city outside the city, but it cannot become your besieged city. Without the scenery you want, the besieged city is difficult to get in and out of. ! Who knows about the seven-year itch? Hahahahaha!
By jieke3 years ago in Humans
How breakups and betrayals can make you grief
Every time you fall in love and establish an intimate relationship, you need to take off your armor and treat each other frankly in order to feel that hot love.
By jieke3 years ago in Humans
What kind of marriage is a good marriage?
The best marriage is to be responsible for yourself. What kind of man are you looking for? I want to find a responsible, responsible and reliable man. What kind of woman are you looking for? I am looking for a gentle and considerate woman who can take care of the family. In this reliable era, it is becoming more and more difficult to find a reliable person. The biggest hit recently is the play that Guo Degang and Cao Yunjin turned against each other. Some people say that their confrontation is actually a confrontation between China's two major rules. One is the patriarchal system and the other is the economic system. The patriarchal system talks about being a teacher for one day and a father all day long. There is no reason to say that what is mine is mine, and what is yours is also mine. You must always be responsible to me. The economic system is about win-win and contracts. For example: a child threw more than a dozen empty wine bottles down from the 20th floor. Fortunately, there was no one downstairs, otherwise the consequences would be disastrous. After his father found out, he beat him and posted the scar on the child's butt to the community WeChat group, and solemnly apologized to the owners. From the point of view of the patriarchal system, this father did the right thing, just like Jia Zheng beating Jia Baoyu: No matter how old you are, in front of me, you must be a child, you are a thing, not a person, you give it to me I'm embarrassed, I'm in trouble, you get in my way, I'm going to hit you, why? Because I am your father. If from the perspective of the economic system, my body does not belong to you, but my body belongs to me, why should you hurt my body? And, as a child, did I really have a motive to hurt? For me, it's just a game, should I pay for this responsibility or should you be an adult, have you done enough education for me? Are you treating me with such violence for yourself or to teach me what it is safe to do? Can you make me understand what you want me to understand in this way? Maybe I just learned one thing: don't hurt my dad's face, or I'll be miserable. The patriarchal system refers to the relationship of unlimited liability, while the economic relationship refers to the relationship of limited liability. The book "Understanding Love" defines responsibility in this way: Without respect, there is no responsibility. Because responsibility is necessarily a twin brother with another noun, that is, right. Those who talk about love may not really love you. During counseling, I often hear a lot of complaints from clients about their partners. After listening to this, I do feel sympathy for clients who are treated like this, but when I asked. After such a sentence, it seems that the other side of the problem begins to stand out: "What have you done for your partner?" At this time, the client tends to stop talking about it, or start to say again after a while, "I am for your partner." The other party did this and that, and it almost broke my heart, but he didn't appreciate it at all. My second question is: "Does what you do, is what he needs?" The client is silent for the second time, and then asks in surprise, "I do all this, isn't it all the wife (husband) should do? Isn't it what all men (women) want?" Or "Even if he doesn't want it, he should accept it if I do it." If you give it to the other party, then the other party must reciprocate to you? If you go to a shopping mall and the merchant forces you to buy her products, otherwise you are irresponsible, will you buy it? What's more, many times, you don't even do anything, and you force others to serve you indefinitely. Isn't this the behavior of gangsters?
By jieke3 years ago in Humans
Marriage and friends choose marriage, right?
I was married in a different place. My husband and I met because I was introduced by a little best friend C. My best friend C is temperamental, thin and tall, which is the type that men like. I am 163, 60 kg, with an uneven body and thick legs. The only face is better than C. The point is that I am gentle but also very direct. The reason is that I got married and came to bless my wedding from thousands of miles away. I was busy preparing for the wedding. Sometimes I couldn’t take care of C. My husband would help me take care of her. I had a meal with C two nights before the wedding to say goodbye to being single for me. After dinner, I drank a lot of wine. During this period, my husband took good care of C and even took off his own clothes and put them on C because C wore less. Later, C and I both drank too much. My husband arranged for us to sleep separately. Actually, I was awake because while my husband was taking care of C, I always felt that it was not right and a little too caring, so I pretended to fall asleep and waited until my husband sent a message to C that I was asleep. I woke up He grabbed his cell phone and asked him why he asked. The husband confessed that he wanted to sleep with C, and he also said that C seduced him. C and I have known C since childhood. The private life of C is indeed quite chaotic, but I am still willing to believe that when C sleeps, no one will sleep with my husband. Later, because I registered in advance, my mother-in-law's intercession wedding was completed, and C returned to our hometown. I actually love my husband very much for the sake of marriage, and continue to live as if nothing happened. It's just that I haven't contacted C since then. She occasionally tells me that she misses me, and I also fight haha. At the end of this year, she kept saying that she missed me. She hadn't seen me for 5 years. She missed me very much and wanted to come and see me, but I never went to see her every time I went back to my parents' house. She, until a few days ago she learned that I had resigned and asked to see me again. I reluctantly agreed. When she came, I asked my husband if he had any thoughts in the past. Actually, I just reminded him to be honest if he wants to live his life well. C is here, maybe it’s really just thinking of me because it’s the 10.1 long holiday, we are in an ancient city, I want to take C to go to the ancient street attractions, parks and museums, C refused and said he just wanted to stay at home with me, C stayed for two nights , I didn't dare to sleep for two nights. I was afraid that they would stray when I fell asleep. To be honest, I don't believe either of them. I've been very tired these two days. I don't know if I'm really sick. After all these years of marriage, I never cared about doubting what happened to my husband and others, but I was really afraid of them. Just last night I insisted on sleeping until 2 o'clock in the middle of the night, and I found that C was still I didn't sleep, and my husband didn't sleep either. I really couldn't calm down. I sent C a WeChat message to ask her why she didn't sleep and if she had any thoughts with my husband. I heard C cry and went to the bathroom to wash her face, I said I'm sorry and said what I was afraid of. C said I was sick and asked me to see a psychiatrist. Then today, C secretly packed his things and left. In fact, if I chased her to the train station, I could chase her back. I didn't go. I called and texted her but didn't reply. I hope she can go and I can relax. For a moment, but my heart is really aching, I feel very poor and bad. I want to get divorced. I'm tired, really tired. Since you've been married far away, your friends and so on are also far away. Even if you are in contact, you have to take time. When you have children, you won't have any time, so there's no such thing as intentional alienation. Secondly, you love your husband, and your husband wants to cheat, thinks she is beautiful, and there are many beautiful women. You can prevent it for a while, but you can't prevent it for a lifetime. And your friend was not with him at the beginning, and he will not be with him now. She treats you as a friend, and of course you can't save it. It's like this, and people won't listen to explanations. If you have children, think about it carefully. Women who marry far away are very hard. They have no friends or family. All relationships start anew. You love him. And don't you think there's something wrong with your husband? If you talk too much, it's nothing more than your husband's fascination. You haven't actually cheated in your marriage. It's like dropping 100 yuan of shit. It's disgusting whether you pick it up or not.
By jieke3 years ago in Humans
How do I know if it's going both ways?
When he encounters something, does he think of you for the first time, or does he feel dependent on you in his heart? In fact, liking someone is not just about having a good impression on them, but also having a sense of dependence on them. After all, in a relationship, to love someone is to be willing to do something for them, and to help them solve any difficulties or setbacks. , I just hope that he can be so happy and happy all the time. And whenever he encounters something, he will always think of you for the first time, indicating that he has developed a sense of dependence on you in his heart. And she will never refuse to share with you some things about herself, what she has encountered in life or work, especially if women are willing to take the initiative to share some of their own things with men, which is enough to show that she has feelings for you in her heart If you have a sense of dependence and treat you as your closest and trusted person, you will be willing to tell you anything. After all, sometimes, there is no reason at all in a relationship, and there is no reason to love someone. You will think about him, recite him, trust him, and develop a sense of dependence on him. I can't help but always want to tell the other person that I have encountered problems in life or work, and some happy or unhappy things happen around me. Anyway, I will have the desire to talk to them. I just can't hide any secrets and thoughts. But if the other party always says something irrelevant to you, always likes to chat with you vaguely, as long as it involves his private life, he will not tell you, even if he chats with you at his own home Or some things at work, will suddenly stop talking halfway through the conversation. Then she definitely doesn't like you, doesn't care about you, and doesn't have any interest in you, and has never thought about being with you. Will /4/ta be jealous of you easily? Some people say that being jealous means liking a person and caring about the most obvious and direct performance of a person. If you think about it, it's true. After all, the feelings of men and women are selfish, especially for a "mind-eyed" creature like a woman. Once a woman really likes a man, then a woman will treat a man as her own private property, and she is unwilling to do so. Let others touch it. This is the same for men and women, and female friends tend to be more sensitive and suspicious, and there are various forms of jealousy. I don't care, and even when I chat with you, I always have a thorn in my sentence. And you must know that the easier it is to be jealous of a person, and the more jealous of this person, it proves that the more you care about the other person, the more you like the other person. After all, to tell the truth, no one will be jealous because of a person who is meaningless to him and has no place in his heart. Often, behind the jealousy of a person, it can reflect the possessiveness towards him and his concern for him. degree. Keigo Higashino wrote such a sentence in "Listening Alone": Secret love, things that you know are meaningless but can't be attached to, everyone has such an existence. In fact, I occasionally peek at you in the interval of the conversation. I really want you to know that the joke that was made casually at that moment was saying that I like you. In fact, in a relationship, two people who like each other and have secret feelings for each other are more likely to feel each other's feelings, but sometimes they are embarrassed to pierce that layer of window paper. Especially when you learn that the person you like also happens to like you, the sense of satisfaction and happiness that instantly floods your heart is self-evident, and it will make your whole person excited and excited. After all, people’s life is worth cherishing. Since the person you like in your heart happens to like you too, then you don’t have to hesitate any more, just go for it, go after the other person boldly, and turn the person you like into Your own people are the best happiness. Life is too short, don't leave any regrets for yourself, don't be embarrassed to express your feelings to each other because of shyness and fear of being ugly, so as to miss the person you like. Once you like it, you must strive for it. Once you like it, you must seize it, otherwise it will be a lifetime regret if you miss it. Finally, may the person you like also happen to like you; may all lovers in the world be married; may all the family members in the world be able to go to the white head together!
By jieke3 years ago in Humans