you should never play with fire It burns and it sears and it scars It destroys everything it touches But when it is not playing.
By Bev3 years ago in Poets
yes I still think of you But no I don’t want to And yes I still leave your side of the bed vacant But no you will never fill that space again
how do I learn to forget? How do I learn to forget how they take their tea on a sunny morning in their favourite mug And how they like it slightly darker on a cooler day,
I still remember the first time with you. We lay in my bed in my dads house Upstairs whilst he slept downstairs We’d been watching films all night on my laptop
toxic you called it. Toxic love toxic friendship toxic knowledge It wasn’t toxic till you planned it a week in advance It wasn’t toxic till you told your friends before you told me
You said you’d be here for me more as a friend to help me with my depression but that was a cold blooded lie wasn’t it.
I want to hear my own laughter. It sounds obnoxious and self centred I know. But isn’t that all anyone wants to do? Live. Love. Laugh. It’s the centre of what humans hold dear. It’s one of the pure fundamentals of being a person, With a soul.
They say the most brutal battles give way to the best things But how can there be anything better than the feeling of lying next to the one you love most?
I miss your hugs. I miss your laughter. I miss the way we were together. I miss the way you said my name. I miss how we cried.
I want to make art. I want to make art of my life. I want to make art of my feelings and my soul. But I am not a painter or a designer or a sculptor. I am not a writer or a singer or a musician. I cannot synthesise art to please the people.
I looked at my hands today. They are the hands of a man who should not have worked a hard day in his life. Long slender fingers that should have been unblemished. Soft Palms that could show love at just a touch. Thin wrists that would not have carried the weight they did. Nails so pristine they looked almost manicured. But these are my are not my hands.
I looked at the bottom of my feet earlier and they’re covered in bruises and marks that I don’t even remember forming but they’ve never hurt this bad before. I’ve never felt the pads of my toes curl so much to avoid the floor or the arch of my foot sink so low to spread the load. And it hurts so much to even poke the bruises. I’ve been on my feet so long even the part of me I thought was strongest is starting to give up. I could walk 30 miles a day and not even feel my feet but how that has changed. The path stretches on and what can I do but tread lightly and walk slower and hope it all fades
