hardships

They say the most brutal battles give way to the best things

But how can there be anything better than the feeling of lying next to the one you love most?

How can you say there are better things coming when I have just watched the best thing in my life leave

they say that god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers

why would he ever think I was strong enough to fight this?

What made you think I was strong enough?

when I had neither the resolve nor courage to ask, "One more week?"

I fail to eat three meals a day, struggle getting up before 10am and can't even concentrate for more than 15 minutes

what kind of a fighter am I?

I can't go a day without seeing my cat because she's the only thing that calms me down anymore

I can't eat alone at the dinner table because the empty seat opposite stares into my heart

I can't bring myself to brush my goddamned hair because she's the one who taught me how to do it properly and standing and looking in the mirror hurts

it hurts a little too much

which sick, deluded, twisted, wicked, angry, monstrous god decided I deserved this

what type of fighter am I meant to be?

The one who beats the hardships and sees the better side?

Or the one who gets beaten in a field and robbed by the man who beat him.