Affirmations for Birth

I'll admit I was suspicious of affirmations when I first started teaching antenatal classes nearly fourteen years ago. I've seen how well many mothers respond to them, and now I'm a fan!

One mentor reminded me that this is a technique used by many top athletes.

Our brains are squidgy and suggestible things, even the ones belonging to those of us who think themselves cynical and immune to that sort of thing.

This technique can be especially helpful to rewrite some of the negative messaging about birth we've received almost all our lives. We can be carrying tension we don't even realise, in part thanks to the frightening things we have been told about the process. That tension only makes it harder when the time comes. This is one way to manage it, maybe even get rid of it completely.

When I first started teaching, I encouraged the mums to be in classes to write an affirmation on a post it note, and stick it somewhere they would see it often.

Someone who felt anxious might choose I am calm, or I am confident, for example. Eventually, they would stop "seeing" the little note at all, it would be such a familiar sight, but still, over time, the message would soak in and they'd start feeling calmer, more confident.

Now, I suggest mums choose an affirmation they are drawn to, and set it as their lock screen on their phone. How many times do you look at your phone in a single day? (If you're anything like me, too many!)

There are two key things to remember about affirmations:

1. Use positive language

If you say to yourself, "I'm not scared" twenty times, the key word in that sentence is "scared". You've really just repeated scared scared scared.

If you already have small children, you can see this phenomenon in action. If you hand your little one a cup of something and say, "don't spill that", what is probably going to happen in the next five minutes? They're going to spill it. Saying something like, "hold it steady" is usually more effective.

2. It has to resonate

If it doesn't resonate with you, it will have the opposite effect of what you want. Pick carefully!

I often ask mums to be to write down their favourites and I make sure to include them during the classes.

There are affirmation tracks on platforms like YouTube and Spotify, often with soothing music. I recommend giving them a go. Practise diaphragmatic breathing, (feel your tummy expand) and soften every part of your body as you listen. This is a technique you can take with you into birth as well. If you can't find time for this, try it at night before you go to sleep. It doesn't matter if you nod off.

I have a variety in my virtual toolbelt now. Different things resonate with different people, and I've learned not to assume. I've met women who were so down to earth and practical, I'd never imagine they were drawn to more flowery phrases - and vice versa!

Here are a few affirmations for pregnancy and birth:

I am calm

I am relaxed

I am open

I relax further with each breath, like sinking into a bed of twenty feather mattresses

I sink deeper and deeper into relaxation with each breath

I am confident

I am strong

I am a good mother

My baby is safe

My baby is healthy

My baby is growing well

My baby feels snug and secure

I use this moment to connect with my baby

I imagine my baby in their ideal position

I trust that my baby is the perfect fit for my body

I trust my baby

I trust my baby to know what to do

I trust my baby knows how to be born

I trust my body to work as it should

I breathe away tension

I feel only pressure

I ride the waves of my labour with ease

The softer I am, the easier the waves wash over me

I surrender to my body

I am safe

I am cared for

I imagine my body opening with ease

I feel my body opening with ease

I imaging my baby descending smoothly and gently

My mind quiets; my body opens; my baby descends

I birth with ease

I birth with confidence

I look forward to my positive birth

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Are there any that resonate with you?

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