“You Have to Give Up Some Lands!”

In the middle of negotiations with Trump in the White House on Aug, 28, 2025, cornered President Zelenskyy abruptly got up from the table and went to the WH porch.

Trump followed him there, “Is everything alright, Volo… President Zelenskyy?”

Zelenskyy was breathing deep, like he was having a panic attack. He finally mastered his calm and said, “It’s so beautiful out here: clear sky, no bombing or air raids. People just going about their business,” he said nodding beyond the WH lawn. “I want this for the people of Ukraine as well!”

“And you can have it! Just agree to Vladimir’s terms and peace will come! Just agree to his terms!” Trump said, patting him on the shoulder.

“But he wants half of Ukraine!”

“So what? Why do you need that half anyway? It’s useless, destroyed and gutted now, so destroyed and gutted it will take you decades to de-mine and rebuild it! I understand there’s no life there. No life at all. Let Vladimir deal with it, he has more resources and capacity. So much more!”

“He will never stop! After this deal, he will want more of Ukraine until he gets the entire country! I need your help saving my country, President Trump!” Zelenskyy pleaded with his puppy eyes.

“We will deal with this later if it happens. Vladimir assured me that if the peace deal is reached, he will guarantee your security!”

“Ah, but we already had the security guarantees, in 1994 when we gave up our nuclear weapons, through the Budapest memorandum. Putin violated them first in 2014 by annexing Crimea.”

“Crimea is gone, it’s Russian now and you should forget about it. And I didn’t sign those guarantees. Neither did Vladimir. Obama and Biden did. This time it will be different, I promise you. It’ll be my personal guarantee. Best guarantee ever, my personal guarantee. Don’t you trust me, Volo…”

Ignoring the Obama-Biden remark (it was President Clinton who signed the 1994 Budapest memorandum for the USA), Zelenskyy said, “Alright, let’s try this thought experiment, President Trump. Imagine that a group of terrorists, deadly enemies of the United States…”

“Arab terrorists?”

“It doesn’t really matter for this experiment. Just think of any deadly terrorist group.”

“Ok, so let’s say Hamas.”

“Not where I wanted to go, but OK, imagine a group of terrorists manages to capture half of your beautiful White House…”

“This will never happen, not on my watch! I have the most powerful military in the world! Most powerful, and my Secret Service is the best,” Trump was getting agitated.

“I know, President Trump. Again, let’s just pretend it happened, for the purpose of this exercise.”

“Ok, but again, it would never happen! Only Obama let that happen, on 9/11! He should have gone to jail for that, and instead they gave him the Nobel Peace Prize! Can you imagine, Obama got the Nobel and I didn’t!”

“Again, President Trump, the purpose of this hypothetical is different…”

“Which hypothetical?”

“Alright, let’s try to imagine that we are watching a movie, a thriller action movie. “

“I like movies!”

“I know, President Trump,” Zelenskyy patted him on his shoulder slightly, as if Trump was a big child. “And in that movie, some terrorists captured half of the White House…”

“I think I’ve seen that movie… Olympus something with that handsome Scottish actor, Gerard Bu… He is so handsome, like from Central Casting! Bu… Bummer? ” Trump had difficulty remembering the name.

“Butler, yes. Imagine you are the president in that movie.”

“Ok,” Trump smiled at the flattery.

“So the terrorists captured half of the White House and put the unreasonable demands to give up the second half and the entire United States as a country. What would you do?”

“I would unleash the entire United States military might on them! I’d crush them like little bugs and kill them all!”

“See, you would defend your White House and your country, right?”

“Of course I would.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do, President Trump, defend my country against a terrorist state that attacked us first.”

“So you don’t want peace then?”

“Not on Putin’s terms!” Zelenskyy’s eyes were full of anger and desperation.

At this point, President Macron of France came out to the porch and said, “Is everything alright here? Should we go back to the negotiation table?”

“Seems like someone doesn’t want peace,” Trump said, “I can see it already.”

“Let’s go inside and continue talking about it, shall we?” Macron nudged them both to go back to the negotiation table.

“Alright,” Trump said, “But I don’t think we will come to any agreement. If we don’t, you Europeans will have to deal with this stubborn guy on your own. I’m out, Nobel or not!”