TACO Calling PACO - 2

The official conversation below happened on the government secured line on July 3, 2025, after Trump made the following announcement on Truth Social. It incorporates quotes of the conversation's account from The Kremlin news website.

"Hello, Vladimir?"

"Yes, Donald, good day!"

"We have several urgent issues to discuss."

"We do indeed."

"But first, I wanted to tell you that my Congress has just passed the Big Beautiful Bill! One Big Beautiful Bill has been passed, can you imagine? Now we can start reforms in taxation, immigration, and the energy sector! This will be the most consequential Big Beautiful Bill in history!"

"I am very happy for you, this is a major achievement, Do..nald! Congratulations, this will be your most important legacy, people will remember you by this law."

"Absolutely, you are right, everyone will remember and thank me for this bill! Even the losers and haters."

"That is an excellent gift for the Independence Day, just like you wanted!"

"Exactly! A tremendous gift, Vladimir!"

"Let me remind you, Donald, that Russia had played a significant part in the establishment of the United States as a nation, including during the War of Independence, fought 250 years ago, and later during the Civil War, which ended 160 years ago."

"Really? I didn't know that!"

"That is exactly why I wanted to remind you, Donald. Our countries are bound not only by their alliance during World Wars One and Two, but also by deeper historical ties."

"That is tremendous news, Vladimir."

"I think we can deepen and strengthen our ties even more, Donald."

"Really? How?"

"Just before speaking with you today, I had a conversation with the representatives of Russia's business community. One of the ideas suggested during that meeting was holding an exchange of motion pictures promoting traditional values, which both we and your administration hold dear. We need to promote the traditional conservative values more on both sides, Donald."

"This is a great idea, Vladimir! Let me get to it right now, I will call some people I know in Hollywood. Tremendous idea!"

"Alright, Donald, then let's keep this conversation going. We also need to talk more about Ukraine and our other partners."

"Yes, let's do this. Good-bye for now, Vladimir!"

"Good-bye, Donald!"

"Good-bye, Vladimir!"

***

30 minutes later, on a secured private line.

"Hello, Vlad?"

"Yes, Donnie."

"Do you think we've fooled everyone enough with this official call?"

"I think so, yes, Donnie. I'll have my guys put up the official record of this conversation on the Kremlin website."

"Do I need to do anything on my side?"

"Don't bother, Donnie. I think our record will be enough. Your fake news media will swallow it up and have food to talk about for days, if not weeks. Now let's talk about Ukraine."

"Ok, what do you want from Ukraine?"

"I want to keep all the territories that we are controlling now. I have gained them with a lot of blood and sweat and I'm not going to back out."

"I don't know about that, Vlad. I don't think Zelenskyy will be happy about it. The Europeans and NATO leadership will back him up. They will definitely not be happy about it. How about you just keep Crimea?"

"Crimea is already mine, I returned it virtually without any blood spilled. I'm definitely not going to give that up. I'm talking about Kherson, Zaporozhye, and Mariupol."

"Zapo... what?"

"Zaporozhye, Kherson and Mariupol - the southern territories that give me complete access to Azov Sea. Now Ukraine has access to Black Sea only, and I want it to stay that way."

"Oh, I see. I'll talk with Zelenskyy and see if I can convince him."

"You do that, Donnie, you do that."

"Alright, Vlad, bye for now."

"Bye-bye, Donnie."