Moscow's Calling - 36

This call happened early in the morning on November 6, 2024, after the US presidential election was called for Trump.

“Hello, Donnie!”

“Hi, Vlad!” [gloating]

“Congratulations, you did it!”

“I really did, Vlad. I did it. I became president again, just as we wanted.”

“Don’t you still have to go through the electoral vote certification?”

“Yeah, but that’s just a formality. Everybody knows it’s just a formality. President-elect now, real President next January. I have really done it!” [incredulous and happy]

“Congratulations again, Donnie.”

“Thank you, Vlad. It wasn’t easy, but I’ve done it.”

“Aren’t you going to thank me for helping you?”

“Did you really help, Vlad?”

“Of course, I did.”

“Well, I mean, yeah, you’ve been a good friend and everything, but I’ve done it all by myself. All by myself, Vlad. I ran a really good campaign of love and hope, and my people showed up for me. They all showed up, Vlad.”

“Well yeah, that’s the official version of it, Donnie, but you do realize that I helped a lot too, right?”

“Maybe just a little, Vlad. Just a little bit. But it’s mostly just myself, really.”

“You are incorrigible, Donnie. You have no idea how much more money I spent on this special psyop, to install you back in the White House.”

“Really, Vlad? I had no idea. What's a 'psyop'?" [unsure]

"Psychological operation, Donnie, like in a war you need to do that to break the morale and spirit of the enemy."

"Oh, I see. Whose spirit you broke, Vlad?"

"Your enemies, Donnie. We worked on so many fronts to demoralize the entire American society. The oldest trope, 'divide and conquer,' never fails."

"Uhmm, and how much did it cost, Vlad?”

“Well, let’s just say that if I wanted to send you the bill it would be about five times more than what you owe me already.”

“No kidding, Vlad? Ten billion?” [incredulous]

“Maybe even more, but I’ll let it slide for now. What kind of receipts between friends, right? You did become president after all, and that’s what is important.”

“See, Vlad, speaking of money, I was thinking…” [pensive]

“Yeah?”

“Now that I’m president-elect and could do a lot of good things for you when I get into the White House, maybe you can make it whole for me as well?”

“What are you saying, Donnie?”

“The two billion dollars you kept talking about, Vlad. Maybe I could repay it in some other way? Is there another way to make us whole?”

“Two billion dollars is a lot of money, Donnie. Or twelve now.”

“I know, Vlad, that’s why I’m asking. Like one businessman to another, give me something here, Vlad. What can I do for you…”

“Not to pay me back the money and to stay on my good side?”

“Yes.” [quietly]

“It will cost you a lot, Donnie. You might be better off just selling your DJT stock after all.” To the side, "And all your assets, and still owe me some."

“See, that is not something I want to do. I was right, Vlad, my intuition did not fail me. I’m always right in these things. It’s like I have a special touch or something. Just genius, like my MIT uncle genius. Everything I touch turns into gold. Pure gold, Vlad. Did you see that the DJT stock is going up? It’s going up like crazy again, Vlad, and from here the only way for it is up. I will make so much more money out of it now, Vlad!”

“Did you just say ‘I will make so much more money,’ Donnie, not ‘we’ as you used to?”

“That’s what I’m saying, Vlad, I don’t want to sell my stock now. I plan to convince Elon to merge our two platforms, there’s no reason for us to compete against each other, and then we will be unstoppable! So much more money is to be made on this, Vlad!”

“But this is what I’m saying to you, Donnie: Two billion dollars is a lot of money, and you still owe it to me.”

“And that’s why I’m asking if there’s something else, another way for me to pay you back, Vlad.”

“Are we negotiating, Donnie?”

“Always, Vlad.” [both chuckle]

“What are you thinking, Donnie, I’m sure you had something already prepared in your head.”

“Well, I could lift the sanctions against Russia, for example.”

“You tried and failed before, Donnie. Besides, the stupid sanctions are not that scary for me now. If anything, they made me even stronger because they forced us Russians to rely on ourselves and produce everything we need at home and buy the rest from our friends. Besides, it’s not worth two billion dollars. What else?”

“Well, tell me what you want, Vlad. And I’ll tell you if I can do it.”

“You know what I want, Donnie.”

“Well, that may be, but I’d rather you tell me so that I know exactly, Vlad.”

“You are an excellent negotiator, Donnie.”

“Always, Vlad.” [beams with joy]

“I want the Ukraine. I want this war to be over and not to lose any territories that I gained.”

“Done and done. Is that worth two billion dollars for you?”

“Absolutely, Donnie.”

“So, just to make sure, if I give you Ukraine the way you want it, we are whole and square?”

“Yes, Donnie.”

“Can I have that on paper, Vlad?”

“I will have my assistant send you my peace plan for the Ukraine right away, Donnie.”

“Great. Just to make sure, we are calling it The Ukraine now?”

“I always did, Donnie. It’s my okraina, Russian periphery, after all.”

“Oh, I thought the correct way was just Ukraine, without The.”

“You can use that with Zelenskyy, in relation to whatever part of the Ukraine he’ll be left with.”

“Ah, Ok, got it.”

“I’m so glad we understand each other so well, Donnie. I have to go now, but congratulations again on your big win! I’m looking forward to working with you as the US president again.”

“Me too, Vlad, and thank you.”

“Bye, Donnie.”

“Bye, Vlad.”

Author’s note: This is my last story in the Donnie-Vlad conversation series. Since they have no need to speak to each other in secret anymore, I hope our media will not fail us in reporting on their real interactions and decisions. I’m praying and aching for Ukraine. Thank you to everyone who read these stories.