Journalists Confused As Thailand-Cambodia Fight over 'A Heap of Rubble'
Someone tell them who the good guys are
In the latest world conflict to electrify American newsrooms — a SE Asian border conflict over an ancient temple described as 'a heap of rubble' on TripAdvisor — a lack of official DC interest has left American journalists in a deep state of crisis.
Unlike their well-rehearsed story lines for the Ukraine-Russia war, or the Israel-Iran conflict, the Southeast Asian spat offers no clear “good guy” to champion.
Worst of all, their usual benefactors — defense contractors, Wall Street billionaires, and the plethora of Washington three-letter agencies — remain frustratingly silent.
“It's a nightmare,” says journalist Brenda Caldwell, who won a think-tank fellowship for crying 'Slava Ukraini!' on air, now clutching a self bought double-shot latte like a lifeline.
“In Ukraine, it was easy. The defense contractors sent us glossy press kits, and the CIA dropped cache phrases like 'unprovoked invasion' and 'democracy under threat'.”
“But Thailand versus Cambodia? Nobody's writing me a grant to pick a side.”
Her colleague, Tom Hargrove, a pundit whose career focuses on regurgitating Pentagon press releases with extra adjectives, stares blankly at his empty inbox. “Nothing. I tried spinning this as 'China's Secret Plot to Destabilize ASEAN,' but my contacts said it lacked conviction. Since when do we need conviction?”
The conflict, which erupted over disputed territory near the Preah Vihear temple, has power brokers in DC scrambling to figure out which side aligns with their interests.
In the Ukraine war, the playbook was clear: cheer for Kyiv, and Lockheed Martin might invite you to a gala. In the Middle East, supporting Israel could land you a cushy speaking gig funded by Wall Street titans, backing Gaza could get you a tour of Abu Dhabi. But in the Thailand-Cambodia border clash, the incentives are maddeningly opaque.
”I called my usual contacts at Raytheon,” says Tom Hargrove, a pundit known for hawkish op-eds in the New York Post. “I asked, 'Who's the play here? Thailand? Cambodia?' They just mumbled something about 'monitoring the situation' and hung up. How am I supposed to write 800 words on that?”
At Fox News, editors reportedly spent three hours arguing over whether Thailand's military junta or Cambodia's authoritarian regime better represents “American values.” Sources say the meeting ended with a coin flip and a decision to just blame China for everything.
Others resorted to recycling old tropes. “I just swapped 'Ukraine' for 'Thailand' in my last piece about standing up to aggression,” confesses one anonymous columnist. “Nobody noticed.”
”It's a tough call for everyone,” says media analyst Jessica Nguyen. “Thailand's got a pro-Washington vibe, with U.S. ties and a history of hosting our bases. And Cambodia's been cozying up to China, which makes them a tempting villain. The problem is, nobody in D.C. cares enough to send out a memo to clarify whose side we are on.”
Some journalists have tried to hedge their bets. “Americans love an underdog, and after the collapse of the Marvel Universe, we need a new batch of heroes. Young Cambodians dress the part,” says filmmaker and travel journalist Jake Schwartz.
The absence of clear directives from the usual power brokers has sparked soul-searching amongst the Fourth Estate - or at least, as much soul-searching as can fit between sponsored content deadlines. “I'm starting to wonder if we're just mercenaries with bylines,” muses Caldwell, “If there's no defense contractor or billionaire telling us who the good guys are, do we even have an opinion?”
Meanwhile, social media is abuzz with snarky takes, many of whom have gleefully pointed out the mainstream media's confusion.
One viral post read: “American journos lost without a sponsor to hold their hand in Thailand-Cambodia. Thoughts and prayers.” Another suggested, “Just flip a coin and call one side 'freedom fighters.' It's not like anyone's fact-checking.”
Desperate Measures
With no clear narrative emerging, some journalists have resorted to connecting the conflict to external evergreen story angles:
- Could Climate Change Be the Real Culprit in the Thailand-Cambodia Conflict? — Vox
- The Feminist Geopolitics of Border Disputes: Why Women Suffer Most — BuzzFeed
- A Buddhist Monk's Take on the Temple Tensions (Sponsored by BetterHelp) — HuffPost
Others have simply given up. “I'm just going to write about how both governments are corrupt and call it 'nuanced journalism',” sighed one Politico reporter.
A few are reportedly pitching stories on the conflict's “humanitarian angle” to at least secure the last few remaining grants from defunded NGOs in Washington before they shut down.
One thing is certain, as the shelling continues and diplomats exchange terse statements, U.S. journalists remain paralyzed - caught between their need to moralize and their fear of picking the wrong side.
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Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire. Any resemblance to actual journalists, their latte habits, or their desperate pleas for a Pentagon playbook is purely unintentional. No temples, jungles, or dope hats were harmed in the making of this piece. Read at your own risk, and don't blame me if you start cheerleading for the wrong side!
About the Creator
Scott Christenson🌴
Born and raised in Milwaukee WI, living in Hong Kong. Hoping to share some of my experiences w short story & non-fiction writing. Have a few shortlisted on Reedsy:
https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/scott-christenson/
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‘An Incomprehensible Nightmare’: Grief Turns to Anger Over Swiss Bar Fire as Le Constellation Owner Arrested
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Bells rang across the country. Vigils were held, candles lit, and names read aloud. Swiss leaders were joined by foreign dignitaries in remembrance ceremonies, underscoring the international impact of the loss. But even as memorials continued, troubling information began to surface. From Grief to Outrage Public emotion shifted dramatically when authorities revealed that Le Constellation had not undergone a mandatory fire safety inspection since 2019, despite regulations requiring regular checks for venues hosting large crowds. For many families, this disclosure felt like a second shock. How could a nightclub operate for years without inspection? Who was responsible for ensuring safety standards were met? And why were obvious risks — such as indoor fireworks — allowed at all? The mayor of Crans-Montana acknowledged failures in oversight, admitting that inspections simply had not taken place. 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