Why Talking About Mental Health Is Still Taboo in Brown Families (And How I’m Changing That)

Growing up in a brown household, mental health wasn’t exactly a dinner table topic. If you tried to bring it up, you’d probably get a classic eye-roll, a quick “beta, stop overthinking,” or worse, a change of subject faster than you can say “therapy.”

For many of us, mental health is still wrapped up in hush-hush whispers, stigma, and the idea that “problems” are something you keep to yourself or just tough out. And honestly? That silence? It messes with your head. It teaches you that your feelings are too heavy for the room. That struggle makes you weak. Speaking up will bring shame to you, your parents, maybe even your whole extended family.

But here’s the thing — talking about mental health doesn’t make you weak or “dramatic.” It’s one of the bravest moves you can make, especially when your culture hasn’t exactly handed you the guidebook on how to open up.

It took me years to realise that not talking about it was doing more harm than good.

So let’s unpack why this stigma exists in brown families, how it affects us, and what small steps we can take to change the conversation — one awkward chat at a time.

Why the Stigma Exists

1. Mental health was never part of the “brown kid” checklist. Growing up, the priorities were simple: get good grades, aim for a “respectable” career, and avoid drama at all costs. Mental health wasn’t seen as something real—unless it showed up in a physical form.
2. Emotions = Weakness. Many brown parents were raised in environments where feelings were repressed or brushed aside. Expressing emotion was sometimes viewed as being “too sensitive” or even attention-seeking.
3. Community gossip is real. There’s often an unspoken fear that people in the community will talk if you open up or go to therapy. The dreaded “log kya kahenge?” (“What will people say?”) stops so many from seeking help.
4. The ‘tough it out’ mentality. We’re taught to power through. To work hard, stay quiet, and be grateful. While resilience is a strength, suppressing emotions isn’t the same as coping with them.

How This Affects Us

* Bottling up feelings becomes second nature. But those bottled-up emotions don’t disappear — they show up later as anxiety, depression, irritability, or chronic stress.

* Shame around mental health creates the idea that seeking help means you’ve failed at being strong. So even when we know we’re struggling, we hesitate to reach out.

* Masking our struggles becomes a survival tactic. We smile, we achieve, we keep it all together — until we don’t. Burnout hits harder when you’ve been pretending everything’s fine.

* The silence becomes isolating. It’s hard to even recognise when we need help because we’ve been taught to ignore the warning signs for so long.

How I’m Changing the Conversation

I’m not here claiming I’ve figured it all out. But I’ve started doing what I can:

• Starting small: I open up to friends or family members who feel safe. It’s awkward sometimes, but worth it.
• Using my voice online: Writing about mental health helps me process my feelings, and hopefully, makes someone else feel seen.
• Educating myself: The more I understand about mental health, the more confident I feel in challenging outdated beliefs.
• Practising self-compassion: I remind myself that struggling doesn’t make me a burden — it makes me human. And asking for help is a strength, not a flaw.

Changing mental health stigma in brown families isn’t a one-day job — it’s a slow, sometimes messy process. But every time we talk openly, every time we listen without judgment, we chip away at the walls that silence us.

If you’re reading this and nodding along, know that you’re not alone, and your voice matters. You don’t need to have the perfect words or the perfect timing — just the courage to speak. So why not start the conversation today? Even one awkward chat can make a difference.