Understanding The Scars
The Different Kinds And What Can Be Done With Them
We all Carry Scars.
There are Different Sorts of Course.
There are the Scars that Physically Mark Our Bodies...
The Scar Down my Nose from a Snowboard Accident...
The Scar on My Arm from a Bicycle Accident...
The Scar on My Waist from a Dirt Bike Accident...
But there are Other Types of Scars that We Carry.
The Emotional Scars from the Challenges of the Relationships in Our Lives...
The Dad that Chose Not to be a Part of Your Life...
The Friend who Said they Loved You when they Were Actively Stabbing You in the Back...
The Love who said they would Always be with You, only to Turn Away and Disappear.
There are also the Spiritual Scars that Exist...
Those Feelings of Being Alone in the Void of Existence...
The Friend who was So Incredibly Good, who Passed due to Brain Cancer...
All of the Scars that Exist are Enough to Make Anyone Wonder...
Why Me?
But...
This is the Wrong Way to Look at the Scars.
Yes, it is True that Scars can Belong to Victims...
But they Also Belong to Survivors...
To Warriors...
To Champions who have Overcome Struggles.
These Scars are Marks...
Impressions...
And the Potential for Wisdom.
Depending on What You Take Away from Them.
If You Allow the Scars to be Reminders of How Small You Are...
And Keep Yourself in the Chains of a Victim...
Then these Scars Can and Will Consume You Down to Your Very Core...
Controlling How You Think and See Life...
Preventing You from Seeking Your Potential.
Or...
You can See these Scars as Reminders that You are Still Here...
Still in the Arena...
Still Capable of Standing and Winning.
Yes, You have Been Knocked Down...
Kicked and Spat On...
You have Struggled with Challenges and Pains that Others Could Not Understand...
Challenges and Pains that Perhaps You Do Not Yet Understand...
But Here You Are...
Still Able to Rise Again...
Like a Phoenix from the Ashes...
Shining Brilliantly Despite It All.
Perhaps You Did Not Deserve the Scars that have Been Dealt to You...
Perhaps they are Painful and Continue to Remind You of their Presence...
And Perhaps...
They will Never Disappear from Your Life.
Many People say that All Things Pass in Time...
But I have Seen Scars Stay with People throughout their Entire Lives...
Never Easing...
Maybe there is a Reason for that, However.
We Often See Pain as Something to Remove...
As this Vile and Insidious Monster that We Must Expel from Every Corner of Our Being...
But What if We are Wrong?
What if the Pain is a Message...
A Learning...
Wisdom...
Which We Must Seek First to Understand.
It Does Not Necessarily Make Whatever Caused the Pain "Right"...
But the Pain can Become a Force to See How to Live a Better Life.
Traps to Watch Out For...
Signs of Warnings to Avoid...
Discoveries of Our Own Value and How to Prevent Others from Dismissing that Value...
A Path to Show the World that They Have Missed the Treasure that We Are.
Yes...
These Scars that We Carry On and Within Us Do Exist...
And Perhaps they are Many...
But if We Allow Ourselves to Consider Another Possibility...
They Can Become Blessings in Disguise...
Blessings Which Continue to Grow as We Go Through Life...
Perhaps Not the Blessings We Hoped For...
But Sometimes they Can Become a Gem that Can Improve the World in Some Way...
And a Blessing for Another.
Your Body May be Covered in Scars...
But they Do Not Need to Define You...
You have the Power to Define what the Scars Mean...
And Define Who You Will Become.
---
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About the Creator
Dr. Cody Dakota Wooten, DFM, DHM, DAS (hc)
Multi-Award-Winning Sageship Coach, Daily Digital Writer (1,000+ Articles), Producer, TV Show Host, Podcaster & Speaker | Faith, Family, Freedom, Future | Categories: "Sageship" & "Legendary Leadership"
https://www.SeekingSageship.org/
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How We Are Scientifically Becoming Dumber
Have you ever Thought... Wow... People Seem To Becoming Dumber? Well... It Seems like this is Actually a Reality. Now, Nearly Two Years Ago, I wrote an Article about How IQ is Not a Static Trait.
By Dr. Cody Dakota Wooten, DFM, DHM, DAS (hc)3 months ago in Psyche
Why Smiling Can Feel Like the Hardest Thing
The Unbearable Weight of a Smile: When Your Face Refuses to Lie Anymore "Just smile," they said, as if my face were a light switch I could simply flip. As if the muscles required to curve my lips upward hadn't become so heavy that lifting them felt like deadlifting my own despair. As if smiling—the simplest, most automatic human expression—hadn't become the most exhausting performance of my entire day. I'm standing in line at the coffee shop, and the barista is making small talk. "How's your day going?" she asks, cheerful, genuine, expecting the standard response. My jaw tenses. My face feels like stone. I know what I'm supposed to do—smile, say "great, how about you?", participate in this basic social ritual that I've performed thousands of times without thinking. But I can't. My face won't cooperate. The muscles required to form a smile feel paralyzed, or more accurately, weighted down by something too heavy to lift. I force it anyway. The corners of my mouth move upward mechanically, but it doesn't reach my eyes. It doesn't feel genuine. It feels like I'm wearing a mask that doesn't quite fit. "Fine, thanks," I manage, and the barista's smile falters slightly. She can tell. Something's off. My smile is wrong somehow—too tight, too forced, too obviously fake. I take my coffee and leave quickly, exhausted by the thirty-second interaction. My face hurts from the effort of that brief, failed smile. And I still have an entire day of this ahead of me. When Your Face Becomes a Traitor I used to smile easily, automatically. It was a reflex, an unconscious response to humor, kindness, joy, social situations. I never thought about it, never had to try. Now every smile is manual labor. Every upward curve of my lips requires conscious effort, deliberate muscle activation, sustained energy I don't have. My face has become resistant, like it knows I'm lying and refuses to participate in the deception. In meetings at work, I'd notice other people smiling, laughing, their faces animated and expressive. And I'd try to match them, to mirror their expressions, to look like I was engaged and present. But my face wouldn't cooperate. It would freeze in this neutral, flat expression that read as either bored or angry, even though I wasn't trying to look either way. I just... couldn't make my face do what faces are supposed to do. "You look upset," my boss said after one meeting. "Is everything okay?" "I'm fine," I said, and tried to smile to prove it. But even I could feel how wrong it looked—this grimace that pretended to be a smile, this contortion that fooled no one. "If something's bothering you, you can talk to me," he pressed. Nothing was bothering me. At least, nothing specific. I wasn't angry or upset about work. I was just... unable to smile. Unable to make my face perform the basic signals that tell others I'm okay, I'm engaged, I'm a functioning human being having a normal interaction. The Exhaustion of Performance Every day became a marathon of forced facial expressions. Wake up. Try to smile at my partner over breakfast. Fail. See his concern. Force a smile to reassure him. Feel my face muscles strain with the effort. Get to work. Try to look pleasant and approachable. Feel my face settle into that blank, heavy expression despite my best efforts. Force periodic smiles during conversations. Feel exhausted by 10 AM from the sheer effort of manipulating my own face. Lunch with colleagues. They're laughing about something. I hear the joke, understand it's funny, know I should be laughing too. Try to make my face do the laughing expression. Produce something that's almost a smile but not quite right. See them notice. Feel them pull back slightly, unsure how to read me. By the end of each day, my face would actually ache. Not from overuse, but from the constant tension of trying to force expressions that wouldn't come naturally, of fighting against muscles that wanted to remain flat and unresponsive. I started avoiding situations that required me to smile. Stopped going to social gatherings where I'd have to perform happiness I didn't feel. Turned down invitations to celebrations, parties, events where smiling would be expected and my inability to do so would be conspicuous. My world shrank to environments where I didn't have to pretend—mostly my apartment, alone, where my face could rest in its natural state of heavy neutrality without judgment or concern. Understanding the Impossibility "Why can't I smile?" I asked my therapist, genuinely baffled by this loss of what seemed like the most basic human function. "I'm not trying to look miserable. I just... can't make my face do it anymore." She explained it in a way that finally made sense. "Depression doesn't just affect your mood—it affects your motor functions, including the facial muscles. The neurotransmitters that allow for spontaneous emotional expression are depleted. Your face isn't refusing to smile. Your brain isn't sending the signals that create smiling." She showed me research about something called "facial feedback"—the way our facial expressions both reflect and influence our emotional state. When you smile, your brain registers that feedback and generates corresponding positive emotions. It's a two-way street. But in depression, that street is blocked. Your brain can't generate the positive emotions that produce genuine smiles, and forcing smiles doesn't trick your brain into feeling better—it just exhausts you with the effort of manually operating machinery that's supposed to be automatic. "It's not laziness," she emphasized. "It's not attitude. It's a literal neurological impairment. Your brain has lost the ability to generate spontaneous positive facial expressions." Knowing this didn't make it easier, but it helped me understand why something so simple had become so impossibly hard. The Social Cost The inability to smile carries a staggering social cost that people who've never experienced it can't understand. Humans are wired to read faces. We make split-second judgments about people based on their expressions. A lack of smiling reads as unfriendly, unapproachable, angry, or unstable—even when that's not what you're feeling at all. My relationships deteriorated. Friends stopped reaching out because interactions with me felt flat, heavy, unrewarding. I wasn't fun to be around anymore. Not because I was actively negative, but because I couldn't reflect back the warmth and positive energy that social bonds require. My partner grew increasingly frustrated. "You never seem happy to see me," he said one night. "I come home and you just... look at me. No smile, no warmth, nothing." "I am happy to see you," I insisted. "I just can't make my face show it." "That doesn't make sense," he said, hurt and confused. "If you're happy, why can't you smile?" How could I explain that happiness and smiling had become disconnected? That I could feel some small sense of gladness that he was home, but that feeling couldn't translate into facial expression? That the pathway between emotion and face had been severed? I couldn't explain it in a way that made sense to him. And eventually, he stopped believing I was happy to see him at all. The Judgment and Misunderstanding The worst part was the constant judgment from people who didn't understand. "You should smile more!" Random strangers, usually men, felt entitled to offer this advice, as if my face existed for their viewing pleasure. "Cheer up, it might never happen!" People would joke, assuming my expression meant something bad had occurred, when really it just meant my face was resting in its default depressed state. "Why are you so angry?" I wasn't angry. I was just unable to smile. "You need to work on your attitude." My attitude was fine. My face just couldn't show it. People assumed my lack of smiling meant I was rude, unfriendly, hostile, or miserable. They couldn't see that I was simply exhausted from trying to operate machinery that had stopped working. Even well-meaning people hurt me with their attempts to help. "Just fake it till you make it!" they'd say. "Force yourself to smile and you'll feel better!" But forcing smiles didn't make me feel better. It made me feel like a fraud. It highlighted the gap between what my face was doing and what I was actually feeling. It made the depression more obvious, not less, because the smile never reached my eyes, never looked genuine, never fooled anyone including me. The Breaking Point The crisis came during my niece's birthday party. She was turning five, excited, adorable, having the time of her life. She ran up to me with a drawing she'd made, her face lit up with pure childhood joy. "Look what I made for you, Auntie!" I looked at the drawing—a colorful, enthusiastic rendering of the two of us holding hands. She'd drawn me with a big smile. And I couldn't smile back at her. I tried. God, I tried. This innocent child showing me something she'd made with love, and I couldn't produce even a small smile of acknowledgment. My face remained flat. Heavy. Unresponsive. Her face fell. "Don't you like it?" "I love it, sweetheart," I said, my voice breaking slightly. "It's beautiful." But she'd already seen my expression—or lack of it. She walked away, confused and a little hurt, and I stood there holding her drawing, hating myself for not being able to give this child the one simple thing she wanted: a smile. That night, I called my psychiatrist. "Something's really wrong," I said. "I can't even smile at a five-year-old. What's happening to me?" The Medical Reality My psychiatrist adjusted my medication and explained what was happening. "What you're experiencing is called 'psychomotor retardation'—a slowing down of physical and emotional responses. It's a core symptom of major depression. Your facial muscles aren't responding normally because the neural pathways that control spontaneous expression aren't functioning properly." She also mentioned something called "anhedonia"—the inability to feel pleasure—which often comes with an inability to express pleasure, even when you're trying. "The medication we're adjusting should help," she said. "But it takes time. Six to eight weeks, possibly longer, before you notice a difference." She also recommended something unexpected: facial exercises. "Research shows that deliberately practicing facial movements—even without the corresponding emotion—can help retrain the neural pathways. It won't cure the depression, but it might make the physical expressions easier." So I started doing these bizarre exercises. Standing in front of the mirror, manually moving my face through expressions. Lifting the corners of my mouth with my fingers to simulate a smile. Holding it. Releasing. Repeating. It felt ridiculous. I felt ridiculous. But I was desperate enough to try anything. The Slow Return The medication took seven weeks to start working. Seven weeks of forced smiles, exhausted facial muscles, and social situations I couldn't navigate properly. Then one morning, my partner said something funny at breakfast and I felt it—a real smile, spontaneous and genuine, breaking across my face without effort. It lasted maybe three seconds before fading. But it was real. It was mine. It happened without me having to manually operate my face. I started crying, which alarmed my partner until I explained: "I just smiled. A real smile. I didn't have to force it." He looked at me with such relief and sadness. "I didn't realize how hard it's been for you," he said quietly. After that, smiles came more frequently. Not all the time—I still had days where my face felt weighted and unresponsive. But the genuine smiles started outnumbering the forced ones. The effort required diminished. My face started cooperating again. Living With the Memory A year later, I can smile relatively easily again. Not effortlessly like I used to, and not constantly. But the heavy impossibility has lifted. My face has mostly remembered how to express what I'm feeling without requiring manual operation. But I haven't forgotten what it was like. That period when smiling felt harder than anything else, when my face betrayed me every day, when the simplest human expression became impossible. I'm gentler with people now. When I see someone with a flat expression, with a face that doesn't smile easily, I don't assume they're unfriendly or angry or rude. I wonder if maybe they're fighting this same battle. If maybe their face is as heavy as mine once was. I also don't take smiling for granted anymore. Every genuine smile feels like a gift, like evidence that my brain is working properly again, that the neural pathways are transmitting signals the way they should. The Truth That Needs Telling If you can't smile right now—if your face feels like dead weight, if forcing expressions exhausts you, if people keep telling you to cheer up and you want to scream that you're trying but your face won't cooperate—please know this: You're not broken. Your face isn't defective. This is a symptom of depression as real and valid as any other symptom. Your brain's ability to generate spontaneous positive expressions has been impaired by depleted neurotransmitters and disrupted neural pathways. This isn't attitude. This isn't choice. This is neurology. And it's treatable. With the right medication, therapy, and time, your face can remember how to smile again. The heaviness can lift. The effort can diminish. The genuine smiles can return. Don't let people shame you for something you literally cannot control. Don't let them tell you to "just smile" as if you haven't been trying. Don't let them mistake your depression for rudeness or hostility. Your face will cooperate again. The pathways will reconnect. The expressions will come naturally once more. Until then, be patient with yourself. You're not failing at something easy. You're managing something impossibly hard. And you're doing better than you think. When smiling becomes the hardest thing, it's not because you're ungrateful or negative or refusing to see the bright side—it's because depression has literally disconnected the neural pathways between emotion and facial expression. Your face isn't betraying you out of spite. It's malfunctioning because your brain chemistry is disrupted. The effort it takes you to produce a smile is the same effort it would take someone else to deadlift a car. You're not being difficult. You're being incredibly strong, showing up to social situations and manually operating facial machinery that's supposed to be automatic. The heaviness will lift. Your face will remember. Until then, please stop judging yourself for not being able to do something your broken neurology has made nearly impossible. --------------------------------------------- Thanks for Reading!
By Ameer Moavia7 days ago in Psyche
Bruce Lee and The God of War: Kuan Ti
It starts with love.. The Power to the God Of War and Wealth Walk into a Chinese restaurant (even in Oklahoma, USA), a Chinese police station, a kung fu martial arts studio or even a Chinese temple and you often see a red faced warrior holding a heavy quan-do (spear like weapon).
By WILD WAYNE : The Dragon King6 days ago in Chapters
Comments (8)
This reflection, makes you sit and wonder. What every scar means, if the script was flipped. Conclusion: We are stronger than we know. Broke, mended, and kept walking. this is Heart-warming.
Love this. Congratulations on yet another Top Story Cody. Scars are not just physical. Nice reflection.
This reflection is so grounding. The idea that stillness itself can be a form of resistance feels both radical and necessary in today’s culture of constant motion. It’s amazing how rest, when chosen consciously, becomes an act of quiet strength. This reflection feels deeply needed. Seeing rest not as laziness but as a deliberate, restorative act truly reframes how we define productivity. It’s the kind of reminder that lingers long after reading.
Physical or emotional, each scar tells a story. This is something to think about. A scar and the story behind it can be a learning experience. A life lesson learned. Congrats on top story!
Your reflection on scars as messages rather than mere pain is profound. It reframes healing as understanding, not erasure, which feels both compassionate and empowering.
That was a veryyyyy powerful message that you've conveyed. Congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Great reflections, Cody, well-deserving Top Story!
Beautiful fresh perspective.