Tolerating Uncertainty

Find a comfortable place where your body can feel supported. Maybe sitting in a chair, lying on a bed, or just lying on the floor somewhere you won't be disturbed. It’s essential that you avoid driving, cooking, or operating any machinery while practicing tolerating uncertainty.

Preparing for Relaxation

Once you are in your quiet place and have set this time aside, get comfortable. Ensure your arms and legs are uncrossed and supported, and your head is comfortably supported. You might want to close your eyes or simply look slightly downwards and let your eyes become unfocused.

Focusing on Breathing

And now just notice your breathing. Take a few normal slow breaths and feel what that's like. As thoughts and sounds come into your awareness, you can notice them and let them pass without responding to them. Just let them come and let them go. That's okay.

Accepting Wandering Thoughts

You will find that your mind drifts. Thoughts arrive and leave. That's perfectly all right. That is what our minds do. We can observe those thoughts, images, sounds, or sensations and just let them go by. And as your mind allows them to come in, so your mind allows them to go out. Maybe a bit like clouds passing by. Dissolving as they move on. The thoughts can come and the thoughts can go.

Letting Your Body Relax And each time thoughts, images, sensations come to mind, you can just notice them. And then just gently bring your attention back to my voice and allow your mind to create its own helpful possibilities. And as you sit or lie comfortably, notice now how your body is being supported. The surface of the chair, bed, or floor is holding and supporting you so that you do not have to hold your muscles in any particular way. You can just let them be.

Deepening Relaxation

Let them rest and let the chair, bed, or floor do the job of supporting you. And notice how your body seems to relax and sinks back and down into its own comfortable resting place. Anytime you wish to move you are alright because this is your time.

Awareness of Breathing

I'll just take a few normal slow breaths and notice what that feels like. Bring your focus of attention to your breathing, noticing the sensations of breathing as you breathe in, and gently breathing out again. Noticing how your body responds to your breathing.

Visualizing Relaxation

Now, as you focus again on your breath, I want you to imagine a warm golden light ball hovering above your head and then notice as it slowly drifts down through your head. And as the warm golden light gently spreads down throughout your head and into your neck and your shoulders, you note how it starts to relax and calm you.

Spreading Relaxation

You feel the light spread down in your chest, arms and torso and down into your legs. Just let yourself drift down and down into this lovely feeling, warm comfort and calmness, and let go.

Breathing in Light

With each breath, imagine breathing in this healing, warm golden light, allowing it to spread out within you, reaching every muscle, every fibre, every cell of your being. And with each outbreath, breathing out any remaining tension, just let the tension go and relax.

Understanding Uncertainty and Anxiety

When we are anxious, we tend to overestimate the danger and the odds of bad things happening, and we also underestimate our ability to cope if or when those bad things happen. And even if the odds are really small that a bad thing will happen, that tiny chance can be enough to really upset us.

Recognizing Intolerance of Uncertainty

Therapists call this the intolerance of uncertainty, and we might think things like: *I just can't cope with not knowing* or *I have to be 100% certain*. Uncertain events are nearly always bad.

The Need for Certainty

Or perhaps we think *I must prepare for each uncertain event*, and these thoughts understandably make us worry. And so we do the only thing we know that appears to help. We attempt to decrease the uncertainty through planning for that possible future occurrence.

Planning and Worrying

But we can't know for sure that it will work, even if we try to plan and prepare. So maybe we don't try. And sometimes we think it would be better if the bad thing happened right now because that would be better than living with the uncertainty.

The Cost of Worrying

Now, if we think this way, we're going to feel very anxious, and we might believe that worrying is a good thing to do because we think that worrying is a way of preparing for the worst and therefore helps to protect us and keep us safe.

Challenging the Need for Certainty

We can deal with uncertainty in two ways. We can challenge our need for certainty by looking at the advantages and disadvantages of needing to be certain and how that affects us.

The APPLE Method

The other way is to learn to tolerate that uncertainty, to reduce our need for certainty. And we can do that using the acronym APPLE.

A**- A** is Aware to notice we have a need to have the feeling for certainty

P is Pause do not respond, then act just as I habitually do.

P means to Pull back from such activity because of this.

L - Let go of thought feelings as of needs in one sense and to LET GO is all for exploration

E - explore, in other words discover more about what is presently in my present moment.

Practicing APPLE

If we can be aware of that need for certainty, pause, let go and then explore the present moment then we can gradually learn to tolerate that uncertainty. And the more we practice, the easier it will come, as with any new skill.

Visualizing Control

Now, relaxing even deeper, notice how it might feel at the moment you start to feel the need for certainty creeping into your mind. Imagine noticing the urge to try and catch and stop and fight that thought.

APPLE in Action

And now envision in your mind's eye. See yourself noticing that need for certainty thought in that moment right now and watch yourself do something different using APPLE.

Living in the Present Moment

And as any worrying thoughts come to mind, just notice them. Breathe or bring your attention to your breathing and choose not to react. APPLE: Be aware. Pause and not react. Pull back. Let the thought go. Explore the present moment by channeling your focus of attention.

Building Confidence

See yourself becoming stronger and more confident by being more open and flexible by choosing to use APPLE. Doing something different, something helpful, effective, positive. Something new.

Progress and Growth

And you can be sure that there will be a time, perhaps just short of now, in days, weeks, or months when you will be able to look back at how much you have progressed, relaxed, calmer, more content and confident in yourself and your ability to live with uncertainty.

Back to the Present

And in a few moments, you will return to daily life. And as you notice that relaxing, comfortable feeling right now, you can know that you can bring this feeling back with you. You will notice more and more each time you listen to this recording that you are feeling more relaxed, more flexible, more able to tolerate and accept uncertainty.