Social Success Meditation

Finding Comfort

Find somewhere comfortable where your body can feel supported. Whether it be sitting in a chair, lying on a bed, or just lying on the floor. Somewhere you won't be disturbed. It's important that you don't drive, cook, or use any machinery while practicing this social success meditation. Turn off or disconnect phones and tell your family members or others that you live with that you're going to take time to relax and ask them not to disturb you.

Preparing for Relaxation

Make yourself comfortable and ensure your arms and legs are uncrossed and supported. Sitting either erect in your chair, with your head supported on your shoulders, or maybe your head comfortably supported by the chair, bed, or floor. You might choose to close your eyes, or simply look slightly downwards and allow your eyes to become unfocused.

Breathing and Awareness

Now just notice your breathing. Take several normal slow breaths and notice what that feels like. As thoughts and sounds enter your awareness, just notice them and let them pass without responding to them. Just let them come and let them go. That's okay.

Acknowledging Wandering Thoughts

You will notice your mind wanders from time to time. Thoughts will come and go, and that's okay. That's just what the human mind does. You can notice those thoughts, images, sounds, or sensations and just let them pass on by. As your mind lets them come, so your mind can let them pass.

Shifting Focus

When we think about a social situation, we often worry about the worst thing that might happen, or about what other people will think about us and that we won't be able to cope. We might imagine that we can predict the future or read other people's minds, when in fact we can't.

Challenging Unhelpful Thoughts

We don't and cannot know what will happen or what others think. Our thoughts are not always accurate and not always helpful to us. Don't believe everything you think.

Redirecting Attention

When we're in a social situation, our focus of attention can be inward. We're thinking that others are thinking negatively about us. The other people are looking at us, or that we might do something to embarrass ourselves.

Breaking the Vicious Cycle

The way we think affects the way we feel, which affects how we act, which in turn keeps that vicious cycle going. Like any vicious cycle, though, we can break a cycle. We can learn to change the way we think or choose where we put our focus of attention, and we can change what we do.

Building Confidence

Consider for a moment how you think, feel, and act with people that you know well, with people you feel very comfortable with. What do you look like at those times? How do you hold yourself? What's your facial expression like?

Visualizing Success

Now, perhaps think about a person you like and respect, who you admire and would like to have their people skills, their self-confidence in social situations, their ability to relate to others and enjoy themselves.

Practicing New Behaviors

Notice where your mind is. Then bring your focus of attention back to what you were doing or where you are. Turn your focus outwards rather than inward. Look around you in that place as you feel relaxed and comfortable.

Imagining the Ideal Scenario

See yourself relaxed and comfortable. Confident and competent. Smiling. Chatty. Friendly. Notice what that looks like. What that sounds like. What are you saying? How were you saying it?

Overcoming Anxiety

And whenever you notice unhelpful thoughts or sensations, just notice them. Pause, take a breath, and carry on. It will pass.

Reinforcing Confidence

And as you go to bed tonight and every night, and as you wake each morning, you will be able to visualize yourself competent and confident. Smiling and getting through, even enjoying this future situation.

Returning to the Present

And whenever you're ready, you can bring your attention back to the room. Notice the chair or bed supporting you. Notice and become more aware of your surroundings in the room where you are right now. Open your eyes and slowly look around the room, seeing what you see. Hearing what you hear and notice what you notice.

Conclusion

Become more and more alert, but keep some of those feelings of relaxation while your body responds. Feeling more energized, positive, refreshed, and calm.