To New Beginnings

Today was the first official day of this journey I’m on. I ordered 3 books, yes I said it, books. One is chock full of positive affirmations, one is 60 daily tasks, and one is a workbook about mindfulness tailored specifically to people with depression. As I mentioned in my previous story “My journey to complete healing” depression is something I’ve suffered from for a really long time, most of my life in fact…. However, today is a day of new beginnings.

I haven’t delved too far into any of the books just yet, just the introduction, but I can say that just with reading the beginning of these books I’m feeling a little more positive, and like I’m on the right path. One important thing that all 3 books mentioned is to remember that this journey isn’t about the destination, this journey is more of a lifestyle and mindset shift and will be ongoing. This is not a race, so it’s important to pace yourself. That’s exactly what I plan to do, too. I’m going to take the time to really focus and learn all I can from each lesson so I can apply them to my daily life.

As for the positive affirmations, all I can say is, well, I’ve already applied today’s affirmation to real life…

Today’s affirmation:

“I conquer anxious feelings with action.”

Story time:

I was sitting on my back porch reading and enjoying the sounds of nature as the baby took his mid afternoon nap. After I read the affirmation and said it aloud for the first time, I felt a sense of calming.

A few minutes later as I'm moving along to the next book and todays next lesson, I feel an anxiety attack coming on. you know the feeling, palms start sweating, mind starts racing, stomach starts churning, and all the sudden you're ready to throw up for absolutely no apparent reason.... This time however, instead of letting myself go into a full blown attack, I stopped and I repeated the words "I conquer anxious feelings with action". Not even a minute later, the attack had stopped completely.

I was AMAZED and honestly probably wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't happened to me. I'm taking it as a sign though. a sign that the forces at work knew I needed to be shown PROOF that this CAN and WILL work as long as I continue on this path.

I have also come to realize, just in the first day, that I'm going to need a journal. I thought about just getting a notebook, but I want something sturdy that will hold up over time. Based on the introductions alone, I can already tell you there is going to be a lot of journaling happening. For now though, a notebook will have to do. It makes sense that journaling and writing things down would be a big part of this journey to self healing. i mean, what is a journal really but a book full of self reflection?

Todays first journal entry was goal setting. Its important to have both long AND short term goals. Long term goals are things such as Buy a new house. A short term goal can be anything from Brush my hair every day to make 3 sales by the end of the week. Anything that is attainable in the short term would be considered short term goal. Not only did I have to come up with a list of 5 short and long term goals, but i also had to make a "Plan of action" as I'm calling it. Its basically just statements like "I will achieve this goal by....." The one and ONLY requirement was that these goals be something that YOU can reasonably achieve. I would encourage you to continuously go back to this list of goals, look at them, and use them to remind yourself of WHY you are on this journey.

The second journal entry was about setting intensions. What are YOUR intensions for your particular journey? Mine, as previously stated, is to achieve healing from the inside out and be a better version of myself. a version that not only I can be proud of, but that my family can be proud of. Another thing this particular book recommends, is taking 10 minutes every so often and just standing under the stars in the night sky. I haven't done this yet, I fell asleep last night, but i am planning on doing that tonight. I've always loved the night sky and its always brought me peace but somehow i feel this time is going to be slightly different. Where normally id have my phone in my hand, tonight, I'm leaving it in the house. Its going to just be me and the universe in a moment of silence.

I'm sure as we go along these stories will get longer. Remember to pace yourself in all things. Life is short, why rush to the finish line?

Until next time!