The psychology of love

'What is the real definition of love?' I was reading a definition somewhere in my school life that is - without considering good or bad, without feeling ashamed and disobedient to parents, and without going into the ocean, that is love.' The color of love changes based on the mind. Starting from human behavior and perspective, it changes. Since love is not bought and sold with the mind, why should psychologists be left out? Various psychologists have discovered various theories about love by falling into such a patch of love. Here I will share a theory of love of a psychologist with everyone. American psychologist, Professor of Cornell University Robert J. Sternberg's gave a three-dimensional theory of love in 1985, which is known as the Triangular theory of love. According to Stenberg, love in interpersonal relationships revolves around 3 dimensions.

Intimacy: This means the feeling of closeness, attachment and contentedness. Simply put, it is the feeling of longing and anxiety to be close. Passion: The intense desire that drives us towards romance, physical attraction, and sexual relationships. Commitment: The two of you will be by our side through life and death, even through storms. It means the intense desire and feeling to continue the relationship in the long term until the end.

Nonlove: It means no love. None of the above three elements are present. For example, my relationship with you right now. You are reading this. I have no intimacy, passion, or commitment with you.

Liking: There is only intimacy. There is a strong desire to be close, no passion or commitment. You like hanging out with someone, sharing good and bad things, but there is no romantic involvement or commitment. We can have many relationships where we like talking to someone else, enjoying their company.

Infatuated love: Here there is only emotion, not the other two. Where does so much emotion come from? The emotion that forgets caste, creed and status, I will give you my body and mind. So that crush-eating love is Infatuated love. Only having sexual relations falls into this type of love, since here the demand is limited to getting worldly happiness and nothing else.

Empty love: Here there is only promise. There is no intimacy and passion. 'I will not let go of this bond, let the storm come' but the beloved has gone to a safe distance to save himself. Arranged marriage starts with Empty love where there is only a love letter. But over time, a mixture of emotions and intimacy is created there, based on which two people from two poles will dive into the ocean of happiness for ages and float, float and sink.

Romantic love: Aha, the name makes our hearts flutter. We often say ‘wow! What a romantic love!’ What seems to be the most desired love. Having received romantic love, you are flying in the sky! Now stop flying and rein in your wings. Otherwise, you will have to go to the hospital for paralysis.



Love (compassionate love): This type of love involves intimacy and commitment but no passion. Here, two people enjoy each other's company, are committed to the relationship, but there is no romantic emotion.

Fatuous love: Here there is a lot of passion and promise but no intimacy. Foolish love, unreal love. Love like a dwarf reaching out to the moon has boundless passion and a promise to give one's life and soul. There is no chance of touching. 'Ban mali, you will be Radha in the next life', 'If you don't get it in this life, we will see you in the next life' are these types of love.

Consummate love: By now you understand what complete love is. According to Sternberg, the one who can create a harmonious mixture of the 3 elements or the one who has Intimacy, passion and commitment is the Complete love or the perfect love that we all want to have. If we get it, our life will be blessed.

Do you agree with the 8 types of love mentioned by Sternberg? The types of love can often depend on different cultures, personal factors, and many other factors. What is your type of love? Consider it. Fulfill your love.