trauma

At its core, trauma can be thought of as the psychological wounds that persist, even when the physical ones are long gone.

Embracing the Darkness
She stopped letting people get close, she had become master of her mask and forged friendships based on half-truths. The invader left for a period, but our girl had become a husk of what she once had been. She ran headfirst towards danger, searching for anything to make her feel, she needed to feel, and she did for fleeting moments. She escaped herself. She drowned herself in alcohol. Felt painful bites of happiness with the heavier things but the happiness was fleeting, and the fall back was hard and brutal. She began to welcome pain; she embraced it because it was something to feel and then like all the other things, she stopped feeling it. Rage again was pacing inside of her, rattling her rib cage like a stuck door, it made purchase on her rib cage and climbed. It climbed up her throat and wrestled with her tongue. She fought it internally trying to swallow the fire that burned her, her rage, her tamed beast turned on her and forced its way to the surface. Rage kept people at bay and those that still stuck around after were thought fit to stay. Rage crept back down crawling back to the darkness that comforted it, to calm it as if to say it will be okay.
By Roxy Wolf3 years ago in Psyche
Embracing The Darkness
She met the darkness as a child and together they had grown. Darkness had filled the void that was left when innocence departed, its soul flying towards the place of healing where all shattered innocent souls go. She likes to believe that is a shining star in the sky waiting for another child to fill with daydreams, magical places and stories of fairies, princes and princesses, enchanted dreams of a world filled with endless possibilities. She hopes that the damage it received is not irreparable, that it is whole and as beautiful as she remembers. The darkness was uncomfortable and heavy when it had first arrived - both unsure of the other. Her body had not rejected it, surprising the darkness. It was tentative at first stretching slowly but as the years passed it touched parts of her and recoiled into itself as if scared of what it found. It waited in silence, until one day she had run to it instead of away from it. The darkness was surprised that she came to it for comfort, that she hid away inside pulling at the tendrils until she was wrapped in them as though the darkness was a blanket, the darkness was safety.
By Roxy Wolf3 years ago in Psyche
Embracing the Darkness
Anger clung to her skin its talons ripping away peeling back the flesh to expose the darkness that lies beneath. Not bone, not blood just rippling currents of black nothingness. Her eyes shifting from shining hazel to dull to nothing but a blank stare. She stopped fighting the emotions that clung to her, spreading inside her, venom dripped from her mouth when she spoke. Shooting daggers at those closest to her. Pushing them away. All the tender voices of those who knew part of the hell she had faced in those rooms, in those places, the hell that corrupted her but never the full truth, never the whole story they needn't know - the darkness that touched her, that invaded her, and each year lay dormant for a period of time before another pain sliced through her. It holds her gently like a mother holding its sleeping babe in its arms. It wraps her in the silky tendrils of darkness, in the stillness, her pain trapped and pushed back, anger and rage warming her in the belly of this beast. The venom kept those closest pushed back. Never close enough to see. The violent darkness that lives inside, the vengeful demon that holds her close to its chest, the only thing that never left her, the darkness never shied from her. It never left her even when everyone else had. The darkness sees her in all her wreckage and gently reminds her that around it she does not need to wear a mask.
By Roxy Wolf3 years ago in Psyche
Just Another Visit
It was late September when I was surprised by one of his spontaneous visits; I had been practicing hurdles and 200-meter sprints with my track coach after school with my teammates. Some of my friends were smiling and their eyes twinkled as they looked past my shoulders, curious I spun around.
By ROCK aka Andrea Polla (Simmons)3 years ago in Psyche
The Adjustment Process
As of November 4th, 2022, I will be travelling back to Ohio to live back with my family. I will have the basement studio apartment and work on the paperwork to have my husband back with me.
By Emily Curry (Rising Phoenix)3 years ago in Psyche
I Don’t Want To Be Crazy Anymore
Crazy. It’s an ugly word. No doubt, many will chastise me for using it. Let them come. I’m not describing someone else. I’m not describing mental illness. Crazy is how I feel, and no other word comes close.
By Scott Ninneman3 years ago in Psyche
Grief Is Funny Like That
I never expected him to actually finish anything. He was always leaving. I always picture him with a suitcase in his hand. Sometimes I wonder what he would look like now. When I close my eyes I still see his smile and I swear I could smell him, Well him before the shooting. I dream of him sometimes and he's smiling and walking toward me and then I wake up. I wake up happy then reality sets in. For a long time, I wasn't able to talk about it. Even thinking about his death made me sick to my stomach. Sometimes thinking about it still makes me sick to my stomach almost nine years later. I thought that I would be less traumatized by it after all of these years but I'm not. I'm still that traumatized 17-year-old who just lost her best friend to gun violence. Things can change in a heartbeat. If we didn't walk down that street at that time he would still be here. I would still have my best friend here. But I can't change that. It took me years to stop blaming myself. Somedays I still blame myself or I blame God. Not the actual person who murdered him.
By Nat 3 years ago in Psyche
My Thoughts about 'Geek Girls Don't Cry'- part one
Can I say this out loud? Wow! This book is incredible! Incredibly well-done! Great for all ages of girls & women. I got a copy of this book before my 31st birthday. Back in the Holidays of 2018, I saw some updates about that new book that Marisha Ray & Andrea Towers are doing something about how to be a strong & an amazing role model in real life just like the pop culture heroines. I’m like Marisha, I had been through so many gender stigmas about games & superheroes. I grew up with all kinds of outstanding things including NES (Nintendo Entertainment System), Power Rangers, X men, etc. I would like to share how I overcame my fears, trauma, isolation, grief, and adversity after I read each chapter from Geek Girls Don’t Cry. Ready? Here we go!
By Meghan LeVaughn 3 years ago in Psyche
I’m a plane riddled with bullets, and so are most survivors
***Trigger warning: I talk about abuse and trauma in this blog.*** There’s a type of rage only people who’ve been abused understand. It’s both dissociative and full of ancestral fury; silent but always present. Sometimes it lays dormant like winter in our veins, and sometimes it rips through us like a match struck against our scars.
By Jodi Nicholls3 years ago in Psyche
Best Tips for Stress-Free Living
Stress is a response that triggers when you feel threatened and is an important signal to your body that something needs to change in order to keep you safe. In the short term, stress is not something that you want to avoid at all costs. Acute stress responses are perfectly healthy as they help us deal with challenging situations, such as a job interview or public speaking event. In these instances, stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol are released in small amounts while our body readies itself for action. However, if stress becomes chronic and we aren’t able to cope with it effectively, then its prolonged presence can have negative effects on our ability to function optimally. Chronic stress has even been shown to have an impact on our immune system and risk for developing diseases such as anxiety, depression, Alzheimer’s disease, and arthritis.
By PP3 years ago in Psyche
Goodbye
Goodbye. Farewell. Hasta-la-vista. They are supposed to be sad. They are supposed to be painful. But what happens when they are unplanned, unscheduled bouts of chaos?
By The Schizophrenic Mom3 years ago in Psyche
At Some Point, You Have To Own Your Shit
One common thing in life we share as human beings is the ability to be hurt. I don’t mean falling down and scraping our knees. I’m talking about being really, really hurt. Stuff that affects us negatively as adults.
By The Mouthy Renegade Writer3 years ago in Psyche