Sunchild

Let’s start from the beginning. I have no childhood memories with my mom before the age of 5; at least to my remembrance. My siblings and I were placed in the Department of Family and Children Services. My brother, Titus and I went to a foster home on the west side of Atlanta. I was a little over two years old. We continued to reside there for the next 4-5 years. We shared the home with 7-8 children at a time sometimes.

Ms. Hattie was an older woman in her late 60’s. She was very short, about 5 feet tall, give or take an inch. She was really sweet. You could tell she had a big heart, so much sometimes that it would overwhelm her. Her door was always open to every foster child that walked up her brown brick steps. “Time to eat!” yelled Yashira. Everyone nearly ran over each other trying to get in line to be seated at the dinner table. Those were our favorite words. We loved Ms. Hattie’s cooking. She always made big meals. “Everybody sit down and no elbows on my table, Orianna” said Ms. Hattie. I quickly took my elbows off in hopes that she would give me seconds. I never made it to the second plates though. My eyes have always been bigger than my stomach. “Bow your heads and close your eyes” Ms. Hattie said sternly. “God is great, God is good. Let us thank him for our food. Amen” we all said in unison. I could barely wait to dig in; the smothered chicken with rice, black eye peas, green beans, and cornbread smelled so scrumptious.

After dinner we all lined up in front of the bathroom to wash our hands. We had TV time up until 7:00pm. The girls would bathe first, then the boys after. It was bedtime at 8:00 pm. Ms. Hattie always made sure we said our night prayers before we fell asleep. Little did she know the things she was protecting me from at night. Those were the typical days for us. The older kids would wake up early for school. I would stay home with her daughter or son while she ran errands. She had a middle aged son, Leonard, who had frequent run in’s with the law. When he would bond out he would come live with her.

One night after we had dinner and went to bed, I had fallen asleep and was awakened to the touch of someone reaching their hands down my pants. It was very dark in the room so it wasn’t until he spoke that I knew it was Leonard. I gasped and he quickly covered his hand with my mouth. “Shhh, it’s okay. Doesn’t that feel good? Do you want some ice-cream? , he asked. I replied yes, confused and excited about making someone proud enough to give me ice-cream in the middle of the night. I followed him out of the room into the hallway tip toeing. I could hear Ms. Hattie lightly snoring with her T.V on. The floorboards creaked as we walked in silence. We went into the kitchen and Leonard hushed me as he went to go into the freezer. I stood there in my nightgown as he kneeled to give me my “prize”. In my innocence I was distracted from the fact that he was taking what was most precious. “Here is your ice cream pumpkin. “ He hurriedly opened the wrapper and forced it into my hands. I took it and began to eat it. My banana ice cream was starting to melt from the warmth in the house. So he threw it in the trash to avoid having to clean the mess up off the kitchen floor.

We went into the dining room and he laid me on a pallet on the floor. He lies on top of me, his body smelling of beer, stale cigarettes, and sweat. He slid my underwear off and began to fondle me while rubbing his erection through his pants. I still was not aware that he was molesting me. At that age, I had yet to be taught the difference between good touch and bad touch. Then he laid on top on me, I smelled beer, cigarettes, and sweat. He rubbed himself on my private back and forth before ejaculating. “Can you keep a secret,” he asked while using a towel to clean me up. “Pinky promise? We can have fun every night and you can have whatever you want.” “Yes, I promise.” I said while I held out my pinky. That night I went to sleep but I had no idea how much that incident would change my life. He had robbed me of my innocence. The next day proceeded as any other day. When I saw Leonard he walked past me as if nothing had happened the night before. He ended up disappearing and I overheard the grown-ups talking about him being in jail. I never mentioned what happened that night and my days continued as a young toddler.

My life forever changed.