Renzo & Piper's New Year's Eve Party... 🪩🥳🕺🏾💃🏾

Hi All!

It's Doll Mommy here! How was your New Year's Eve? Did you break out your old Beastie Boys records and get down with the Soul Train get down on the 31st? 🕺🏾💃🏾Paul Revere still slaps! 😁🫶🏾

That was a rhetorical question; I know better than most that you are an avid partygoer/dancer that lights up any party like the Big Dipper 🌌 lights up the inky black night sky when you walk through the door. 

Just please make sure that you don't turn up too much and end up on Cops 🚓 again this time for your lack of rhythm and questionable dance skills. 

Remember, even if we are nearing AARP status 👵🏾, our mommas are still watching.

Besides, with this thirty million dollar a month mortgage that I'm paying, I don't have any money left over to pay for a stick of celery, let alone to provide you with any moula 💲 for bail, so you would be technically marinating & possibly rotting in the slammer for the next 30 years if you are waiting for me to monetarily help you out of your jam! lol 😂

🎶Bad Boys, Bad Girls, whatchu gonna do? Whatchu gonna do when the bail is asked of you? I am broker than the tip of a cheap pencil; therefore, whose gonna actually be able to help you out, friend? Certainly not, Madame Doll Mommy! The end! 🎶 Lol 🤣

Forgive me for getting sidetracked; I am texting to tell you about the doll kids' "epic" New Year's Eve.

About a week ago a handful of my doll kids (at least the few that weren't on restriction for streaking the crowd at Howard University's Homecoming) went to fraternal twins Renzo Ribisi (the town lothario) & Piper Ribisi's (video vixen in training) New Year's Eve b-day party. 

Take a look at the lothario and the video girl. They both turned 20:

Of course Renzo pimp-walked into the party with a vanilla and chocolate chickadee on each arm. I guess he has a thing for ballerinas. Take a look:

Let's hope both gals come to their senses quickly about becoming future sister wives and expeditiously pirouette out of Renzo's life for good.

And poor Piper... Her outfit is super cute, but if she bends down to open her car door, she'll moon the whole town. Take a look:

I guess I should cut Piper some slack. In 1994, I almost mooned my peers when I wore mini Daisy Dukes for the first & last time. Fortunately, my grandma was waiting outside of my bedroom door with her switch in hand. Needless to say, I ended up wearing an ankle-length skirt to Rick Henry Christopher's barbecue that afternoon instead.

In other news, the doll kids received the surprise of their lives at Renzo & Piper's birthday party. Apparently the popular inspirational singer Jaliyah Haughton, first cousin of the R&B legend & beautiful songbird Aaliyah Haughton came through and gave Renzo & Piper a surprise performance.

Jaliyah & Aaliyah Haughton always reminded me of those quirky teens on the Patty Duke show, you know, the groovy identical twin cousins that looked like perfect mirror images of one another.

What say you, family? Do the girls look alike? Aaliyah is on the left; Jaliyah is on the right. They make me want to loudly say, "Sistah! Sistah!!" Look at them both looking like Tia & Tamera the 2nds! 👯‍♀️ 🤣

You know what, family? To this day, I am still confused by the Patty Duke show! How does one become a biologically identical twin cousin? Lol Hollywood needs to hold a major L for that concept! 😂👎🏾

But I digress... 😁 

Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond my control, I couldn't be present in person to be a chaperone at Renzo & Piper's birthday party at the 707 club because I broke my ankle trying the new TikTok trend of vacuuming in red stilettos 👠on New Year's Eve morning, but you best believe that I always have backup private investigators 🕵🏾‍♀️on deck for emergencies.

I know that you're probably wondering how I received my party intel. Well, Kylah Travis, someone that I almost pledged to Delta Sigma Theta with back in the day helped me out. Kylah T is Jaliyah Haughton's background singer/violinist and as compensation for her expert spy services, I gifted Kylah with a brand new $550,000💸 pink, faux-skunk fur coat from Paris that my ex-husband Ghost recently gifted me as a peace offering for Christmas. I would never wear skunk fur due to its funky-cbd odor & the desperate thot pocket aura attached to it but Kylah was thrilled to take it off my hands and was willing to wear a high-tech pair of pink spy shades fitted with an internal hidden video camera on the front of her hat to capture all of the secret footage of my doll children on the prowl without momma bear and boy did she NOT disappoint with the footage! 😁

Take a look at Kylah in action with her pink spy glasses attached to her hipster hat! That's my dawg! 🐶 She went the extra mile 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾:

And here is Kylah's new jacket! I don't see the appeal, but if she likes it, I love it 😁: 

Welp, family, I better go! My foot is aching something awful so I've got to go bathe my ankle in hot Epsom salt and apple cider vinegar water to draw some of the soreness out. We'll finish this important talk later! I still didn't get a chance to share what Kylah & I found on her spy video. I'll get into that in the next text, I promise...

Sincerely,

Your favorite gossip partner & secret keeper, Doll Mommy! 💕

P.S. It looks like we won't be completing our NO more Red Bull resolution until January 1st of 2027! K, family? The new Raspberry Cheesecake flavor is out right now, and it is poppin', so I won't be abandoning ship on the RBs just yet! Please don't fire me as your bestie. I'll do better with my resolve when the time is right! Okay?  lol 😘

Hi Vocal Fam! I'm still on a Vocal break but this Barbie story would not let go so I'm dropping it off with you! Lol Take care friends! I'll check back in when I can! 🫶🏾