Start Again

Every day is a challenge for me.

Six months ago I lost my job due to downsizing to improve profits for the company. There were no redundancy payments for me or the others, we were sacked for "not doing our jobs" but they wouldn't tell us what we hadn't done.

At the same time my landlord and a lot of others doubled my rent, which I could not afford with no wage, and waiting for unemployment pay to come through. I had nowhere to go so all my possessions and I were out on the street, which meant I lost everything.

Being homeless I could not apply for a job or social security payments.

One of the problems with this situation is that a lot of travel and form filling is required, and with no money, having to carry all your possessions in a rucksack life becomes almost impossible, relying on tips and reduced to begging.

Dignity is not an option.

Applying for grants and help and somewhere to stay always results in rejection, "The computer says no", "You used the wrong colour of ink on your application", "You don't have an address".

So I slept under railway arches to shelter from the cold and the rain, but I knew that a freezing night was coming., I needed somewhere with better shelter.

Sometimes I feel like smashing something, getting caught shoplifting just so I can have a bed for the night but then that gives me a criminal record, although this government are pushing to make homelessness a criminal offence. It is their mishandling of the economy that has made me and thousands of others homeless.

A local hostel charges £4 for a bed and a breakfast of tea and toast.

I rattled my cup, there was about three quid in it, nearly enough for a night in the hostel. Then this guy stops.

He says "I'm really sorry mate, I have no change. That's the problem these days no one carries any money these days"

I knew that that wasn;t totally true, but at least he acknowledged me and my situation.

He pulled his wallet out and said "Fuck, I' ve got a tenner, so I do have some money"

I said if you could get some change and get me four quid for the hostel, it's gonna freeze tonight"

He said "I don't have much time, sod it just take the tenner. That might do you for a few nights"

He handed me the tenner, I took it knowing he had saved my life, I would have a warm bed to sleep in.

I thanked him and he walked off.

I had enough money for three nights at the hostel and a quid left over.

After that, I don't know what I can do but I might nip to the council or citizen's advice to see if I can do something to get my life back on track.

You know, a small act of kindness can really buck you up and make you feel that life is not impossible. I don't know who that guy was, but I am thankful for the help he gave me. He was an absolute lifesaver.

Addendum

This is based on something that actually happened to me (although it has been adapted so is fictional), it was on Christmas in Eldon Square. My bus had just pulled up, it was a cold night and a homeless guy was telling me he needed money for a shelter for the night. I only had a tenner and was in a rush so gave it to him. He seemed shocked but I hope he did get somewhere to stay that night.