Re-Introducing Myself

I am a mother of two happy, healthy, and adorable children who happens to also have schizophrenia. I enjoy writing and enjoy to write about motherhood, mental health, religious views, and other random “adulting” subjects here on this blog as well as publishing books on the subject (Whispers of Strength, Whispers of Prayer) and publishing science fiction books: (Time In Space, Return to Space). I hope and pray that I can make a difference in the views of others who seem to agree with all of the articles in a Google search engine that talk about how horrible it is to know or be a schizophrenic – let alone have one be a mother.

It has been a bit since I first started the idea of The Schizophrenic Mom as a business, so we will start with my original 5 thoughts:

"1. These are my thoughts and opinions and personal story. It might not be the same for everyone because we are all unique human beings full of erroneous observations." This one is still very true. I've had many erroneous observations lately in my own personal story and having to change my thought patterns to account for being oh so wrong about certain choices I made.

"2. Schizophrenia can be scary – just like anything can. I’m sure that a lot of the stories I choose to share will be happier and sillier in nature because a simple Google search will tell you everything negative about the disease. However, I will also share stories about things I have struggled with because, in real life, there are positives and negatives every single day, in every single action, and in every single choice." I have to say that I think that I have held this true... but I also know that I have felt restricted in telling things exactly how they are. I worry that negatives can be used against me, but when asked why? The answer keeps going back to a few specific individuals who I am doing my best to no longer associate with, so I am doing my best to write the good and bad equally and just be transparent - especially with myself. My "bad" feelings are not bad - what is subjectively good or bad is how you deal with them and the choices you make that affect other people.

"3. I have a great support team and would recommend one for everyone. Supports are awesome when you are human, amazing when you are a mother, and crucial if you are struggling with any kind of mental illness. If you need help finding a professional support system to start you off right, don’t be afraid to reach out to any of these services from the National Alliance on Mental Illness." This is still very true! I had to redo the link though...

"4. My entire goal is to provide the best possible life for my kids. In order to do this, I have to write about things that are meaningful to me. Vocal gives me a platform to be heard, where I can, hopefully, make some money if anyone is interested in reading my work, and it allows my privacy to be protected. I want my children to have the option to have a normal life instead of just being the crazy lady’s kids… or as much of a chance as I can give them since I don’t hide my craziness very well. *giggles* So, please, if some how you figure out what my real name is (not that you wouldn’t have guessed that it wasn’t “The Schizophrenic Mom!” *wink*), respect my family’s wishes for our personal space." My goal is still to provide the best possible life for my kids. I write to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper so that I am not trying to hold onto everything as much - and it is a great coping skill for the anxiety that I have. Last year, the choice was made to no longer be anonymous - and thankfully I can relate that the important people in our lives accept my "craziness" (and even encourage it!!! haha). So, I am Adora Hooper as The Schizophrenic Mom and this is simply... me and my life.

"5. And last, but not least, I hope that you enjoy reading what I share without judging me too harshly. We are all humans and all make mistakes every now and then. I might not be proud of all of my choices, but I also wouldn’t change the past because, without the past, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Learn from history, remember history, and create more history wherever you are!" I needed to reread this at this point in my life. I have grown a lot in the past 3 years, and the growth has brought about some negative changes... but overall? My life is better now than 3 years ago. *smile* Keep your head up and keep marching on!

Now for some of my other current titles: I am a...

• delusional gardener
• holder of several awards from college - including one for public speaking! *shock*
• dog mom
• cat mom
• owner and partner to an amazing service miniature horse
• extremely happy to be single, but not married to it... ;-)
• abuse survivor
• reader
• niece, grand-daughter, daughter, cousin...

And so many more!!!

I decided to start The Schizophrenic Mom as a way to help decrease stigma surrounding schizophrenia and it aligns well with the things I enjoy writing about: mental health, motherhood, awareness and accountability, as well as just real life. Vocal also gives me the freedom to practice writing about different subjects and using different styles (like poetry) with their challenges. *smile*

My schizophrenia is well managed with the help of my professional circle as well as some really good friends who help pick me up whenever I get myself into some trouble. *smile* In the past 3 years, I graduated from some mental health programs as I was able to be successful at holding onto my coping skills without as much added support.

Now, you are probably wondering what schizophrenia looks like for me. *smile* If I am doing well and not stressed out, I have several “invisible friends” who are people – they have names, faces, bodies, back-stories, the whole nine yards! They have been around since I can remember.

Then there are my spiders: they are neon green furry giant creatures that showed up after I was hospitalized in 2015. They are about 6 foot across and as tall as I am... thankfully they don't scare me even though I am not a huge fan of spiders in real life. And there is my giant python, Slither, who followed me home from a trip in 2019. She is big enough that she occasionally wants to eat a vehicle... but she is nice with a sarcastic side.

Then there is the headless horseman (with his horse) who can somehow talk through the helmet on his suit of armor, but claims that he doesn’t have a head. His spear is a machine gun by the way! Totally cool! He showed up after someone in authority scared me on my property when he told me that I didn’t have the right to feel safe in my own home.

One of my newest hallucinations has been a dragon. She is beautiful, but doesn't speak much. She is black with scales that show colors like Labradorite crystal and instead of breathing fire, she breathes ice. She started coming around each and every time there was a major change in my life several months ago... and when it is over, she leaves. It is a very interesting shift as far as my hallucinations go.

They sometimes interact with me, but often they are just around me. They are friends, acquaintances, protectors, and (whether or not I like it) a major part of my life. Even when they are just around me like people around you in a busy store, they are still here.

The more stressed out I am, the more negative my hallucinations get. The positive ones fade away and the negative ones start to appear… zombie-ghost-like creatures that claw and scratch at me as they try to murder me, skeletons that fall from out of nowhere or trip me when they appear on the ground, and black shadow creatures that make my skin crawl in terror as they speak. Thankfully, this change is fairly gradual and I have a long list of ways to relieve the stress before the terrible hallucinations start.

This is my life. Read and enjoy. Read and learn. Read and laugh. Read and cry. Share it if it means something to you, like it if you find it helpful or entertaining, and comment if you have anything that you would like to know more about. *smile* I am a fairly open book - kinda literally! *giggles*