My Social Anxiety story

Hi, My Social anxiety journey started one day back a couple of years ago when I was sat in a church service and I was suddenly aware that people were watching me or so it felt. No matter how much I tried to push the through the feelings wouldn't go away .

The back of my shoulder blades felt as if they were burning from peoples eyes. I wanted to hide in a cupboard or anywhere that wasn't where i was and yet i also felt stuck to the floor. It was as if my feet had been superglued to the floor, but also I was having thoughts that if i moved everyone would know why I was moving.

I did nothing with this feeling and ended up just standing or sitting like a statue for the rest of the meeting. I felt horrible and couldn't tell anyone as i at the time didn't know what i was experiencing.

It took a couple of months of me to feel and experience this a few more times and it to progress to other areas of my life. Like driving the car and being paranoid that all drivers were watching me and waiting for me to make a mistake.

I realised now that this wasn't healthy but I was in denial and hoped it would go away. Obviously anxiety doesn't go away on its own until we deal with the root issue and learn a different way to respond to it.

After a couple of months I came out of denial and googled what I was experiencing and found out thanks to the wonders of internet, I was suffering from social anxiety. Now you would think that at this point I would speak out to someone and tell them.

No, anxiety has a way of making you believe that no one would believe and think that you were mad and put you away. Of course this is not true in any instance, but the lies anxiety wants us to believe are many.

It took another couple of months for me to gain courage to even tell one of my friends that I was struggling and what was going on. This was the point of me facing reality and coming to terms that hoping it would go away and it will pass and I could deal with it on my own hit.

If you are feeling any of what I have written about and it is your secret, I understand that telling someone is really scary and the anxiety will be overwhelming at times but it is the start of dealing with it.

In my next story I will start to share what I did next and a couple of stories of when I experienced bad anxiety. Keep tuned in.