The Darkest Night, The Coldest Days

The Darkest Night, The Coldest Days

I held on when you had already left,

and I hate that about myself,

I begged for crumbs like love was bread,

watching you turn away and smile

while I starved.

The darkest night was not the silence,

it was me, awake and shaking,

staring at my phone,

praying your name would light the screen,

but it never did.

The coldest days came after,

I walked in shadows of what we were,

ashamed I called that loving,

ashamed I called that home.

I lost myself to keep you,

but you never tried to keep me,

and I still taste that truth,

bitter as winter on my tongue.

I loved you more than I should have,

and you loved me less than you could,

and that is my heart’s most painful fact,

the goodbye I never got to speak.

Now I admit my tears for you,

hard words for any man to say,

but they are mine,

and I no longer hide from them.