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That Bitter Pill

Poem.

By Paul StewartPublished 11 months ago Updated 11 months ago 1 min read

bitter pill

one I take

one I hate

bitter pill

that sticks

in my throat

before I even

remove it from

blister pack

revulsion comes

before I touch

bitter pill

one I take

one I hate

it helps me

it mends me

but before

it soothes me

it ruins me

that bitter pill

the mere thought

the mere feel

the blister pack

the lab-born

solution to the

devastation

internal my angst

but

psychosomatic

the reflect/reflex

even before I

swallow it whole

twice

the acridity

the inevitability

I know I

need it

but still I

loathe it

that bitter pill

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: Poem. Self-explanatory, I feel? Aside from the negativity and stigma attached to mental health and anti-depressants, and the feeling that needing something to correct/heal/soothe something beyond your control, this is also a poem about how much I loathe taking the pills for the taste they leave in my mouth. The mere thought of it, when I know it's time, and writing this, was one of the worst things I've written in terms of my reaction to it. Thinking about it.

Here are other things.

artFree VerseheartbreakMental Healthsad poetryStream of Consciousness

About the Creator

Paul Stewart

Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.

The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!

Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!

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Comments (22)

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  • Tiffany Gordon10 months ago

    Nicely-penned Paul! I empathize with you! You may have to eat a jolly rancher before and after or whatever candy suits your fancy! Butterscotch might be a good choice! Lol

  • Excellent poem… vividly portrays your sentiments towards the tablets 😬. I easily swallow larger tablets but tiny ones now tend to get stuck 😵‍💫… all worth it though for good health ✅🙃.

  • ThatWriterWoman11 months ago

    Oooof sertraline can be a rough one! I am on 75mg a day of the stuff and I am hoping to come off it some day! I related hard to this!

  • Grz Colm11 months ago

    I feel like you have written something similar before..l distinctly remember you talking about the taste of meds! Hmm… unless it was in conversation. I think I’ve tried all the the pills lol. They don’t work for me alone or altogether. How long did you go off for.. Gather you are feeling better now… ..my cocktail is absurd - that is significantly why I can’t function in life and in vocal. Hah. Gonna maybe add another one in the mix because I’m a glutton for punishment. Just really exhausted of it all really. I saw this excellent little film Hard Truths by Mike Leigh. I’m determined NOT to turn into the lead in that film! 😅 Have you watched any of his films before.. kinda tragi-comedies (and an acquired taste I expect..). 🙂

  • Marie381Uk 11 months ago

    I took this again in January, after feeling down. I only had two weeks of it and stopped it. I felt I couldn’t breathe and little like brain fogs that came on fast for a few seconds but made me dizzy. It frightened me so I stopped again it used to work I called it a happy pill not any more it’s wicked. ✍️🏆⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

  • Katarzyna Popiel11 months ago

    When it comes to pills, I share the sentiment. Very thankful for not having to take any. But, if there is no other choice, you do what you have to do. Onwards and upwards!

  • D.K. Shepard11 months ago

    There are those ones that no matter how quick you are the gross taste always results. Thought the short clipped lines worked really well in this!

  • Ruth Stewart11 months ago

    I'm sorry it's bitter. It makes things easier for you though, and more fun. It also helps the rest of us. Well written.

  • I'd rather have my meds as pills than a syrup. Bitter syrup is wayyyy worse. Loved your poem!

  • Calvin London11 months ago

    Maybe take it with some juice to try and mask the taste. When I was younger, I suffered badly from migraine headaches. The treatment was a pill called Megadon or something like that. It was a big pill like a pregnant smartie, but you had to chew it. It was as bitter as all hell and made you worse from the experience, in my opinion, so I would just suffer through the migraines.

  • John Cox11 months ago

    I view prepackaged cures in much the same way I think of my glasses. They’re annoying as hell but a whole lot better than wandering around half-blind. The brain is an insanely complex organ that depending upon a thousand different complex factors can give any one of us more trouble and aggravation than is easily imagined. It’s a confounded miracle that it functions as well as it does! All that being said, I loved your poem and I love that your not afraid to turn this into art!

  • angela hepworth11 months ago

    A powerful, emotional depiction, Paul!

  • I'm supposed to take 21 pills a day (2 of them antidepressants), but since I have no taste in anything, they don't bother me much, lol.

  • Caroline Craven11 months ago

    Love your description about it being a lab born solution. I wish the scientists would be able to prescribe sunshine and happiness with zero side effects. This was great - well done.

  • sleepy drafts11 months ago

    I was on Sertraline for years and years and hated the feeling you're describing. Or when the capsule would break too early >:( Lol. Some bitter side effects for sure.

  • Alyssa Musso11 months ago

    Very relatable as a fellow sertraline user, Paul! I probably should have started taking it for anxiety years ago, but put it off since I dislike relying on medication. But it's important to take care of your mental health, with or without medication, even with the bitter-tasting side effects.

  • Cathy holmes11 months ago

    .....and then it gets stuck in your throat, and you're hacking like a cat with furball. Bleeeccchh! Sorry, did I just turn your stomach? I didn't mean to, I swear. 😜

  • JBaz11 months ago

    Why is there still a stigma for taking something that helps? Personal or social angst? I’m no different in regards to thinking it is bitter sweet, but know if it truly helps then it’s ok.

  • Lightning Bolt ⚡11 months ago

    I can do relate!! I take pills for being bipolar, for having seizures, and for prostate cancer. The bipolar pills are relatively new and I *need* them (I really need them all) but damn. They come with a bunch of bitter side effects. Awesome poem about what it's like to be chained to awful correctives. Many Blessings to You, Sir. ⚡💙⚡

  • Mother Combs11 months ago

    🩷I've one or two pills I have to take that I hate that I have to take <3 I can't take Sertaline because of my heart pills.

  • Caitlin Charlton11 months ago

    A love hate relationship with the thing that promised to help you… but first, let it ruin you. Very deep, raw and expressive. A bitter pill that I enjoyed reading for its poetic qualities and to better understand your struggles. I can sympathise. I’ve been afraid to go on antidepressant, I needed them a couple days ago, but never went ahead to book an appointment. I died a thousand times, inside, so I am surprised that today I am okay, here’s to you feeling better on those bitter pills. Very well written Paul 👌🏽👏🏽

  • Rachel Deeming11 months ago

    I get it. Bittersweet indeed.

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