
bitter pill
one I take
one I hate
bitter pill
that sticks
in my throat
before I even
remove it from
blister pack
revulsion comes
before I touch
bitter pill
one I take
one I hate
it helps me
it mends me
but before
it soothes me
it ruins me
that bitter pill
the mere thought
the mere feel
the blister pack
the lab-born
solution to the
devastation
internal my angst
but
psychosomatic
the reflect/reflex
even before I
swallow it whole
twice
the acridity
the inevitability
I know I
need it
but still I
loathe it
that bitter pill
*
Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: Poem. Self-explanatory, I feel? Aside from the negativity and stigma attached to mental health and anti-depressants, and the feeling that needing something to correct/heal/soothe something beyond your control, this is also a poem about how much I loathe taking the pills for the taste they leave in my mouth. The mere thought of it, when I know it's time, and writing this, was one of the worst things I've written in terms of my reaction to it. Thinking about it.
Here are other things.
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
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Comments (22)
Nicely-penned Paul! I empathize with you! You may have to eat a jolly rancher before and after or whatever candy suits your fancy! Butterscotch might be a good choice! Lol
Excellent poem… vividly portrays your sentiments towards the tablets 😬. I easily swallow larger tablets but tiny ones now tend to get stuck 😵💫… all worth it though for good health ✅🙃.
Oooof sertraline can be a rough one! I am on 75mg a day of the stuff and I am hoping to come off it some day! I related hard to this!
I feel like you have written something similar before..l distinctly remember you talking about the taste of meds! Hmm… unless it was in conversation. I think I’ve tried all the the pills lol. They don’t work for me alone or altogether. How long did you go off for.. Gather you are feeling better now… ..my cocktail is absurd - that is significantly why I can’t function in life and in vocal. Hah. Gonna maybe add another one in the mix because I’m a glutton for punishment. Just really exhausted of it all really. I saw this excellent little film Hard Truths by Mike Leigh. I’m determined NOT to turn into the lead in that film! 😅 Have you watched any of his films before.. kinda tragi-comedies (and an acquired taste I expect..). 🙂
I took this again in January, after feeling down. I only had two weeks of it and stopped it. I felt I couldn’t breathe and little like brain fogs that came on fast for a few seconds but made me dizzy. It frightened me so I stopped again it used to work I called it a happy pill not any more it’s wicked. ✍️🏆⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
When it comes to pills, I share the sentiment. Very thankful for not having to take any. But, if there is no other choice, you do what you have to do. Onwards and upwards!
There are those ones that no matter how quick you are the gross taste always results. Thought the short clipped lines worked really well in this!
I'm sorry it's bitter. It makes things easier for you though, and more fun. It also helps the rest of us. Well written.
I'd rather have my meds as pills than a syrup. Bitter syrup is wayyyy worse. Loved your poem!
Maybe take it with some juice to try and mask the taste. When I was younger, I suffered badly from migraine headaches. The treatment was a pill called Megadon or something like that. It was a big pill like a pregnant smartie, but you had to chew it. It was as bitter as all hell and made you worse from the experience, in my opinion, so I would just suffer through the migraines.
I view prepackaged cures in much the same way I think of my glasses. They’re annoying as hell but a whole lot better than wandering around half-blind. The brain is an insanely complex organ that depending upon a thousand different complex factors can give any one of us more trouble and aggravation than is easily imagined. It’s a confounded miracle that it functions as well as it does! All that being said, I loved your poem and I love that your not afraid to turn this into art!
A powerful, emotional depiction, Paul!
I'm supposed to take 21 pills a day (2 of them antidepressants), but since I have no taste in anything, they don't bother me much, lol.
Love your description about it being a lab born solution. I wish the scientists would be able to prescribe sunshine and happiness with zero side effects. This was great - well done.
I was on Sertraline for years and years and hated the feeling you're describing. Or when the capsule would break too early >:( Lol. Some bitter side effects for sure.
Very relatable as a fellow sertraline user, Paul! I probably should have started taking it for anxiety years ago, but put it off since I dislike relying on medication. But it's important to take care of your mental health, with or without medication, even with the bitter-tasting side effects.
.....and then it gets stuck in your throat, and you're hacking like a cat with furball. Bleeeccchh! Sorry, did I just turn your stomach? I didn't mean to, I swear. 😜
Why is there still a stigma for taking something that helps? Personal or social angst? I’m no different in regards to thinking it is bitter sweet, but know if it truly helps then it’s ok.
I can do relate!! I take pills for being bipolar, for having seizures, and for prostate cancer. The bipolar pills are relatively new and I *need* them (I really need them all) but damn. They come with a bunch of bitter side effects. Awesome poem about what it's like to be chained to awful correctives. Many Blessings to You, Sir. ⚡💙⚡
🩷I've one or two pills I have to take that I hate that I have to take <3 I can't take Sertaline because of my heart pills.
A love hate relationship with the thing that promised to help you… but first, let it ruin you. Very deep, raw and expressive. A bitter pill that I enjoyed reading for its poetic qualities and to better understand your struggles. I can sympathise. I’ve been afraid to go on antidepressant, I needed them a couple days ago, but never went ahead to book an appointment. I died a thousand times, inside, so I am surprised that today I am okay, here’s to you feeling better on those bitter pills. Very well written Paul 👌🏽👏🏽
I get it. Bittersweet indeed.