Rewriting Relationship Command Code

This year, I have almost completely cut off contact with most of my friends.

It wasn't a dramatic falling out, but rather a gradual fading of ties. After seeing some people for who they truly are, I felt there was no longer any point in maintaining the relationship.

Recently, I’ve seen people say that in this day and age, "having no friends is a blessing." I’m not sure if it’s a blessing, but since I started exploring my inner self, I’ve become more accepting of loneliness—even feeling that it is inevitable.

My relationships generally fell into three categories.

First, there were the friends I used to hang out with. After I withdrew from social life and my lifestyle changed, contact naturally ceased. We shared no intellectual connection; we only knew how to have "fun" together. Now, if we met again, we probably wouldn't know what to talk about. I can no longer provide the specific emotional value they used to seek from me, so the end of the relationship felt natural.

Second, there were the relationships where I felt "taken advantage of." I’ve known some of these people for a long time, and we understand each other well, but the dynamic was always one-sided. I was the one actively maintaining the bond. I often felt like I was "offering a warm heart to a cold shoulder"; when they didn't need me, they completely forgot I existed. Because I am a sentimental person, I valued them much more than they valued me.

The third type were friends who weren't inherently "bad," but who spoke harshly and disregarded others' feelings. These people made me feel disrespected. I noticed they would never speak that way to elders, superiors, or people they truly cared about—so why did they think they could speak that way to me? This sense of disrespect accumulated over time until I felt repulsed by the idea of meeting them. Eventually, I simply lost the energy to reply.

Currently, I only maintain contact with two types of friends:

The Spiritual Communion: This is a connection based on shared growth. There is distance and clear boundaries; we share learning experiences and discuss personal development without draining one another.

The Relaxed Relationship: These are simple, reciprocal bonds. We share funny videos and reply to every message thoughtfully. If I am kind to her, she reciprocates. If I pick her up, she buys me a drink. This kind of warmth makes the relationship worth continuing.

Recently, I’ve been reading Life’s Command Code, and I believe these changes represent me breaking down old relationship patterns and rewriting my own code. I don’t want to waste my time and emotions on people who disrespect me. I don’t want to force myself into social situations just to avoid loneliness. I don’t want to tolerate comments that make me uncomfortable for the sake of being "polite."

Being alone is the most comfortable, energy-efficient, and authentic way for me to face myself.

I once heard someone explain the phrase "Hell is other people." She said that for her, anyone who gets too close makes her uncomfortable. I understand that completely. Especially for highly sensitive people, it is easy to sense the subtle malice in others. Over time, that awareness cuts off the desire and the courage to continue the relationship at its source.

That is my current state. I don’t run away, and I don’t force things. I just accept it.

Thank you for reading!