SPELLS OF A RESTLESS NIGHT.

I woke—

not morning—

cold sheets cling—

night’s shadow pressing—

lungs tight—

words stuck,

a scream swallowed whole.

Defeated—

like wet leaves rotting—

who’s out there?

casting spells?

whispers scratch my skin—

a chill crawling.

Ah—ah—

my chest —

a weight crushing—

again—

the mirror’s lie—

soft flesh swollen—

ache throbbing deep,

muscles screaming—

should I move?

should I?

doctor’s voice —

a needle’s prick —

please no—

Pant—

gasp—

dry air rasps—

no job—

no hand to hold—

allowed to rest?

but want—

want work—

screen’s glow—

silent keys—

someone — anyone —

Why won’t they?

Need love—

hold me—

hold me—

but love sleep—

alone—

cool sheets brush skin—

ah — ah —

A dog —

warm fur—

heartbeat in the dark—

Wait—

My life—

a garden blooming—

everything—

thank you, God—

once—

less than ten percent—

Why—

not grateful?

Ah—ah—

Can I be more?

More than ache?

Someone—

tell me—

what am I doing wrong?