Neural winds flowing empty
unable to latch on to anything worthy
scouring the land for better rhymes and worldly
ideas, but rime covers neurons, unthawed and murky.
Rivers of Ice with solid surfaces and grand
trees usually in green expanse
but now covered in thin sheets of bland
ice, freezing even the driest of sands.
-
Cleverly placing heavy bars and grading
lines on heavenly feelings and scaling
rhymes on floating words and cadence
shrines the overall feeling, but patience
dines on unknowing people but they once had
time on their side for clearance
of thoughts with perseverance.
-
Now cogs no longer move
The machine no longer looms
Nothing produced, might as well be a tomb
Until something raids and brings back a boom.
About the Creator
Mo Darasi
I write fiction, poetry and occasional articles about interesting topics.
Finding interesting ways to write a poem or hide messages within them seems to be my main interesting in writing now, and it's been fun
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Standing While Falling
Quotation from Friedrich Nietzsche "He who wrestles long with monsters should beware lest he himself become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Man is not destroyed by suffering, but by the meaning he makes of it."
By LUCCIAN LAYTH5 days ago in Critique
Comments (16)
Congrats on your top story.
Very nice. Beautifully written.
Where do I start? From the clever subtitle to the end this is a marvelously creative description of writer's block and a skillfully written poem, to boot. Congratulations on Top Story, Mohammed!
Congratulations on your top story
Excellent story!
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Wow, good post.
Fantastic Top Story! It is well written, expressive, uses great metaphors, and is creative.
Well done on TS!
Congrats on Top Story!🥳🥳🥳
Congratulations 🎉 🎉🎉
"Neural winds flowing empty" . wow
Oooo, that last stanza packed a punch! Loved your poem!
Wow!!!! So much wow. I initially copied “trees usually in green expanse but now covered in thin sheets of bland ice, freezing even the driest of sands” to say that I love the imagery of this, it’s so clever…. But then I read on, and then that entire second verse blew me away completely. The flow, the word choice, the rhymes, the emotion…. Just…. WOW!!!! I felt like I was addressing a massive crowd when reading it aloud…. It felt so powerful…. Well done!
Beautiful! What caught my eye the most was the "Rivers of Ice" (s1,l5) in the poem because it was a place being capitalized.
Inspiring!!!💕❤️❤️