Origami Swan
For Poppy's Prompts #8 August Edition
I am an origami swan
Abandoned in the window.
Unseeing, I sit, waiting to be remembered.
I once was fair, transformed
From flatness, I was made
By careful, creative hands.
Plied and pressed into being
Slowly, intimately,
My folds created a marvel, enticing fingers
For exploration, dissection.
I'd sit in your palm
Admired and scrutinised
As your eyes searched me
With wonder,
My intricacies fascinating.
To you, I was as sweet
As sugar, a treat.
A precious delicate keepsake
Tempting to pull apart.
Placed proudly
For all to see,
The sun once highlighted me;
A spotlight.
*
But now it sucks my colour
Away.
I am a fallen idol keen for rediscovery.
Faded,
My coat of dust detracts from
My regal poise which was once serene.
Now?
A launching pad for a fly,
Surrounded by the husks
Of his dead friends
Their legs inert, skyward,
I long to be sought.
Find me here in this graveyard
In the stark light of day
And lift me again.
Please.
I am the same.
I am as sweet.
Resurrect me in your estimation
And dust me off.
Explore my folds if you must!
But don't leave me to languish
And let me become my own coat of dust.
***
This was written in response to Poppy's Prompt August Edition, link below:
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Comments (17)
Love your take on this!
I loved this, Rachel and the ending perfected it.
This felt like a metaphor for love that's grown stale, the exploring the fold part seems very much like a euphemism (to me) and so my might ran with it!! Beautiful imagery and story telling within this wonderful poem!! Great work Rachel!!
This is a delightful poem with Poppy's prompts! So sweet! I especially like: "By careful, creative hands. Plied and pressed into being Slowly, intimately, My folds created a marvel, enticing fingers For exploration, dissection. I'd sit in your palm Admired and scrutinised As your eyes searched me With wonder,"
This is so cleverly done. I love how you showed the different effects of the sun. How it can be a spotlight or fade things. That was so powerful.
My favourite part was the fly graveyard! Jokes aside, your poem was so poignantly beautiful!
Your work is always so engaging whatever you write!
This is a beautiful piece. Well done.
Such a compelling pleading and pain for an inanimate piece of origami! The dead fly detail was very striking
Damn, this well done Rachel! Delicate, gossamer, sensual and filled with melancholy.
I second Lana, that last line really sticks with you.
What a whimsical, haunting poem. You want so badly to pick up that delicate swan or whisp of paper and dust it off lovingly as if it indeed has sustenance and life. Well done.
Strikingly vivid and poignant! Never has an origami swan carried such beautiful melancholy.
A clever improvisation upon the phrase, "swan song"?
Excellent, Rachel. “let me become my own coat of dust” is a strong last line.
This is a good one. I'm going to read it again 😁
Very well done.