Deadline

I’m going to be sinking

I’m going to be sinking all the time

I’m sinking,

And I’m late, always late

Even when I am on time,

I miss your deadline

I miss your deadline

It’s not enough that I’m not

Good enough

It’s not enough that you tell everyone that

And how I fall behind

And I’m never next to you.

I’m sinking into mediocrity,

(Sinking)Into your never ending appointments

Wherein I know I’ll never be exactly on time for and

When I feel free for a moment, from time

And your scrutiny

You will hold (my)time hostage,

And I’ll be stuck in between the layers

Of time and space,

Never catching up.

Is it because I’m a woman?

Is it because I’m smaller and weaker?

Is it because I’m not smart enough?

Is it because I’m human and fallible?

Or is it because I trusted you,

Sinking into my feelings

Like I always do, and falling

For that promised time?

There’s always a deadline

And I always miss it,

But this time,

I won’t sink into your line of captured

Fear

You won’t draw a line from my destiny

And my heart

And I will create my own deadline—

You can imagine it. Can’t you?

It hurts to finally break free.

But, you’ll see it was you who couldn’t let go of your hold on my time,

And me who just dreamed of standing by your side——

Without sinking under your haunting

Airs.