Art at night, Gregarious, beautiful—-we loved in a stunned state.

so, I didn’t fall in love with you

When I first saw you.

I was thinking about how foolish you were,

And how my ex was telling me that you were unreliable—I held my reservation yet I didn’t know my future with you

Was already frantically trying to catch my eye—-

Like some strange mathematical theory practiced in life:

You were my lurking variable,

And how deep you spread into my very

Veins, how deep your gravely orange and deep

Fiery breath would haunt me——

Would never really surface,

It would hide, you

Would hide.(in your booming laugh and sad eyes)

I remember when I fell in love with you.

It was that night at your house, remember?

When it was late at night,

And we started to draw and create art.

We had nicknames for each other,

And would laugh and listen to Estelle on the radio.

And I knew it then,

Baby,

Oh, I knew it then.

I felt like we’d be together forever, too—-

Because we didn’t match up right at first,

But here we were, mismatching

So perfectly,

And I felt a bit weak

Under your silly spell.

Under that stunned state of euphoric

disintegrated bliss,

I didn’t realize how one sided it accidentally became.

I’d try to catch your eye like you did to me that night,

And you would snub my magical spark,

(It was just not that magical to you)

And my passion coming over to your heart

Would be canceled. No refunds. No exceptions.

No other substitutions, right?

I must’ve canceled it somehow without even knowing it, didn’t I?

Because I only saw how you were with me,

And I felt like you were mine(but you were lurking just beneath my grasp

And I couldn’t see it, no, I only saw your firm grip on my hips)

so, I didn’t fall in love with you

When I first saw you.

But after you left,

I felt like I did.