i anxiously awaited
your next move
in that precious moment
my fingers
lifted from my piece
right then
whilst at the same time
trying so hard to not let
the heebie jeebies
make my mellow yellow
my mind
even more slippery
with its benign by design
teasing
offering nothing pleasing
but a moment of sleazy wheezing
everything is different
holding my pencil funny
i draw a blank
a blank
trying to grasp
that slippery slope
having deftly avoided
the warm gun
the hot posse
and the cold rope
trying to hold
the world
under one arm
and hold myself
under the other
trying just to be
be like any other
i was just a light weight
in a heavy weight fight
a dark horse running
in the day and the night
parts of me can move
at the speed of light
but catching up to it all is something
i haven't got quite right
in a library somewhere
some other time
some other place
the moves are my eyes now
each square becomes my face
i was just a chess piece
on a board
About the Creator
Bren
"It's just a token of my extreme!" - Frank Zappa
"Cause it's all in the heat of the moment It's all in the pain!!!" - Devin Townsend
Centre Stage with the wonderful Heather Hubler
I'm writing it out not acting in doubt!
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Standing While Falling
Quotation from Friedrich Nietzsche "He who wrestles long with monsters should beware lest he himself become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Man is not destroyed by suffering, but by the meaning he makes of it."
By LUCCIAN LAYTH4 days ago in Critique
Comments (28)
"Great read!"
This poem is slick, smooth, and awesome all around. Congrats on your top story and on placing in Natasha's challenge!
Congratulations on placing in the challenge ✅.
Well done on placing with this, it is beastly and as Natasha had already mentioned you had included a Fontaines song, when I read this it felt very Starburster! comgrats on Top Story too!
Sick. Always love your style B. Congrats on your achievement in the unofficial challenge.
This is brilliant. I found this through Natasha's poetry challenge. Your talent is extraordinary. ⚡💙⚡
Wow Brenton. You are one of a kind mate. Makes me jealous. This is fascinating.
Great job. Congrats on the wins.
Congratulations on your win, and the top story
Well done on your leaderboard placement! 😁
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
🎉 Congrats on getting Top Story! 🌟 So well deserved — I’m super proud of you! 🙌💖 I seriously can’t wait to read the next one… I know it’s gonna be just as amazing! ✍️🔥 Keep shining! 💫
Very well written, congrats 👏
That’s how I feel!!
Congratulations on top story! An incredible read... I love the use of the chess board as a metaphor! ❤️❤️
Great word play and metaphors. Congrats.
A fascinating poem… I love the chess theme.
Brenton, this reads like a whispered confession delivered between chess moves—quiet, intense, and full of beautifully layered tension. The way you blend the inner dialogue of self-doubt and mental noise with the precision and calculation of chess is masterful. The metaphor of being both the player and the piece—both strategist and subject—was especially striking. Lines like “i was just a light weight / in a heavy weight fight” and “each square becomes my face” say so much with so little. You’ve taken the psychological battle of a match and expanded it into a meditation on identity, control, and vulnerability. There’s a raw rhythm to this that feels like thinking mid-game, when silence is loud and every move feels like it might give something away. This isn’t just a chess poem—it’s an existential checkmate. Well played. ♟️
Well done on top story. You write so well
I was waiting for this to make TS 😉
A vivid and powerful poem!
Congrats on your TS.
Wonderful
Great job congratulations to you
A fascinating poem… I love the chess theme.