A Shadow of You...
For Mackenzie Davis’ Photo Prompt
Once upon a lifetime ago…
You were beautiful, young, welcoming…
Each moment spent with you… a priceless treasure.
***
Rich aromas of roast pork and veggies wafted through the kitchen...
Spicy Ginger Nut biscuits cooled on the windowsill…
Tantalising Sylvester, the midnight cat, complete with his snowy white bow tie.
***
Hide and seek, played out under creaking stairs...
Rooms rang crazily with laughter and verbal sparring with siblings…
Spiralled into elbow jabs and stinging, tea towel swipes.
***
Cosy chats by the rough-hewn, stone fireplace
Languorous bedtime tales… cuddled in closely to our mother
Until… that fatal, final night…
***
Mosquitoes droned incessantly
Attacked us mercilessly
Repelled by the feeble defence of lowly mosquito coils.
***
Their pungent smoke wove erratically down hallways
Crept through vacant rooms,
Snaked up wooden staircases.
***
A silvery crescent moon watched
A whispering ember wander…
Silent stillness ruptured.
***
Golden tongues lapped greedily
We fled in terror
Powerless to save you.
***
All too soon that crackling, furious monster
Ruthlessly devoured you
Leaving an empty charred shell.
****
Now…
A mere lifetime later…
Although no longer young nor beautiful…
Life again adorns you…
***
Verdant green ferns wave their welcome
Streamers of vines festively decorate beams, door frames…
Ulysses butterflies flit joyously…
Flashes of iridescent electric blue, edged in black.
***
A surreal shadow…
Of you…
In your former glory.
***
Inspired by Dharrsheena Raja Seggaran’s intriguing photo for Mackenzie Davis’ Photo Prompt below.
In case I was too cryptic… an errant ember from an insect repellent mosquito coil caused the fire which gutted the house in the photo.
Derelict abandoned houses always fill me with sadness, pondering the past lives and happenings that led to their present state.
***
Below is my original entry into Mackenzie’s Ekphrastic (photo) challenge… I think it has a similar mood.
About the Creator
Angie the Archivist 📚🪶
Labrador‘s personality🐕🦺… attention span of a gnat! 🙃
Top Stories: Race Against Time; Elusive Parkrun; Painting Pandemonium
The Quandry; A Parade Of Shoes; Shadow of You; Her Majesty Mia
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
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More stories from Angie the Archivist 📚🪶 and writers in Poets and other communities.
Comments (25)
Golden tongues lapped greedily - I love that!
Excellent work! Congratulations on achieving Top Story!
Your poem beautifully captures the bittersweet essence of time passing and the memories that linger. The vivid descriptions transport us to a world of nostalgia, where moments of laughter, sibling banter, and comforting chats by the fireplace come to life. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt piece!
A fully realized narrative. Great job!
Congrats on your top story.
This was amazing. The lines were incredibly evocative. You have a gift for imagery.
Congratulations on top story! 🎉🎉🎉
I was there with your every word! How quickly life can change! Congrats on Top Story I hope to someday be acknowledged by the vocal team and see a peice of my work as Top Story and you have been acknowledged many times that says something profound about your work congrats to you my lady!
This poem is both sad and beautiful.
Well written and evocative. Congrats on a tale well woven.
Congrats on Top Story!🥳🥳🥳
Congratulations!
Very nicely done!! I loved it and all the descriptions.
Angie!!! How did I not read this sooner? Goodness me, this is SO good. The voice is commanding, a confidence that only a vivid memory can hold. I'm in love with your diction, too. It's marvelous in every way, surprising me with each word. "Repelled by the feeble defence of lowly mosquito coils. *** Their pungent smoke wove erratically down hallways Crept through vacant rooms, Snaked up wooden staircases." One of my favorite bits. Something about "mosquito coils" is just so sharp an image, and quite unexpected. It complements so well with the smoke image as well... Bravo! And thank you for participating in this extended part of the photo challenge!!
Wow. You gave that pic life, death, and rebirth. Beautifully done. Congrats on the TS.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congrats on top story!!💛
Tragic and touching all in one. Congrats on Top Story!
I love this Angie it's so tragically sad but beautifully told!! Congrats on Top Story, this is so well deserved!!
Angie, this is brilliant! You've created a really strong story from this picture, the perfect compliment. I loved it.
Lovely writing. I, too, am a sucker for abandoned houses and the mysteries they hold. I don't know if I missed it or if you were cryptic, but I loved the explanation. I reread the story with that in mind and found new nuggets to enjoy. I loved it knowing and not knowing! I'm also a sucker for having enough space in a story to fill in the spaces with my own imaginings, so this one was powerful in both lights. Congratulations on Top Story. And congratulations to Dharr for inspiring it!
How the hell did I miss this beauty? This is amazing. So beautiful, so full of emotion and would could have been etc. Love it. also, Congrats on Top Story!
Wow, Angie! This is incredible! A love letter to a house that was once a home! The opening stanzas were so vibrant! Such rich detail in painting a picture of the inhabitants lives. The imagery in the lines about the fire were excellent. And the final lines of recognizing a different beauty was a wonderful close and connection to the image.
You have no idea how much I appreciate your explanation! I wouldn't say you were too cryptic but it's just that I'm a tad slow at times, lol. I reread the poem with that context and I enjoyed it even more. You brought that photo justice! I loved it so much!
It was fun reading into your poem to figure out who ‘You’ was. I loved the poem and the photo by Dharrsheena.