Why You Should Love Yourself

Growing up, I learned many times over how hard life could be. I wouldn't even claim to have had an abnormally difficult upbringing. My birth being the result of a few mistakes, a bit too much alcohol and the decision to not get an abortion, I was never given the opportunity to have a full and healthy childhood or family, something that hangs over me to this day. I held it against my mother, and my father, and their mothers and fathers. I took issue with the world at large that had strained them in so many ways, and the systems of government that had failed to help them find a better place in life. It is very easy after all, to slump your shoulders, defeated by the hardships of life. To seek the origin of your burdens and complications, hoping to understand why you carry this weight that you do, and to choose anger and spite and sadness in the face of these things that have put you in the place you are in today.

Even easier yet, to hurt yourself a little more every day, struggling to maintain your composure, to fall into smoking, drinking, sex, or even just sullen and empty regret, pity or self hatred. To think yourself weak, or a mess, to question why you feel so disconnected from the world around you, and even spite those that don't openly share in your pain, or even those that do. It is not a simple life we live, but the only certainty is that you will either keep living it or you wont. Death and taxes be damned, it is not the 1990s anymore.

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You, dear reader, are worthy and deserving of love. I am sorry you do not feel it. I am sorry you do not receive it. Never forget that many of those around you feel the same way every day. Every person on this earth feels pain and sadness in their own way and on their own time, remember that you are not alone, even when it feels like you might be. You are a beautiful soul, who perseveres in the face of all hardship. Even when you are not doing your best, you must try your best, it is the only thing that will always be there for you. Your ultimate truth: to always put forth the most positive effort you can, in love, in work, in friendship, and most importantly in yourself. Your mistakes are to be forgiven. Few would be so petty as to hold on to your mistakes as you do, after all.

Let your failures and shortcomings inspire you to do better the next time, even if just by a little bit. Let the love you wish you could share be known to the world. Do not hold it in for fear of getting hurt, but instead let it out, and expect nothing in return. To bring peace and joy to the life of another, even for a second, is it's own reward. You, just like those around you, need a reason to be better, and an example of what being better is. What is so often forgotten, though, is that to be a better version of yourself is as simple as taking a single step a day. Staying hydrated, going outside, telling someone you love them, giving a smile or even a hug. The human experience is so isolating because the world we live in makes strong, self dependent people who thrive through their own desire to succeed.

You are not at fault for not naturally being one of these people. Nobody was born self dependent. It is a learned skill, to love oneself, to encourage oneself and to pursue your dreams. Always remember; "life gives back what you put into it. You burn energy exercising so you can wake up energized one day. You put money in savings instead of into treating yourself so that one day you can treat yourself to not having a job anymore. When you share your warmth with others, you foster a warmth in them that will one day be the most comfort you have ever felt." Until that "one day," you will have to learn your limits and discover the power you have to improve your life, and just how much things can change for you if you do.

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To accept and confront the challenges in your life is the most fulfilling thing you will ever do. Until you learn to break through the pain and frustration and weight pressing down on you from above, you will never grow.

You are strong enough. You are worthy. You are deserving of love. You have to find it. Foster within yourself and those around you, warmth and positive mentalities. If you want to love yourself, you must first find what you do not love about yourself, and address it. Your anxiety, your substance abuse, your mistakes, your anti-social attitude, these things do not make you a bad person. These do not mean you are not deserving of love. You deserve to be loved, by yourself and those around you, but you first must open your heart to your own truths, and accept the pain of your mistakes and regrets, looking forwards, recognizing how they have made you the person you are today. If all else fails, just remember: a bad day has not stopped you yet, and never will if you don't let it.

Find your inner strength through truth and purpose, and you will find your love as well. They are both already there. Just open your heart to that which you hide from and you will realize that this strength and love have never stopped being your driving force, even in your darkest days, even when you thought they were gone, these are the butterflies in your stomach, the fuzzy feeling in your chest, the warmth in your cheeks, just as much as they are the pain in your heart and the weight on your shoulders.Without one, the other can not exist. To throw off this weight is to never learn to overcome, but you have already overcome so much. That you feel this weight is proof of your strength in itself. To harden yourself against pain is to never feel loved, but you have felt love before, even if not now. That you feel this pain is proof of your love.

You already have everything you need; let it guide you with purpose.

You are loved.