Why I Write

I write because I can. I know it may not be the best of the best or everyone’s cup of tea. But that’s okay- I don’t write for anyone but me. Yes I may post it online, share it to my social media, what have you. I’m not looking for money though, or a shot at being published. It’s simply for me. Read it or don’t, it’s not for me to say.

I write because if I didn’t, my mind may explode. My writing is me bearing my soul and saying “TAKE IT!” I don’t have to hide behind a facade, a mask, a laugh. My writing is the deepest darkest corners of my mind. Corners many will never see in person, corners that hide the worst of pain.

I write for closure to questions that may never be answered. The questions that scratch at my throat while gasping for air through tears. Questions that even though they may hurt to be answered, I still want to know “Why?” Why did it all go wrong, why did I have to suffer? Why did you leave? Did you even care…did you even truly love me?

I write to confess how I truly feel. Stripped of all nonsense, every barrier lifted and every obstacle removed. Just to let it be known to the ones I could never tell... how much I loved them...or how much it hurt to lose them. From potential lovers...to friends. I can tell someone how hard I fell for them, so close yet so far. To reminisce about what had been, wishing I could get it back, but knowing it will never come back. Letting the warmth of the memories flood my body for even a second.

I write because if I kept my emotions bottled up...I wouldn’t be here. My demons would have gotten the best of me. They would have swallowed me up without spitting me back out. Or I would of been less of the person I am now, still pretending things are okay. Fighting my own mind, letting it hurt me and those around me. Unable to find peace...unless it was through drastic means.

I write to speak the words no one would listen to. To help ease my racing mind after a fight, or after a heartbreak. To expose the darker side of my mind, the cruel and brash emotions. We all have that darkness within, but mine finds a way out.

I write to let my fantasies come true. To let my mind fantasize even the filthiest of thoughts. Creating scenes and imagining it play out. To entertain my not-so-nice side. Goes to show not everyone is as innocent as they seem on the outside...

I write to create situations that will never happen, but wish they could. To help cope with a harsh reality. Trying to escape the pain within by letting the mind wander and day dream. Creating a movie scene through words, a play, a skit, anything better than what is.

I write what I know. What I have felt, what I have seen, what I have experience. The pain and happiness and love and sadness I have felt. My writing is my stark naked mind, a pure form but wrapped up neatly through words. Even still, read between the lines, read again and again...it’s all there. One single human’s emotions and feelings. It’s all there, and it will keep on coming. So go ahead, dive in, take a peek, explore. It’s not for me to say, if you decide to take a look within my mind.