Why I Wake Up at 5 AM

I used to think people who woke up at 5 AM were lying.

Nobody actually wants to wake up that early. It's a performance, I told myself. A humble brag disguised as a habit. The kind of thing people claim to do to sound disciplined while secretly hitting snooze like the rest of us.

Then I became one of them. But not for the reasons you'd think.

I don't wake up at 5 AM to get ahead or be more productive. I don't do it for the gym or the side hustle or the miracle morning routine everyone talks about.

I wake up at 5 AM because that's the only hour of the day when I remember who I am.

The Version of Me I'd Lost

Two years ago, I was drowning in other people's expectations.

My job demanded one version of me—confident, decisive, always "on." My family needed another—the responsible one, the problem-solver, the rock. My friends expected the fun one, always available, never too serious.

I was so busy being what everyone needed that I forgot I was a person with my own thoughts, feelings, and dreams.

The breaking point came at my own birthday party. Surrounded by people who loved me, I felt completely alone. They were celebrating someone who looked like me but wasn't actually me anymore.

That night, I couldn't sleep. At 5 AM, exhausted and defeated, I got up and sat in my kitchen in the dark. And in that silence, something unexpected happened.

For the first time in months, I could hear myself think. Not the thoughts about what I needed to do or who I needed to be. Just... my own voice. Quiet and almost forgotten, but still there.

"I miss you," I whispered to myself. And I meant it.

The Hour That Changed Everything

The next morning, I set my alarm for 5 AM on purpose.

I didn't have a plan. I just wanted to feel that connection again—with the version of myself that existed before I became everyone's everything.

I made coffee. Sat in the same chair. And just... existed. No performing. No pleasing. No pretending.

The first week, I didn't know what to do with the quiet. My mind kept trying to fill it with tasks and worries. But I resisted. I just sat with myself like I was meeting an old friend I'd abandoned.

Week two, I started recognizing her—the real me. She liked the way morning light changed colors. She had opinions I'd stopped voicing. She wanted things I'd stopped admitting.

Week three, she started speaking up during the rest of the day. Small things at first. "Actually, I prefer tea." "I don't really want to go to that event." "Can I think about that and get back to you?"

Why I Still Do It

People ask me about my 5 AM habit now. They assume it's about productivity or getting more done.

But here's the truth: waking up at 5 AM is the only time I get to be completely myself before the world starts asking me to be everything else.

It's the hour before my phone starts buzzing with demands. Before emails require responses. Before anyone needs me to be anything other than exactly who I am in that moment.

In that darkness, I don't have to perform. I can think thoughts no one else would understand or approve of. I can want things that don't make sense to anyone but me. I can just... be.

And that hour of being myself? It gives me the strength to navigate the other twenty-three hours of being what others need.

What I've Learned

The world will always have expectations for you. Your job. Your family. Your friends. Even strangers on the internet have opinions about who you should be.

And if you're not careful, you'll spend your entire life meeting those expectations while losing yourself in the process.

Waking up at 5 AM isn't about grinding or hustling or optimizing your morning. It's about protecting the one hour where you remember you exist—not as someone's employee or family member or friend, but as yourself.

It's about giving yourself permission to check in with the person everyone else forgets is still in there.

You don't have to wake up at 5 AM specifically. Maybe your hour is 10 PM. Maybe it's lunch break in your car. Maybe it's Sunday morning before everyone else gets up.

The time doesn't matter. What matters is finding your hour—that sacred space where you're not performing for anyone, where you can hear your own voice above the noise, where you remember who you actually are.

Because here's what I know now: you can't live an authentic life if you never meet your authentic self.

And sometimes, the only way to meet her is to wake up before the world does.

So yes, I wake up at 5 AM. Not to be better or do more.

But to be me. Just me. Before I have to be everything else.

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Thank you for reading...

Regards: Fazal Hadi