This Little Black Notebook's Curse

_This Little Black Notebook’s Curse _

“This is me, my most authentic self! This is me, my most authentic self! This is me, and I can do this, because I am!” Autumn Moon tells herself repeatedly, as she walks through the heavy glass, double-doors of the tiny, dusty, you-will-miss-it-if-you-blink bookstore, that is nestled between several other small shops, located within the historic buildings of downtown Caldwell, Idaho. This same mom-and-pop-owned bookstore, that Autumn has walked by and into every day for the past five years. Her mother, a Psychic, has owned her own small metaphysical shop, just next door. Also, where Autumn has worked through blood, sweat and tears - alongside her mom - in hopes to help her struggling mother, Gypsy, to financially keep the doors open, so they may keep teaching classes to crisis centers, and their community members.

“Well, hello little Miss Autumn!” exclaimed the white haired, older woman sitting behind a small, glass display case, with an old-time cash register on top of it.

“Hi Mrs. Busby!” Smiled Autumn.

“I thought you already spent your allowance in here on a book just the other day?” Mrs. Busby asked with an inquisitive look of concern on her face.

“Oh, I did, Mrs. Busby, but I am in for a very important reason today,” said Autumn. “This is a business matter, actually,” Autumn explained with a passionate, yet serious look about her.

Mrs. Busby cocked her head in wonder, as she watched Autumn Moon slowly browsing the bookshelf with all the blank journals and notebooks stacked randomly about. Then she asked, “So, little missy, what exactly are you looking for, and what is the urgency?”

Autumn closed her eyes slightly as she inhaled, then exhaled with a very deep breath. She turned to Mrs. Busby, and marched over to the counter where she sat, plopping herself on a round barstool in front of her. Autumn clasped her hands over her forehead, looking down at some bookmarks below her in the glass display cabinet, letting out a huge sigh of stress!

“My mom’s business is going under!” Autumn said with utter sadness. “And you know better than anyone, Mrs. Busby, how hard she and I struggled just to get where we are at with that shop, how much my mom has sacrificed in her life for me, and most of all…how much she loves what she does there for her clients, and the community! I just cannot sit here and do nothing to try to help her keep the one thing that has been her dream, and that helps pay my college expenses! I just can’t!”

Mrs. Busby reaches out to pat Autumn’s hand in sympathy and understanding, but before she can even get a word out of her mouth, Autumn jumps up and storms over to the same bookshelf of journals and notebooks on it, with a look of determination on her face! She scans the four tier shelf with her arm extended, running her index finger along the edge of each shelf, slowly and focused.

Mrs. Busby watches her and says, “I am so sorry for you and your mom, sweetie. You know if it wasn’t for this crazy COVID-19 pandemic, and I wasn’t barely hanging on myself…I would do everything I could to help, but….”

Autumn Moon yells out, “Ahhh-haaaa! THIS ONE!”

Autumn scurries quickly across the store floor, back over to the counter and throws her soon-to-be purchase across the counter towards Mrs. Busby, where it come to an abrupt stop, just inches away from her arm, and says, “I’ll take this one!”

Autumn’s enthusiasm is over-the-top, in Mrs. Busby’s opinion, as she picks up the item, rolling her eyes saying, “okay, but I don’t understand how this is going to help you and your mom save the business.”

Autumn looks at Mrs. Busby with a look of disappointment for not seeing the magick laying in front of her as she rings up her total in the register. She then takes her bagged purchase from Mrs. Busby’s hand with a wide, Cheshire-like cat’s grin and says, “I will be back to show you how this is going to break a curse! I will see you in a few days Mrs. Busby…have a great day!” And out the double-glass doors - bells ringing loudly - Autumn flew!

Driving home on a bright, full-moon lit road, Autumn Moon periodically looks over to the passenger seat at the small brown bag holding the answer to her all her problems – thinking of how the mysticism will flow. Gazing back at the perfectly round face staring back at her from the dark sky above, reminding her that she must reflect upon her intuitions, guidance, and all the lessons thus far, in her life. “It must be just like the canvas before me; the clean slate of the dark skies, the sprinkle of magick through the twinkling stars, and the wisdom of perfection that the face before me shares with my name – Moon,” she thought out loud. “What inspiration can come from the simple beauties of the Universe,” Autumn said to herself, as she pulled into the driveway at her house. She reached over to the passenger seat, feeling for the bag to grab it, repeating once more to herself, “This is me, my most authentic self! This is me, my most authentic self! This is me, and I can do this, because I am!” Autumn Moon closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and before exiting her car, she harnessed the power of the moon to focus all her energy and intent into breaking this curse! Speaking directly to the moon, this affirmation, “I will do this and succeed! If not for myself, then absolutely for my mom. I will never know unless I try…so here goes everything!”

Over the next week, Autumn Moon stays in her room, hardly coming out to eat, drink, or use the restroom. She is completely focused on the little black notebook, elegantly engraved with an intricate, tiny stamp with the word - Moleskin. This was her divination tool that was going to hold the magical text she will conjure up to break the curse that she and her mother have endured! Autumn could not help but think, “Boy, I can’t wait for Mrs. Busby to read what I have written!” She has full confidence in her Literacy Narrative that she has written within its pages, and she fully intends on letting Mrs. Busby read it first, then submitting to a writing contest she came across, online, just a few weeks ago – and the money from this writing contest is what she plans to give to her mom to keep her business open, as well as putting some money towards her college funds– and even if she does not win, she plans on submitting her Literacy Narrative to the DALN (Digital Archives of Literacy Narratives – Library of Congress website). Either way, Autumn cannot help but think how important it is for her to write this Essay! It represents everything she is passionate about, and all she has overcome!

After hours, upon hours of writing, editing, reading, revising, and revising again, Autumn Moon emerges from her room. Her hair is in a messy bun, her clothes are disheveled sweats, and a wrinkled T-shirt with Baby Yoda on it. Yet with her little black notebook in hand, she rushes past her mom, Gypsy, who is yelling behind her, “Wait! Where are you off to in such a hurry? You look like a hot mess…at least eat…” and the door slams shut mid-sentence! Her mom just rolls her eyes as she sees her daughter pulling out of the driveway in a flash! “Crazy kid!” she mumbles under her breath.

Like she left over a week ago, Autumn Moon comes flying through the double-glass doors, bells jingling even louder than when she left last time from the old bookstore. As usual, Mrs. Busby in sitting in her regular seat behind the cash register, asking, “So how is that magical-spell-breaker working out for you?”

“Well, to begin with, Mrs. Busby…not to be ugly, but it is not a magical-spell-breaker it is a curse breaker! And my little black notebook here, holds the answers from the Universe!”

Mrs. Busby took the notebook from Autumn Moon’s hand, smiling. “Do you want me to read it?” She asked.

“Well of course I do, silly! Why do you think I rushed down here? I wouldn’t want anyone else to read it first but you, of course!” Autumn went on, “It’s an Essay I wrote for that contest that I told you about…so go on, read it! I will wait here till you do, so I can hear your review!” Mrs. Busby smiled, looked down at the little black notebook, and it read:

The Curse of Dyslexia

“Every opportunity I got, I used to Read…” (Douglass)

Write and read to ability the as literacy define I. Read that sentence with the letters backwards. Now, read that sentence jumbled up and blurry, as well. Finally, apply all of that to every book you have read, assignment you are given, and paper you write, every day of your literacy life! Then, and only then, will you understand the curse of dyslexia.

I define literacy as the ability to read and write as one of the hardest things that I have had to learn my whole life! The struggle is real, but I have come to understand that overcoming my dyslexia is not the actual hurdle here. The real dilemma is getting others, who do not have any idea what it is to be dyslexic, is all about.

Some people who read these stories do so as a passing and move on without really putting any thought into what a real curse it is for those who have dyslexia. Nor do they take the time to understand how much it affects our literacy journey. I am going to show you, through my dyslexic eyes, how I came to read and write! My experiences are heartfelt, tear-jerking, yet full of struggle and passion! The only way to put you in my shoes is to show you what dyslexics see.

Now that you have an understanding about what dyslexic’s see, the struggles I face with this curse are difficult as I move forward with my literacy expedition! My intended future hopes are that I would like to accomplish helping my mom in my never-ending literacy journey. Curses can sometimes end up being a blessing! Therefore, with my mom working hard and struggling to keep her business afloat during this COVID-19 pandemic, I was wanting to pay-it-forward to my mom for all her devotion to me, and her community mindedness, I have found a way to carry on! I plan on entering a writing contest that is worth $20,000.00! If I win, I can donate the money to helping my mom’s business and experience the most rewarding and uplifting literacy adventure in a lifetime! Maybe even show others with and without this dyslexic curse, that anyone can overcome reading, writing, and learning hardships with a little hard work and determination!

In the end, figuring out how to believe in yourself, and breaking a dyslexic curse can truly be contributed to a simple quote, .(Douglass) ”…read to used I, got I opportunity Every”, DAMNED CURSE!!! Dyslexic occupational hazard! I meant to finish with: “Every opportunity I got, I used to read…” (Douglass).

With huge, round tears swelling up, Mrs. Busby exclaimed, “Submit it!”

And with that, Autumn Moon left the bookstore, going home with complete faith in her abilities, doing just what Mrs. Busby told her to do! She submitted her story knowing she would save her mom’s business by winning the $20,000.00. And so, win she did! This Little Black Notebook’s Curse was broken!