The Tao of Listening

One should listen to others carefully, and with attention. Do not be hasty to speak before you have heard what others have to say. In classical Taoism, the sage said very little, or nothing, if nothing was most appropriate. Speaking before hearing is egotistical, can lead to hurt feelings, and sometimes, grievous errors.

You should usually ignore gossip, trivialities, and obscenities, though there may be a grain of truth in any speech. But most of the time this kind of speech is not worth your attention, much less remembering. Wait to hear facts, well considered opinions, and occasionally, a gem of wisdom or two.

Wisdom is not hidden, nor is it exclusively possessed by the learned, successful, or charismatic individuals. Wisdom can be found in honest speech of even the most humble persons we may encounter. We must not ignore this wisdom. It is a gift given often times freely to us, and may not pass our way again.

And take time to listen to what is said without words. Such unspoken speech may come our way in the form of cues in the body language, or the facial expressions, of those with whom we are speaking. But such unspoken speech is not necessarily always from a person. In an organization, if you listen closely with all your senses, and your mind as well, will discern trends, attitudes, the flow of the organization.

Listen to all persons as equals. Animals, plants, and all living things too. All have a story to tell, wisdom to bring. Even, perhaps especially, when people are lying, they are telling us about themselves, how they perceive the world around them, their goals and aspirations, and their pain. Think to yourself when you hear pain beneath the lie, how can I help this person? Where they are void, ask yourself, can I give something to them to fill that void.

The speech of an organization, whether spoken or unspoken, can be true and helpful, or patently false, delusional, or pure fantasy. The speech of an organization that is not true and helpful is a disease that must be addressed, and address quickly, before it becomes a cancer within the organization.

The wise in an organization, like the Tao, like water, flow to the low places to fill them. When wise listening detects unhealthy speech, and the wise let their words and their actions flow to these low places to fill them. Water does not flow the high places, nor need the wise concern themselves with places in the organization where only wise speech is heard.

When the low places in an organization are filled, the organization itself becomes wise, like the Tao, like nature, and acts prudent, and with compassion. The wise organization supports the growth of new life. New ideas, new jobs, new products. It can renew employees whose mind and heart had previously fallen low. The organization becomes a verdant place where people come renewal. His products bring renewal.

And all of this, starts with listening. Where all listen carefully to all, the organization evolves into a garden more beautiful than any of its founders could’ve imagined.

So then, shouldn’t listening, careful listening, to speech both spoken and unspoken, be a valued skill? A skill to be rewarded, to be encouraged, to be praised? Shouldn’t it be a skill that employees who could improve their listening be trained in skilled listening.

Is careful listening in the organization’s mission statement? Is careful listening in the organization’s employee handbook. Is it encouraged within the organization? And, perhaps most importantly, listen carefully to its customers, even when those customers are unreasonable or abusive, does the organization hear the customers pain and understand it. And how will it respond?

Listen first.